Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nunyabizz0000 on 2023-06-27 21:28:32+00:00. *** So I had an employee come to me to let me know she was pregnant. My response, “okay”. She was taken back from my lack of interest and enthusiasm, and fellow employees also seemed bothered by my response.

So AITA bc I didn’t ask more questions, or congratulate the person on the pregnancy. I wasn’t rude, or mean… just very matter-the-fact.

EDIT: to clarify my management mindset… I care more about my people than the companies Bottomline. I believe work is not the most important thing in the world. I made and will make all the proper accommodations when the time comes. I aim to have the employees stress free and to spend the minimal time here while providing the maximum compensation.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pleasant_Set5859 on 2023-06-27 21:18:08+00:00. *** I (30M) own my house, girlfriend (29F) rents an apartment with roommates.

We have been dating for 2 years, I suggested that she move in with me.

She refused, saying that she wants us to rent a new place together and I should rent out my house, because she doesn't want to live in my house. I told her I would let her change what she likes, but she says there is a difference between me letting her and her having the right to do it, which I think is ridiculous.

She asked if my parents or brother who live 4 hours away wanted to visit for a few weeks would she be able to veto that. I said of course not, it's my house and my family can visit me. She then proceeded to announce "this is exactly what I was talking about" like she proved some point. She has since not been replying to my texts.

AITA? It makes no sense for me to rent an apartment if I have my own house.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Bubbly_Contract3899 on 2023-06-27 20:24:35+00:00. *** I am currently nearly full term (35 weeks) and the conversation of what to name our daughter has been brought up a few times this week and it’s always ended in an argument.

The name of our daughter was decided quite early on in my pregnancy and it was my partners idea for the name choice, she is being named after my partners friend who sadly passed away while serving in the British Army. I wasn’t too sure on the name when I first heard it but it did grow on me after a few weeks and he also turned down every single name i mentioned, when I say close to 20 different names and he didn’t like any of them he was pretty much set on naming her after his late friend. The idea of middle names got brought up and he straight away said that his mum would be happy if we gave her his mothers middle name and I didn’t hate that idea but what I didn’t like is how he said it like he expected me to agree. I’ve never had an issue with his side of the family they are nice and friendly people very easy to get along with never had any issues, I told my partner that either I picked her middle name or she didn’t have one because he choose her first name, and also I’m not a huge fan of the middle name in question but that’s not the point. He straight away turned it down and said his mum told him how happy she would be if our daughter got her middle name and I just don’t agree with that I also gave him another opinion our daughter can have his mums middle name but she gets my last name and again he didn’t agree and then again I stated well she just doesn’t get one then if we cannot agree and he said how his whole family has a tradition where everybody must have a middle name. Am I being responsible with my arguments or am I not being responsible whatsoever??

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fit-Conclusion-1119 on 2023-06-27 20:41:06+00:00. *** I 27f got married to my husband 29m last week. I asked my friend from university Ava 26f to be a bridesmaid. I grew up living with my parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as my family were very strict and traditional. While I don't agree with most of their ideas, I do follow them to avoid arguments. My parents don't share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported me, but do ask me to respect our extended family's policies on dressing and culture.

Ava is a very passionate feminist and I know she wouldn't agree with some of my family's policies, which is why before the wedding I told her to please not say anything at the wedding and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to our group of friends. She agreed and said she was coming to support me.

I picked peach as a dress colour for all my bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as I didn't specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months notice. I only asked for the dress to be modest as my wedding would include some of my extended family. Ava said she was getting her dress custom made and never showed me a picture as it was still getting made. At the wedding, she comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress. My MOH said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to me anymore, but I genuinely don't think I am in the wrong.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Early-Tree-8225 on 2023-06-27 20:31:35+00:00. *** I (45f) have two daughters a NT 18 year old who will be going to college in the fall. And I have an autistic high needs nonverbal daughter (16f).

Due to severe behavioral issues we had to make the gut wrenching decision to place her in a group home when she was only 12. However we bring her home every other weekend, her birthday, and all holidays. She's done a lot better but still isn't perfect and dare u admit can be a handful.

It took me a while to catch on to this "trick" but I've been noticing since my eldest daughter's 18th birthday 9 months ago she has been "busy" (plans with friends, boyfriend, picking up shifts at work etc, citing that'shes 18 and can come and go as she pleases "doesnt have to listen" to us etc) always seem to happen the weekends her sister is home, and on weekends (now weekdays as well since it's summer break) when her sister is not home she is mysteriously around more.

I told her how important family is for people with developmental disabilities; and since her father and I are paying for her college in full we expect her to be apart of her sisters life if she wants us to continue paying for her college. So since it's every other weekend she has to spend atleast one of those weekends at home with the family and spend time with her sister, I noticed her avoiding her sister and that's not okay with us. And if she refuses we will not pay for her college.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmptyPossession4068 on 2023-06-27 19:23:43+00:00. *** This screams helicopter dad or even AH but here I am regardless. And please, if you have any idea of what it sounds like my son might have, please please please let me know in the comments. His doctor won't evaluate him without going through the school and school is over.

My wife and I have my niece (10) every day from 6am to 4pm while her mother sleeps from working the overnight. We have 2 kids (12f and 6m). Now, as you've gathered, my son has issues. He is so quick to anger. Like he has absolutely no emotional regulation whatsoever. He's off the walls entirely. He's always running, jumping, climbing on things, hiding under things, making animal noises (like dinosaur noises), etc. Even if he's on his tablet. He will be super involved with his tablet (the only thing that keeps him calm) but he will make squawking or screeching sounds randomly. Like stimming! I guess. But like, even if he is having a fantastic day, all it takes is one super minor trigger and all bets are off. My wife is a fantastic mom. She can usually calm him no problem. But my niece is absolutely a trigger. She purposely makes him feel like he isn't included or she doesn't want him around, but she will make sure to manipulate my daughter in to not including her brother too. It's been causing one too many freak outs.

Yesterday I absolutely had enough because I have openly told my niece to cut the shit on more than one occasion and she won't. She will wait until I walk away to start shit talking me to my daughter and then will get an attitude and start bossing my daughter around and still not include my son at all. My daughter is sweet as a peach without this girl around and there's no issues usually. But yesterday my niece wouldn't stop so I told her to stay away from my kids. Told her to go play by herself. I told my sister what happened when she picked her kid up and she was pissed at me because "it's not my kids fault that she can't tolerate your son and his behaviors. You're putting too much on her." I told her that it's one thing to not have tolerance and a completely separate issue when it comes to being a bullying asshole. She said I can no longer watch her kid (good) but now my family is ganging up on me.

