'It's like living in a school zone,' Says Rattled Secret Service Agent Protecting Trump

Fucking brutal. That's a hell of a good connection.

As the cop in South Park said after a kid was killed in town, "Dammit! Outside school is the one place kids are supposed to be safe!"

Hunh! I really thought the bus would be a lot shorter.

Onion has been in fire lately

Just. Goddamnit. I read so much of this article before I realized I had a mouth full of onion. Bravo.

"No one is even trying to shoot up Meadows Ridge College or the Oceanside Charter School!"