-Emma- @fedia.io 🏳️⚧️ trans girl [she/her] 🏳️⚧️
New account, same Emma!!
old accounts: [email protected] & [email protected]
Let's hope this instance doesn't go extinct like the others!
turbulence
the waves crashing down are a terrible thing but the sounds on the shore where the little birds sing can be all that i need to keep going despite all the troubles surviving the ocean at night
i want to keep going; i cannot concede to the violence within causing me to recede
i know that i can't always gain what i seek but i know not how to escape from such a bleak and foreboding dismay of ideas in my mind and the fairy tale ending that's so hard to find
the journey itself is a battle it seems but there's hope in my heart to fulfill all my dreams
and i think that i must not sink further below
this struggle is real and i can still feel the undertow
but i will go on
looking at your pics, i am unable to even imagine you as anything other than a cute girl ✨🎀✨
and i'm completely serious about my envy 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
i think i'm starting to unravel my attachment issues and the reasons i pull away from those i love
undertow
i try to escape when it feels like i'm being pulled down and i don't know how to get out of here
being held under the surface fighting for a purpose igniting several verses
as it all goes gray i fear for today and the promise of tomorrow there's bound to be sorrow i wish i could borrow the power to eliminate this dread and despair and somehow to repair myself
it's almost too much to stay where i am to battle my demons to debate why the land that i know is the road to no- where
and if i can somehow overcome this now and keep from being pulled down again i'd still have to try to make a break for the shore and i don't know what to do anymore i'm trapped on the floor watching waves crash above but i'm guided by Love
OMG WTF!!!
HOW are you this GORGEOUS?!?
that figure! the long thick flowing hair! those legs! and then the dress, bow, and socks to show it all off!!
my envy burns 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
(seriously wtf, you are ✨gorgeous✨)
Have you been in a codependent relationship?
i can tell you about my last relationship privately, but it was obviously very different to your current situation
LGBTQ people are some of the most caring, sweet, and loving people
without question, i know this to be true of you
Just get started and follow what calls you
as you unearth your true self and undergo the journey into that unsettling unknown, don't let the uncertainty upset your unending urge for authenticity and self actualization
i send you love 🪄✨💖💜💗💜💖✨
i don't think i'm gonna go to public events, but i did at least find a local support group, and i'm gonna try to go there.
(idk when, or even if, i can return to the matrix side; i don't know why. but i wanna make sure y'all know i'm okay.)
Are you planning to go to any Pride events? You don't have to be out. Typically, everyone is welcome.
I've checked out fetlife, but it unfortunately requires javascript, which is a hard pass from me. I don't feel comfortable accessing sites that block users like me. The reason that I use kbin/mbin is because it does not require javascript at all. Account creation and use of the platform are free from that requirement, giving me a better user experience and increased privacy.
Thank you for the suggestion though ❤️
note to self: trans text does not render on mbin
I appreciate the recommendation, but there really aren't any mobile apps that are compatible with my Librem 5 phone. I run Linux, and I'm not comfortable running "traditional" apps that contain surveillance malware and engage in data harvesting. Social websites generally tend to require too much personal information, and so I feel banned from those platforms. I'm very glad to have access to the fediverse. Without it, I would have nothing.
I'm going to try to go to Pride events for the first time in my life and see if I can find anyone.
Well I'm thankfully close to the Greater New Orleans Area, instead of being totally isolated from blue cities. As a last resort, I might try to work up the courage to go to Pride stuff this year, but I'm so nervous of large crowds of people and evereything being recorded for social media now. If it weren't for all of the cameras, I might actually be able to find LGBTQ+ people during carnival time.
Thank you for the luck 🍀 😊
Thanks cowboy, and yes it's been nice.
...
But I also feel like I've been numb for so long that this sudden capacity for feeling, mixed with these new relationships, has just melted me down to my very core and left me more distraught than I otherwise would have been. It's one thing to be lonely, but it's quite another to feel so connected and loved by others and yet unable to ever be in their presence. I was more positive when I made my original post searching for friends, but this time I'm just...I don't even know. I came here to distract myself, and I figured I may as well do this now, call out to the void to save me. But there's no one coming. I don't have hope that anything will come of these threads. I don't think I'm likely to find anyone. I just wish this were all easier. I wish I could just meet my friends and feel a sense of calm wash over me, allowing me to relax and breath easy, knowing everything will be okay. I need to be strong for others, but I also struggle to be strong for myself, and I wish I could just cry with my friends. I've cried enough tears in solitude, and I don't wanna feel trapped anymore. I can't continue like this; I need an escape from the pain.