ETA: my daughter doesn't like my niece, nor does she want to hang out with her (she's asked me several times to not have my niece here) but even if she did, that has nothing to do with my post. Please stick to the question. Maybe I should have clarified more: my son does not even need to be near my niece. She has gone out of her way several times to go to him while he's on his tablet on the couch to poke at him and cause tension. My son DOES have issues but he's not always the one causing them.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Educational-Bat3496 on 2023-06-27 17:58:45+00:00. *** I (19F) am a student in college. I moved away immediately from home at 18 into college dorms. My college is only about 2 hours away, but in a different state. I usually come visit my parents every weekend if I’m not working, and i come home for the summers. Here’s some background on my cat, Lucky. Lucky was a feral cat I rescued from our very wooded backyard, and I instantly grew attached to him. One of the hardest things I had to do was to leave him while I went off to college, but I knew it was best for him as he had already adjusted to my house and the other animals inside my house. Here’s where the story starts.

I was heading home on my two hour trek this weekend, and as I walked into my house, I instantly called for my cat Lucky. He usually comes running to me after entering the door, but today he did not do that. I looked quite literally everywhere. All of his favorite hiding places, his cat trees, my bed, literally everywhere. I then went to go ask my parents where he may be, and that’s where I met my parents at the kitchen table looking upset and very guilty. Instantly I asked what was wrong, what happened, if everyone was okay, etc. My parents then proceeded to tell me that my cat, Lucky, has died earlier that week. Appalled, I asked why they had not called me, texted me, or even made a mention at any point. They told me it was a very hard conversation to have over the phone and that they didn’t want to disrupt me during my “busy season”. Instantly I was upset and I ended up balling while yelling at them. I was seriously so upset, especially because they know I would have dropped anything I was doing, to drive home and see him in his last few days. After I had calmed down a little bit, I asked what he had died of, and all they said was old age and that they didn’t do an autopsy. That confused me because my cat was only 6 years old, and he hadn’t had any previous health issues or concerns. Slowly I tried to accept the fact that he was gone, but then I had to ask the most important question. Did they cremate him? My parents knew I wanted him cremated so I could have a type of jewelry made, or just some type of memorial. It was very important to me that they listened to my wishes, but that idea went completely downhill when my parents looked at eachother, and then at me, and shook their heads. Now this would’ve threw me over the edge, but as I went to leave out of anger, they yelled that it was just a joke and he’s still here. Instead of walking back to them, i just walked out. As I went to drive around, I got an abundance of texts from both my parents asking me to come home.

They now are saying that I am petty and being soft.

What do i do now? AITA for ghosting my parents and not coming home?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/apple_blossom320 on 2023-06-27 17:15:55+00:00. *** My boyfriend of eight years got into a car accident this summer. He was in a coma for several weeks before he passed away from the injuries. He was my first love and soulmate and I'm still grieving and finding it hard to get through each day.

His birthday is next Friday and his friends and family are planning to give him a heavenly birthday party. My boyfriend was a happy and cheerful guy who loved to have fun and was very social with everyone, and so his friends want to throw a real college type party with loud music and drinks and dancing. I don't feel like I'm ready for that just yet, it's only been a month since his passing and it still feels like I haven't woken up from the nightmare. I’m still not sure what’s better, to be distracted or let myself sit in the sadness. All I know is that I want to spend the day alone. I want to keep things simple and revisit some of our favorite places or do something we used to do together. I want to bake him his favorite cake, maybe look at some photos and light him a candle. I want to visit his grave and tell him how much I still love him and miss him.

I've told his friends and family that I don't feel comfortable with the idea of having a party like that, that it's way too soon for me. I' told them that they can have a party if they want, but that I won't be there. They argued that my boyfriend wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, that he’d want me to have fun and throw him a big and noisy party, and that I'm just selfish and disrespectful.

WIBTA for not going?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Comfortable-Air-1140 on 2023-06-27 15:50:32+00:00. *** My (m24) girlfriend (f24) recently became interested in photography after being gifted a camera. At first I thought it was great she found a new hobby and was supportive of it, but things have gotten a bit much.

Whenever we go out anywhere, she brings her camera and stops every minute to take photos of flowers, people's houses, street lamps, rubbish, literally anything. It gets annoying because I always have to wait for her to stop taking photos, or if I walk on eventually, she acts like she doesn't even notice and makes no effort to walk alongside me. It's also pretty embarrassing when she's stood outside someone's house for five minutes trying to get a perfect shot, like if someone did that outside my house I'd find it creepy or think they were planning a robbery.

She also is trying out street photography where you take candid shots of people. I understand it's a legitimate type of photography but it makes me uncomfortable when she takes photos of random strangers when she's with me. She is not very discreet about it and when I ask if she's concerned about people knowing she's taken their photo, she just says she's legally allowed to do so. That may be so but I find it a bit rude or weird to do it without their permission especially when she posts the photos on an instagram account.

I told my girlfriend what I thought the other day because I just wanted to run errands with her without always stopping so she can take photos. I told her there's nothing wrong with her hobby but that its getting a bit annoying when we are out together. She got really upset, saying she's found something she's passionate about and wishes I took more of an interest. She also thought I was mocking her which wasn't my intention.

She is being withdrawn and distant and I feel I was a bit harsh. I don't want to stop her from doing something she enjoys or put her down but at the same time it was just getting a bit frustrating. Am I an unsupportive asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Disastrous-Tar0 on 2023-06-27 14:13:35+00:00. *** My (23f) friends and I had a day out at the beach on Saturday. We each brought our own lunch plus barbecue stuff for dinner and snacks to share throughout the day.

The problem was my lunch. I brought leftover rabbit curry (in my cuisine we either grill rabbit meat or make it into a curry) and rice. One of my friends said it looks very good and asked for a taste.

I told her it’s rabbit, and she said she didn’t want to anymore. After she said that, one of the other girls said that she’d like to taste some because she’s never had rabbit before so I give her some. She really liked it.

But my friend started saying she was taken aback by the rabbit meat because she lost her pet rabbit recently so she wasn’t mentally prepared to face someone eating it. She was also upset that I was “passing it around” (I only gave some to the one person that wanted it) like it’s “some sort of delicacy” when the rabbit “could have been someone’s pet” (it wasn’t).

