I’m not following. VBScript seems like the right tool. Why would they use something else? They’re generally light years beyond US defense capabilities so there’s a real dearth of suffering on their side.
Now if the joke is that they’re suffering because they have to use VBScript, I can get behind that
WScript.Echo "Just saying if I was invited onto a team intent on wreaking havoc upon our enemies, I would probably quit after 100 lines of calling windows apis in VBScript" & vbNewLine