Thank you for the reminder for myself and others that read this thread. Yes, I am aware of the dangers and the necessity of public meetings, and I'd probably bring a family member with me if I actually find someone here to meet.
Thank you for the well wishes and support.
🏳️⚧️ trans girl in southeast Louisiana looking to make friends
Hi, I'm Emma (she/her).
So, long story short:
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I am lonely
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I wanna befriend some local LGBTQ+ people here in southeast Louisiana
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I can't send/receive direct messages to/from Lemmy users with this Mbin account, but I have a Lemmy account I can use if necessary
About me:
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I'm a 90s kid
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I'm a trans girl
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I began transition, including HRT, January of 2023
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I suffer from OCD
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I'm a Linux nerd, kinda
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I use PureOS on my Librem 5
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I use QubesOS on my Librem 14
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I use pfSense on my firewall/router
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I'd like to think that I'm somewhat good at writing
I'd love to meet some LGBTQ+ people, but I don't know how. The only support group I've found is exclusively online via Zoom, and only Facebook users are allowed. As a privacy and security obsessed person, I'm totally excluded, and I just feel so trapped right now. I want to meet people offline, and I just don't know how.
And I'm really sad right now thinking about how much I love the friends I've made online in the past few months and how I feel so isolated from them.
It hurts to post this, but I feel that I must. I don't expect to find anyone, but I have to try.
Edit:
DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so here is my Lemmy account:
I'm so lucky to have you in my life now 🥰
We will take on this world together 💕
and nothing can stop us; the future is what we decide, what we make it to be.
❤️💖💗💖❤️
seeking guidance on bottom surgery
Hi, I'm the total mess known as Emma, and I'm currently a little overwhelmed with things.
So, long story short:
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I started HRT January 2023
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I desperately need bottom surgery as soon as possible
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I'm worried that I should have been doing electrolysis instead of laser
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I'm worried about wait lists for surgery
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I'm worried about the costs of surgery
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I need to find a surgeon
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I'm interested in evacuating to a safe state on the west coast
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I feel overwhelmed with everything that I need to do
There's so much going on for me right now, and I'm seeking input from everyone here with something to say about any of my struggles.
Thanks ❤️
trans girl searching for friends in southeast Louisiana
Hi, I'm Emma! If you recognize my avi from Matrix chat rooms, yes I'm that Emma. 😊
Ada and others can verify that I'm legit.
So, long story short:
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I am lonely
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I wanna befriend some local trans people here in southeast Louisiana
About me:
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I started HRT January 2023
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I have ESP! (Estrogen Spironolactone Progesterone)
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I'm a Linux nerd
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I use QubesOS
I'm making this post here, because this is a much bigger audience than the Matrix chat rooms, but I am also nervous.
I know the odds are still against me, but I have to try.
Edit:
DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so here is my Lemmy account:
About the troll problem
Hey, so I'm on a different instance, and I hope it's not out of place for me to post here. I really like Mbin for its design and features, and I made this account specifically for interacting with LGBTQ+ posts.
Anyway, there are a few things I'd like to discuss, if that's okay.
First, I'd like to know if it's necessary for me to report posts if they've already been reported on Blahaj. Like, is it just a federation delay that causes the bad posts to still be visible for a while, or is my reporting necessary to get them removed?
I've noticed that the recent troll posts are coming from lemmy.today and eviltoast.org, and I'm wondering if these instances should maybe be considered for de-federation from Blahaj. It seems like one or two users are ban-evading by making new accounts on these two instances. Are there any legit users that would be affected by this de-federation?
Also, I wonder if I made a mistake by boosting a few threads recently. Like did I accidentally get the attention of these transphobes? Should I refrain from boosting?
Again, I hope it's okay for me to post this here.