I said I’ve been eating it as a kid, and it’s quite a normal dish where I’m from. It’s not really a “delicacy”. We moved past the topic but the mood was still a bit off. She only spoke one liners to me for the rest of the day.

I messaged her yesterday and she said she’s upset with me because I doubled down and said rabbit is a normal thing to eat instead of sympathising with her.

I think she’s just really upset about the death of her pet but I don’t want to act like I did something horrible when I don’t believe I did.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CarrAndHisWarCrimes on 2023-06-27 14:41:32+00:00. *** I love my wife dearly but a very common cause of tension in our house is deciding what to have for dinner. Last night was one of the more emotive of the occasions and led to a minor falling out.

From the moment my wife got home until the eventual climax of the evening our family (and by that I mean my wife) had two dilemmas, 1. she was hungry and 2. She has no clue what she wanted.

As per standard operating procedure I went through a list of dishes I could make her with the ingredients in our home, from shredded chicken pittas, to homemade pastas I went through a myriad of dishes and cuisines (all of which I know my wife likes) for all to be met with the same constructive feedback of “no”.

I resorted to family protocol two, by opening uber-eats and browsing all the takeaways available, this was met by the same level of useful feedback.

The time is now 20:30 and we’ve both descended into the realms of hanger. My wife decided to take it nuclear and drop the “I’m not hungry. I don’t want anything” (this is a lie)

At this point my wife has retired to the bedroom and I have retreated to kitchen to throw something together to save our marriage.

This is where the true dilemma begins to arise. I found some Korean style chicken in the freezer so decided to make an egg fried rice vegetable medley to accompany it. In the process of this I used two eggs. However the eggs I used were “the nice farm shop ones” and not the other eggs available in the house. Which has left my wife with only 10 “nice farmshop eggs” for the week.

When I brought the meal up to my wife she was initially quite excited. Until she saw the golden glow of the streaks of egg buried amongst the rice.

My wife : “You’ve used the good eggs haven’t you ?”

Me : “Yes. Is that ok ?”

I could sense from the tone and my wife’s body language that this was in fact not ok.

We ate our dinner in silence and that was the end of our evening. She was still angry when I left for work this morning.

AITA ?

EDIT: My wife has now apologised and accepted she was a bit unreasonable. Thank you for the support, and thank you for the people that seemed to believe my marriage was truly on the line for an Egg 🥚

I’d also like to thank all the people that seem to think the opening line of “a common cause of tension” means I have this argument every day of my life. I do not. My wife is usually a very lovely lady. We all have bad days..

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Contact8682 on 2023-06-27 17:30:07+00:00. *** MIL is very, very, very in to outdated gender norms. Everything is either for girls or for boys. It drives us nuts and we (Me 38F, husband 42M, kids 9F and 11F) tell her so every time it comes up. During our weekly family FaceTime, she asked why our dog was wearing a pink color (full disclosure, it’s red but quite faded). My husband said “it’s red” and we moved on.

The kids and I think we should treat Willem to a hot pink, rhinestone encrusted number replete with bows and gems and whatever else so he can look extra handsome for our next video chat. My husband thinks this is dumb and petty but our dog likes to look fabulous and I just want the satisfaction of seeing the disgusted look on her face when the dog shows off his new bling.

So the question is…WIBTA if I indulged my kids and got the dog a tacky collar with jewels and sparkles just to annoy MIL?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/United-Afternoon-595 on 2023-06-27 15:22:51+00:00. *** I 33f have a friend Max 34m who is a single dad to Ava 6f. Ava's mum is not in the picture and gave full custody and rights to Max before she was even born. I agreed to help out Max with Ava and am very involved in her life. I will admit, I used to like Max which is mainly why I agreed, but it was just a crush, and I got over it pretty soon after but still help out with Ava. I get on very well with Ava and she calls me her Aunt.

Since then, I got a more demanding job and have a fiance who I moved in with. His place is far from Max's and I find it harder to make time to meet Ava but still try my best to see her.

Now I am pregnant and my pregnancy is high risk. My fiance and I agreed that I would take off time until the baby is born and would think about going back later. I currently work freelance and pick and choose what projects to take on. I told Max for the time being I would like to reduce the amount of times I see Ava as I can't keep up with her in my condition. Max tried to negotiate dropping off Ava at mine, but me and my fiance firmly said no, he works long hours and I can't be there for her one to one. Max and I still share the same friend group, so i will see Ava sometimes socially, so it's not like I have cut her out my life.

Max is calling me TA for not helping look after Ava and that I am essentially abandoning her and I have put him in the situation of explaining this to her. I feel bad for not being able to be around Ava as much, but currently have very little energy and have stuck to my decision.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Savings-Basil2035 on 2023-06-27 15:16:21+00:00. *** My SIL is very much so the "if there's meds to help, take all of them" type. This ranges from OTC meds to narcotics. The type who tries giving you her prescribed tramadol if you say you have high anxiety that day and gets offended if you say no because she "would never give you anything that would hurt you". I've gotten in to it with her so many times because she thinks I'm ignorant for refusing to take meds if I don't need to. So, needless to say, she's had her kid heavily medicated since she was 5 (she's now 12) for her ADHD and if her kid so much as exhibits a single sign of energy, she's calling the doctor to up the dose because it's "not working anymore".

Now, since our son started school he has been off the walls and getting in to trouble for not sitting still and disrupting class. The school pushed for an evaluation and we agreed to it no issue. But where it was so close to the end of the school year and they kept pushing it out, the evaluation was never completed. We just pushed it out of our heads at this point because it's summer and made the decision to have him evaluated a month or two prior to returning to school so next year he will be all set to go with no issues. But where it is summer, our kids have been hanging out with SILs kid a lot, since the yard is conjoined. SIL has mentioned to me several times that I need to get my son medicated because he's "too much of a handful" and he "needs help". Most of these comments are made following my son screaming through the yards while the kids are playing tag or when he randomly stops what he's doing to start dancing. He does stim a lot so he squawks and randomly starts singing made up songs but it's in no way being over the top disruptive for a mid summer afternoon and it in no way affects anyone other than my SIL. He's just playing.

Well, SIL came here yesterday and said she needed to express a some "tough love" and basically flew off about how we weren't helping our kid because we "refuse" to medicate him and help him regulate his emotions. I simply got up from the table and said "we are done here, you can leave". She kept pushing and she wasn't listening to my husband, who kept telling her to mind her business. So I said "just because you are a medication queen who would rather see your kid doped up rather than handle her does not mean we are those parents. Leave." My MIL called and said I was a "fucking cunt" for bashing my SIL for "doing right by her kid and is trying her best".

