This question pops up every now and then on social media and it always blows my mind that there are people who wipe standing up. I just don't understand the logistics of it and it seems like it would make things more difficult.
I wipe in a position that is more like squatting, because standing up clenches the cheeks making it harder to clean, but sitting leaves the possibility of potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl.
I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.