Image description: 4 panel comic titled If Trans People Said the Things Cis People Tell Them.
Panel one has an androgynous individual talking to a woman. The androgynous individual, "To me, you are 100% a girl, you know?" The woman has a look of confusion and disgust and responds with, "Wow, thanks."
Panel two has the same androgynous individual speaking with a man. The androgynous individual is saying, "It's so incredibly you look just like an actual boy!" The man is rubbing the back of his head in nervous confusion and says, "Yeah, I... am one?"
Panel three has the androgynous individual speaking with someone of ambiguous gender. The androgynous individual says, "I would never have guessed you were cis! Congratulations!" The other person is looking at them with an expression of confusion and concern.
Panel four has the androgynous individual speaking to a man. The androgynous individual says, "I think you are so brave for being who you are." The man is frowning at them.
The comic is credited to @assignedmale on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and SophieLabelledraws on YouTube. Their merch is at assignedmale.etsy.com and Pateron is at patreon.com/sophielabelle
No but there's a couple subtlies here. If you are calling someone brave, the context is important. It can come off as condescending. Also coming out isn't an all or nothing thing, see here.
Also in this comic they aren't saying they are brave for coming out. They are saying they are brave for being cis. The underlying assumption there being that being cis or trans is a choice that one can be brave for.
Following that assumption path, ugh. That's some bullshit.
I definitely don't think being trans or non trans is a choice. It's a part of who that person is and I want to support that.
Didn't know coming out was a spectrum but it kinda makes sense. That being said, I still think it's brave to step on any part of that spectrum as a trans person because that can cause so much upheaval in their life. Making that statement in any capacity is an act of bravery.
(sorry I really don't like the word cisgender, I can't explain it beyond it's an emotional reaction akin to nails on a chalkboard)
It’s kinda like calling a cancer patient brave. Like yeah, this shit’s rough, but holy hell the alternative is not good. At least that’s what my mom and I agreed when I was just starting transitioning and she was going through chemo. Both of us got called brave a lot
That being said, I still think it is brave because of the society we live in. I do my best to support my trans friends and new friends. I'll gladly walk up to a transphobic person and deck them in the face.
No one takes me up on that offer, but the point remains I do what I can to make the world a better place to be trans, sadly the world isn't. To be willing to be yourself in a world that hates it? That's bravery to me.
Take it from a loud and proud Jew with a resurregence of Nazism. Like it or not, walking around with a target on your back is an act of bravery and defiance.
Yes. It took a lot more bravery to like... realize and admit (to myself) that I was trans. Coming out of the closet, in my life, is more of a formality for the cis hetero people in my life. I don't really wanna talk about my gender and sexuality to everyone in my life, and afirrm that I am dressing this way and doing this because I'm trans. It's begging for acceptance. I resent the whole thing. When I was a teenager and tried to come out, that was brave. So, some queer people coming out could delight in being told how brave they are.
Most of this pain is inflicted by cis people, and I want even the friendly civil liberals to feel an ounce of the discomfort I have felt.
@BiNonBi. people saying supportive things. how refreshing. don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. and don’t expect any people, on any topic, to always say exactly what yu’d like them to. it won’t happen. i can guarantee it.
Is it bad that I wish someone would say "I never would have guessed you were trans" after I come out to them or drop my voice? I need validation on being stealth.
So you don’t get feedback that you are successful.
You do. The trans people you see in the community look right past you. For me at least, it means I'm often invisible to the people I want to be hyper visible to.