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitacelebnudes on 2023-06-27 15:40:06+00:00. *** My roommate used to hook up with someone a few years ago, and that someone has since gone on to become a celebrity. Roommate still has nude photos of this person saved on their phone from back in those days, and likes to show them to people as proof while bragging about having hooked up with this person.

Last week Roommate had their phone out and was showing the nudes off to somebody, and during the resulting conversation everyone started talking about how this celebrity has never done a nude performance/photoshoot/etc and so basically Roommate has the only known nude photos of this person in existence.

For the next couple of days after that, Roommate kept mentioning off and on that they could probably make a lot of money if they sold their photos to DeuxMoi or whoever. I kept telling Roommate that they definitely shouldn’t do that because it was basically revenge porn, and Roommate kept saying that they wouldn’t actually do it but then bringing it up again later. I didn’t like how much Roommate was talking about this and was concerned that they were actually going to leak this person’s nudes.

Finally the day before yesterday after Roommate mentioned it again, I asked if I could see their phone to do something and when they gave it to me I deleted the photos. Roommate later noticed that the nudes were gone from the album and flipped shit on me for deleting them, saying it was none of my business because it’s not like the situation would affect my life at all. It also turned out not to matter because apparently Roommate also has the nudes backed up someplace else, so all I really did was cause a fight.

Roommate has not spoken to me all day yesterday or this morning and is still mad at me for getting into their phone. I still completely thought I was in the right, but when I complained to my friends a couple of them said that I really should’ve just stayed out of it and that I can’t really blame Roommate for being mad that I went through their phone because that’s never okay.

But seriously AITA?

EDIT to clarify two things:

1- Roommate never claimed to be joking about selling the nudes, they were first talking about selling them but then saying that they'd never actually be able to go through with doing it, but never said that they weren't serious about considering it.

2 - the nudes were originally consensual.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Human-Advertising-64 on 2023-06-27 16:21:41+00:00. *** My gf and I took a vacation with our mutual friend and her boyfriend. We rented a car for the 4 of us and her boyfriend insisted on driving since he's driven in Europe before. We of course agreed to split expenses such as the cost of the rental, gas, mileage, etc.

A few days in, he was backing out of a parking spot and forgot that he was parked next to a concrete pillar and started turning the wheel. He hit the pillar and side of the car took some pretty severe damage.

We dropped off the car (it was one of those contactless services) and about a week later he got an invoice for 2000 euros for the damages. He wants us to split the cost with him and I've been refusing.

And just some context on the way he drives: Everytime he backs out, he puts it in reverse and slams on the gas and does a mini burnout...so we hit the pillar with some serious speed. If he was reversing normally, he would've had time to react or at least minimize how much damage was done. It was completely his fault, caused by his negligence.

I told him if a rock hit the windshield or he hit a random pothole and blew a tire...I'd split the damages with him because those are freak accidents.

He's obviously not happy about this and has since tried to pressure my GF to pay instead. AITA here for refusing to pay for damages?

Edit: forgot the insurance info. We got insurance and the damage was enough to max out the deductible.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Astronomer-1217 on 2023-06-27 16:04:31+00:00. *** My(24f) boyfriend, “Dan” is a chef. Because of this I end up doing most of the cooking for the two of us when we have dinner together at one of ours apartments. I’m not a professional by any means though.

My family makes a big deal out of birthdays. Every birthday has all 3 of my siblings and my parents present, every year. Each of us has our own food that we have every year on our birthday. I’ve been having this same food on my birthday since I was 5.

The past couple years I’ve had Dan make it for me. It’s a bit of a complicated dish and there’s a couple steps I can’t do myself.

My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and this year falls on a Friday. When I started making plans and everything for it, and just double checked that Dan had Friday night off and could make the dinner, he said he couldn’t make it this year. I asked why not and he said since it has meat in it he can’t eat it on a Friday(he is Christian). I told him he could eat something else but he refused to make it altogether and said I could either find another dish for him to make, he could make it without meat, or we could celebrate the next day.

I didn’t like any of these options, my family has a tradition and I know my parents would be upset. I called my mom and explained the situation and she says that she thinks Dan should just make it. Most of my family is on my side because they recognize the importance of this tradition and because I cook most of the time.

Dan still refuses and keeps shutting me down when I ask him to just make the food.

AITA for wanting him to do this for me?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Embarrassed-Jello353 on 2023-06-27 14:15:20+00:00. *** I (20f) graduated highschool in 2021. Things were still just starting to open back up for the world. My class had no graduation, no prom, no anything to congratulate us on graduating except a FB post that just said congratulations on my schools page. The only thing we did was a Saturday lunch that us students put together at our local state park.

My cousin graduated just a week or so ago and I couldn't bring myself to go to his graduation. He had prom, he had an actual graduation, he even had a sign that said congratulations made by the school, just like everyone else in his class. I knew I would have just brought the mood down so I did not attend, and I am not planning to attend his party either.

My aunt had asked me why I wasn't present at his graduation and rsvp'd no to his party. I told her that I was jealous and couldn't bring myself to go to these things because I was upset that I didn't get them. She called me spolied and that I had to realize that it is a different year and that I should be happy for him. I guess she told my cousin and a few others because I have been receiving text messages that there is absolutely no reason I should have said ehat I did and that being jealous is hideous of me.

I am happy for him, and I am glad he graduated, but it hurts me that my senior year was a bust and he got to do things that I couldn't. Or at least I'm more upset that the school did more for them than they did for my class.

AITA?

Edit: I have wished my cousin a happy graduation and have told him that I will bring him to lunch when pur schedules align. But I never said I was mad about my cousin getting a party and getting to do that stuff

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Odd_Night7363 on 2023-06-27 08:23:32+00:00. *** I (23 F) asked my SIL (25 F) why she needs her service dog and suddenly I’m the asshole.

My relationship with my SIL has always been kind of rough mainly because my relationship with my brother is rough. I’ve always been kind and respectful to her though. I’ve tried to ask her questions about her life and get to know her. She’s always been hostile towards me and rude for no reason. I continue to be nice to her and she continues to be rude to me. She’s been this way with everyone in my family, but her attitude is mainly pointed towards me.

Recently she’s posted pictures of her and my brother’s dog, but I noticed in the pictures the dog was wearing a service dog vest, which is weird because they adopted this dog from the shelter and no one told me about this, I had to find out from Facebook. It’s also weird because I’ve had friends with service dogs before and I know it takes years to train them, and they’re usually trained by professionals.

So I asked my brother why his wife needed a service dog because I wanted to accommodate her as much as possible and where their dog was receiving training. He told me that his wife was training the dog herself and that I should ask his wife myself why she needs a service dog. And so I did. I explained I’m asking because I want to accommodate her as much as possible. She said it’s none of my business as to why she needs a service dog. Now her friends are messaging me calling me an asshole for asking.

I honestly get it if I was a stranger to not tell me, but I’m family here. I’m trying my best to accommodate her and support her. Is there something I’m missing? Am I being the asshole here?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Seat6918 on 2023-06-27 15:00:22+00:00. *** Throwaway to avoid family stuff.

I (M32) have been with my girlfriend (F29) for 8 years. From the very beginning we have been childfree. My girlfriend isn't a big fan of kids, and while I love being the fun uncle, I love being able to give them back.

Some background - My girlfriend is incredibly introverted and suffers from anxiety. Because of this, she is definitely a homebody and prefers hanging out at home with our two dogs. She likes things quiet and calm and definitely thinks of the house as her safe space. I completely respect that.

I watch my 2 nephews and my niece, 7, 5, and 3, once in a while for my sister and brother in law. I always go over to their house to watch the kids. Partially because all their stuff and toys are there and it's just easier, and because I know my girlfriend wouldn't enjoy having them over at the house. Plus she didn't agree to watch them so that wouldn't be fair.

We've had some really lovely weather lately and my sister and BIL have been asking me to take the kids over to my place to watch them instead. They live in a townhome and don't have much of a yard while we are pretty lucky and have a pretty large backyard. I've offered to take the kids to the park instead if they want some outside time.

Neither my sister or BIL like this much. They say that they would rather have the kids in a safer fenced in yard to run around and play then at a public park.

It all came to a head this past weekend. My BIL called and asked if I was available to watch the kids. I told him sure that wouldn't be a problem. He, politely at first, asked if he could drop the kids off with me for a change. I told him no I would come to them. He got a little frustrated and said the kids really needed some fresh air and to get their energy out. I said Okay we can go to the park. He exploded at me and told me I was an asshole for never letting the kids come over. He said nevermind he didn't want me to watch them because I was too selfish.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/unknown_poppy on 2023-06-27 14:44:48+00:00. *** I married my husband 4 months ago. He’s never introduced me to his family before because he said things were complicated with them and he didn’t want them to ruin things between us. After we got married, he kept promising he would tell them but he continued to put it off.

The first time I met my in-laws was in the hospital after my husband was involved in a serious car accident. It was already a stressful situation and I didn’t know how to explain to them that he had been lying to them and that he didn’t invite them to his wedding so I told them I was his friend. My husband was asleep at the time but his best friend was there and he wasn’t shy about letting me know he thought it was my responsibility to tell them the truth and I was throwing my husband under the bus. At that point, it would’ve been worse if I had told them the truth and I felt it was something my husband should tell them himself.

After my husband woke up he had to tell them the truth since they repeatedly referred to me as his friend and he knew he would be digging a bigger hole for both of us if he didn’t correct them. He was mad I didn’t at least say girlfriend so it would’ve made it easier for him to explain. His family were upset with both of us but since he was hurt and I'm a stranger, I feel like they were mostly taking it out on me. My husband, to his credit, did try to defend me but he’s still mad over me saying I was his friend.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Valuable_Frosting812 on 2023-06-27 14:18:37+00:00. *** My (27) gf(24) has been working on a visual novel game as a side project for almost 2 years and recently finished it. She wanted me to play it but I initially declined since I'm not into visual novels or reading long stories but after she begged, I gave it a try and played for a good 15 mins. Now I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing and the art and it was a good start but I just got tired of reading and stopped. She asked what I thought and wanted me to eventually finish it and tell her what I thought about the choices and the endings but I told her I had no plans to. She looked shocked and asked if it was boring, I told her no, it's just that I'm just not into this type of genre and she knows im not into reading but asked me to make an exception this time since she made it. I got upset because I think she is being childish and wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want. After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, she hasn't talked to me. I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don't want to play it doesn't mean I dont support her. Some of my friends agree she's being immature but others think I should be more supportive. So AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Adept_Conclusion_551 on 2023-06-27 13:50:09+00:00. *** I 39f my husband Tom 37m and 2 sons 12m were recently in a house fire and lost our home but luckily we were all out the house when this happened. Tom's brother Sean 40m and his wife agreed to let us stay at his place with their kids while we sort out insurance.

I don't like Sean as he believes in a traditional gender roles in a household. We have had issues since he realised I would keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his business and my personal choice. He works full time and his wife is a housewife. When we had our sons, Sean thought I would quit my job as a doctor and become a SAHM. However Tom became a SAHD instead and then went back to work after our son went to school and doesn't share the same thought process as Sean. Sean clearly disproves of this and me and vocalised his thoughts about the situation.

I got Tom to speak to Sean and he has left us alone since, but occasionally used to make comments at holidays and birthdays about it which I ignored. They stopped when Tom returned to work and since then Tom says Sean has grown as a person. Tom and Sean are very close, and I would never tell him to stop talking to him, but I personally interact as less as possible with Sean. My sons' school and Tom's workplace is walking distance from Sean's house which is why I agreed to stay, and suck it up while we get back on our feet as it is temporary.

Yesterday was a very hectic day at work, and I was exhausted. My shift ended midday and I went straight to bed. Everyone was out the house; Sean and Tom went to work, the kids were at school and Sean's wife went to see a friend. Sean got home first and woke me up. I was upset and still tired and when I asked him why, he said I should make a start on dinner as it was getting late and his wife was out and not picking up her phone. Usually I do the cooking in the house with his wife, but I was upset that Sean had woken me up and yelled at him to not disturb me. I kicked him out the room and told him I was going to back sleep and he could sort out his own dinner.

When I woke up that evening, Sean told me that while I was under his house I needed to respect his house rules. I told him he could've cooked himself, heated leftovers in the fridge or got takeaway. Tom thinks that Sean did overstep by waking me up and making demands, but I shouldn't have yelled and escalated the situation. I don't think I am TA but I could've handled it slightly better maybe, but want to get someone else's perspective.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TomHuckleberry on 2023-06-27 13:07:23+00:00. *** My coworkers usually do margarita Monday every Monday. The same person usually posts in our group chat letting us know it’s still going on.

Last night, that person didn’t post in the group chat so I figured no one was interested that night. My partner and I decided to go anyways since Margs are super cheap and we didn’t have any dinner plans.

After my partner and I got our drinks and ordered food, three of my coworkers walked in and sat with us. Through conversation they told me that a former co worker of ours invited them out for marg Monday for a smaller thing as they are moving soon. One of my coworkers decided to post on the group chat letting other people know that people where there and to come on out.

Now I don’t know why, but the former co worker hates me. We used to get a long great and something suddenly changed to her hating me, always trying to get me in trouble and basically bullying me. The former coworker isn’t exactly emotionally stable and acts very childish. Anyways, she came like thirty minutes later and when she saw me she freaked. She yelled, “what the fuck is he doing here?” When one of my coworkers tried to explain what happened by former co worker wouldn’t hear it and stormed out.

Former coworker later sent me a voice note saying how much of shitty person I am for crashing her going away drinks and that I always ruin everything for her. She is now trying to spin this into me purposely showing up at the restaurant and purposely trying to ruin her evening. I should note that my coworkers came and sat by my partner and me. We would have been totally fine sitting by ourselves.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Time_Pin_1985 on 2023-06-27 12:56:33+00:00. *** My SIL (husband's sister- 29f) and her husband (34m) rent out our basement currently. They have the entire basement to themselves, with the exception of my laundry area. They pay $450 a month to be here and 9/10 they eat their meals with us as well (they chip in very little to food cost however). They ran in to hard times and needed somewhere to go 2 months ago and we opened our doors to them, despite me being ready to "pop". I had my daughter 2 weeks ago.

Since they moved in, my SIL will sleep all day (she works overnight shifts) and my BIL will come upstairs to my living room around 5-6am and take over the entire space. He will put TV on and then sit there with his laptop playing video games and he will not leave that living room at all until 8-9pm. My SIL even brings his food to him in the living room. The only time he gets up is to go to the bathroom or get himself coffee. Now, he's very much so a 50's style southern boy. This man does not lift a finger at all and has never so much as boiled water because that's a woman's job. He doesn't pull that shit with me but he does when it comes to my SIL (who works all day when he is unemployed due to a "back injury").

Anyways, I breastfeed my daughter and I refuse to be limited on my own space so I will absolutely go in to the living room and nurse my child. I make sure I'm not exposed. Damn near every time I go to nurse, he will be like "ion wanna see dat shit" (think southern hillbilly accent) or when my husband gets home he will say "she tryna whip her boobies out in my face 'gain". And I'm honestly so fed up and disgusted with him that I snapped and told him he's not welcome in my living room at all anymore and he can sit his stupid ass down in the area his wife pays for. SIL is trying to get me to change his mind because they don't have a TV down there and the plug in doesn't reach his laptop and sitting on the bed all day hurts his back but I refuse. I don't care how much discomfort it causes him. He grosses me out and his face makes me want to vomit and he needs to stay away from me completely. My husband is on my side, per usual. But it's causing issues for my SIL because her husband's just a dick in general. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Interesting_Try5005 on 2023-06-27 13:22:38+00:00. *** I'm 30f and I just had my daughter 4 weeks ago. I had an emergency C-section and recovery has been a bit difficult, as I've popped staples out a few times over stupid things like coughing. I'm very, very tired. My husband's boss only granted him a week off after we had our daughter so things have been a bit more difficult but he makes sure that I have everything placed out neatly that I need during the day and has even bought me a mini fridge and portable stove top for our bedroom so I don't have to get up much. He is super hands on when he's home.

Now, I don't mean to be a complete AH here but my SIL has been asking consistently to come over and "take the baby" off my hands so I can sleep. And honestly, I appreciate the gesture but I won't let her. She's the only one that I won't accept help from, for a range of reasons. I've known this woman for 12 years. She is severely overweight (340+), can hardly walk without becoming winded and when I watched her with her niece (my other SILs kid) she would be up walking around while holding this baby as a newborn and it was so unsafe. I vividly remember Sirena's head just flopping around. And now that Sirena is older (9) she tells everyone that she "basically raised her". It's a mental health issue she has because she can't have kids (she got an STD when she was 14 that sterilized her and she doesn't qualify for adoption or even fostering kids). So between her weight and being generally unsafe AND her trying to claim she's raised/is "basically their mom" to Sirena, I won't let her watch my kid for me at all and I don't want her coming here because the one time she did, she overstepped in more ways than one. Ie: everytime I said no to something she refused to take no for an answer because she "knows what she's doing". Like no Jackie, I don't need you to change my kids diaper and it's weird that you desperately want to.

Yesterday she showed up here at 6ish after my husband got home and said "where's my baby?" My husband told her now wasn't a good time because we had just gotten her down to sleep and SIL goes "well good thing my fat makes me feel like an ocean rocking, she will fall back asleep in no time". He said no, she tried grabbing the baby anyways. I flipped out and told her to leave and she says "I just need my baby fix since I can't have babies". So I snapped and said "you're not welcome here anymore. It's not my fault you can't have kids." She left crying and I do feel bad. My husband hasn't said anything to me about it but I think he's pretty upset I said it too.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tiny-Plastic-8840 on 2023-06-27 10:35:19+00:00. *** Around a week ago, my son (9m) and I (36 f) were having a movie night because it was my day off and my husband (37m) was working   So to round it up, about last week my son and I were scrolling through movies and shows, and Our Planet came up. My son then told me he wanted to watch the episodes about the sea.

My son watched it and seemed to enjoy it before going to sleep. My husband asked what I was seeing for movie night when he got home, so I told him what we had watched and we chatted about it for a while. I didn't really expect anything because he didn't look angry or irritated.

The day or 2 after, my kid enthusiastically told us that he no longer wanted to be a doctor and instead wanted to be a sea scientist (marine biologist) during breakfast. I was happy and gave him encouragement by talking about his potential and options. My husband attempted to be a little supportive, but he was a little stiff and cold.

After my son left for school, my husband told me that we shouldn't have watched the ocean documentary. When I was surprised and questioned why, he explained that he wanted our son to have a bright future and that I might have ruined it. Our son is on top of his grade and that I made him distracted to a honorable job. He then said I would be responsible for crushing his dreams because he wouldn't pay any of the tuition. I argued that he was still only nine and that dreams can change. I also advised him to support whatever career path he chooses. We argued back and forth and I got caught up in the moment and screamed at him to leave.

He has been staying at his mother's house for a few days, and yesterday I received texts from his mother accusing me of attempting to destroy the lives of my husband and my kid.

I acknowledge that I was a bit dramatic and that I overreacted when I kicked him out, but I still disagree and will defend against what he said.

Edit: My husband and I are going to talk it through but I will apologize for sure for my behavior, my son doesn’t know anything about this.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Big-Warning8649 on 2023-06-27 10:30:46+00:00. *** This might seem a little messy and complicated so I will try to be as clear as possible.

My dad and my mom had my older brother and me (both mid 30s). Mom died when we were 9 and 11. Dad remarried when I was 13 to his second wife Janet.

Janet was a widow with three kids from her late husband.

For the first year they had a typical marriage. They even had my half sister Katie in that time. But right after Katie was born, their marriage changed. Neither wanted a traditional marriage and weren't in love with each other, as both were still devoted to their late spouses. So they stayed married but chose to go by companions instead.

They slept in separate rooms. Did family things individually from each other except for with their shared child. Janet was not part of my brother's or my life really and dad was the same with her three kids. They would act like friends more than a couple because in reality that was what they were. They said they also saw it as lessening the potential burden on their kids one day.

From an early point both had made it clear that if they were to pass, they would want to be buried with their first spouses.

Katie struggled a lot with the dynamic. Now that her mom is gone, she is fighting for her to not be buried with her first husband so she can be buried with dad when he goes (dad has become unable to care for himself due to early onset dementia). Janet's other kids said no way and she goes in with their dad, who she loved, who was her real spouse. Katie asked me to help her talk them around and I told her I would not do that. That when dad goes he'll be buried with mine and my brother's mom, like he wanted and like we'd want too.

Katie told me it's not fair. It's like she doesn't matter in any of this. She told me I'm supposed to help her and support her in this and I'm refusing. That when she dies she'll end up being buried alone (she has often talked about never wanting to marry or have kids) and she won't be able to be buried with her parents and it isn't fair. I tried to offer her comfort but she told me I wasn't helping her change the plans and I could fuck off.

She's 19 and has suffered a huge loss so I am being compassionate as I can be. But she's mad and I don't know if I'm TA or not so AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sharp-Cabinet-7831 on 2023-06-27 06:05:45+00:00. *** I (33M) kind of started a fight at my wife (30F) over her wasting food. She and I had very different upbringings when it came to food. Her family had the disposable income to eat out multiple times per month, and her family would cook large meals (enough to feed an army basically), and when the food entered “leftover territory,” the rule in their house was whoever gets to it first gets to it. My family was much more money-minded, only eating out on special occasions and cooking just enough for one or two meals. Takeout was never shared, and if we had leftovers, it was equally distributed. Some would be surprised to learn this has caused a great deal of dispute in our marriage. My wife does the majority of the cooking, and she likes to order take in a lot, as we both have demanding jobs. Over our 10 year relationship, she has learned to cook in much smaller helpings as much of it would spoil. She’s not good about eating leftovers (the small of a lot of cold food makes her feel sick), so she tries to meal prep or cook just enough to cover 2 meals max as she knows letting food spoil irks me. When we have leftovers, I always let her know when her portion is still in the fridge. Typically she tells me to have it if I want it. She has said before that if she were truly coming back for it, she’d write her name on it or tell me not to eat it as she was saving it for later, but to my recollection she has never done that. I always tell her that the leftovers are her’s so she can have them, and we go back and forth like that in several rounds. The other night, we had leftover Chinese takeout (her leftovers, I ate mine). She asked me what I wanted her to cook for dinner and I reminded her that she has her leftovers. She said “oh yeah, hand it here.” So I gave her the container and I watched her dump it straight into the trash without looking at it. Wide-eyed, I asked her “what are you doing?” She proceeds to inform me that she has come up with a new system: if she tells me 3 times that I can eat her leftovers because she does not intend to come back for them, she will throw it out before it spoils. Apparently that was the 4th time I reminded her about the leftovers so that triggered the disposal. I got quiet to process the fact that she made this decision without talking to me about it, and finally I said she could have told me she was going to throw it out, then I would have eaten it. She firmly thinks that the statute of limitations expired as she told me 3 times I could have them, and she “could do with them what she sees fit.” I would have if I had known she’d toss them instead of conceding in eating them after understanding I truly didn’t mind her eating them herself. I feel like she truly hasn’t listened to/disregarded me feelings/upbringing with food. I told her “do you” and haven’t really talked to her since. So, AITA?

Tl;dr my wife has decided to throw away leftovers after she offers them to me 3 times and I don’t like wasting food

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LogicalSky6901 on 2023-06-27 12:27:51+00:00. *** My SIL lives in a fairly large 6bd farmhouse on 10 acres. We are building a home across the street and in the mean time, we have a camper parked on SILs property. The only time we go in to her house is to use the bathroom or shower (we have electricity in the camper but no running water). The rest of the time we are across the street building and our kids (14m, 12f, 8m) are with us helping. We pay SIL $180 a week to park our camper there, which is campground prices.

Late afternoon yesterday my SIL asked us to all come inside to talk and she pulls up her chore list, with my kids names added to it. Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, cleaning table + countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping cook meals (we do not eat with them), etc. She said "Does this work for you? I won't let anyone clean the bathroom because I'm the only one who does it properly." I immediately said no. My kids don't even go in her house unless they are showering or shitting so if anything, I'd make them clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house that they don't use. I'm not going to be making them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom, after they've been helping us all day with building our home. My SIL, who works all the time, says "the kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone and I always come home to a trashed house and I didn't before you guys started staying here". She's clearly not putting two and two together with the fact that her own daughter (12) has had consistent friends over for the past 2 weeks since school let out and her husband (46m) does nothing to parent. Which I brought to her attention. My kids don't eat her food at all either. I've made a point to preach to my kids about minimizing our foot print here for this specific reason (her trying to blame my kids for her trashed house).

My husband is saying that maybe I should just allow her to add the kids to one or two chores a week to keep his sister at bay but I've refused. We pay to be here and we do not go indoors at all unless it's for the bathroom, as I've stated. My kids are not going to be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom and I have since told my husband we need to create an outhouse system (on our property) so we don't have to go in there at all. He says I'm making things more difficult when in reality, I'm protecting my kids from being used. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawaydadskid on 2023-06-27 05:38:12+00:00. *** My (15f) Dad (38)had my oldest sister Bella (22) when he was 15 years old with her mother Satan (41). It was a traumatic time for him as Satan left the country pregnant and Dad followed her over, they broke up when he caught her cheating on him and Dad wasn't allowed to see my sister until she was 10 after my Mum (37) had been speaking to Satan for 4 years to try and establish a relationship.

I was 2 when I first met her after my Mum payed for her to come over to our country with her mum to meet us. My brother (14 now 8 months then) was in hospital when they came over as he nearly died the week before they were coming here from SIDS, Dad did CPR, he came out the day they arrived.

For relevance my mum had my two other sisters when her and my dad got together 19 years ago but Dad took them both on & Mum, my Dad and sisters Dad have always gotten along and their Dad still comes for dinners and I call him Uncle.

Anyway, when they came over they both tried to split my mum and dad up and said horrible things about my mum & brother & sister and asked my dad to choose them two or us, Dad chose us and they cut him off again - My sisters and mum were treated horribly by Bella and her Mum the week they stayed.

My sister Bella recently showed up and is living with us for a month now, I don't know why but she shouldn't be here. Mum has gone to stay with her parents as she doesn't want to cause any issues & wants dad and us to spend time with her & Dad has been quiet but my brother loves her. I told my sister she needs to leave because I heard mum saying she's going to leave Dad as it's to traumatic having my sister here to my Aunty & I told my brother everything my sister and her mum done when they were here and now he hates her and wants her to leave too and I told her she's not my sister or my dads kid legally so shouldn't be here.

Mum is upset with us for not trying to build a relationship with Bella and for making it hard for Dad and wants us to apologise to her and forgive her but Bella never apologised to my mum so am I the asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Potential_Beach6748 on 2023-06-27 10:10:06+00:00. *** I (30m) have been on edge lately, and the complications with my wife's (31f) pregnancy have only added to both of our stress, her even more so, obviously. After a long, messy delivery, my wife was having trouble talking and wasn't able to calm down, and was breaking down essentially. She was just wheezing and reaching for the baby for a few minutes, and a nurse said "You need to calm down. It's over, it's not about you anymore." After I got my wife to breath and relax a bit, I approached the nurse and said she should have a heart and understand what my wife was and is going through, she said "Oh, okay." in a way that made it clear she didn't care. So I just looked at her and told her to be quiet if that was how she decided she wanted to waste everyone's time. She said "If you'd let me do my job, I could help get you three on your way home soon. Is that alright?"

I said I was sorry but I wasn't going to let my wife be treated like that, and if this was a chore for her to deal with, she should rethink being a nurse. I saw her wipe a tear a bit later. I hurt her feelings and I feel bad. My wife says, while the nurse's comment was hurtful to her, she would've preferred I be more understanding. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Glass_Honeydew3415 on 2023-06-27 08:09:37+00:00. *** Backstory: I (28f) have been together with my now fiancée "Luke" for 10 years. We have 2 children aged 3 and 18 month. I am currently 3 months pregnant with our 3rd child.

My mum "Sandra"(48f) has recently had a baby with my bio dad, the baby is 2 months old. I don't have any sort of relationship with my bio dad as he left my mum when I was born leaving her alone with me and my older sister. We have a step dad Mark who i call my father, he has divorced my mum after finding out she is having an affair with my bio dad.

To the events: I have always dreamed of a romantic proposal which is something Luke was aware of. He has prepared and booked in a room in a high end restaurant, had it decorated for the event and also had his friend to take and edit a video of the whole thing (his friend is a professional and does fantastic videos). Luke also invited people close to us, so my friends, my sister and her wife, Mark and my mum. As this is a high end restaurant it doesn't accept kids under the age of 12 and has a warning about it on the website. Luke has also asked people invited to keep their children at home (the booking was made a good few months in advance). We have hired a trusted babysitter for ours. It is also important to note that he knew we won't be able to get married soon until our kids are older as I wanted them in our wedding and somewhat to remember it.

At the event we found out my mum took her baby with her instead of leaving him with my bio dad. When I have asked her about it, she said the baby is quiet and it is not her first child so she knows how to look after them.

Well, when the music started playing (it started rather quiet) and my fiance was ready to give a speech, the baby started crying. Luke has tried to carry on but nobody could hear him due to the screeching sounds the baby started to make, and I was feeling overwhelmed with it as my romantic proposal was getting ruined by my own mother being selfish. So I have asked her to leave.

My mum has tried to argue to stay and was creating a scene, but I ended up asking security to escort her out. The rest of the day went without issues but after the event was finished I have received dozens of messages from my mum and bio dad calling me an asshole for what I did.

Edit: paragraphs.

Also wanted to add, the child in question is not my mother's biological child. The child biological mother is one of my bio dad's girlfriends who wanted nothing to do with him, so my bio dad and my mum adopted the kid. My mother is also insisting her grandchildren to call the kid uncle, which is something me and my sister are against of (one of my sister's kids is 8 and therefore are older then the child).

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/77_mec on 2023-06-27 04:57:28+00:00. *** Let me explain.

I (m32) recently got Detroit: become human for my PS5 and my son (m12) wanted to play with me because it had robots in it. We had fun until my wife (f31) told us to stop playing and that it teaches kids to curse and that racial discrimination, child abuse and murder is ok.

I tried explaining that the entire point of Markus's storyline is that it isn't and she got pissed and starting saying how she gets to parent too and that he was her son too, so I turned off the game, told my kid to go play in his room and told her that if she didn't like it, she could leave the room and let us have our fun in peace. She told me I was undermining her and that I was being an asshole, then made me promise I wouldn't play it with him again.

So AITA? I don't think I am but it'd be nice to see other people's opinion on it.

Edit: so I agree that I should've asked and made sure it was ok, but I did not think it was a big deal as she watches GOT whenever she wants regardless if he's there or not. I don't complain because he knows that it's bad. I explained it to him and he understood.

Also, I was not trying to be a "cool dad", I was just trying to explain that the game didn't promote those themes. And my son was in his room when we were arguing. So I wasn't undermining her in front of him.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/anon_pokedude on 2023-06-27 03:37:03+00:00. *** My friend ("Jack") tragically passed away 6 months ago and his mother ("Lisa") invited me over recently as she was cleaning out his room. There was a collection/binder of Pokemon cards that she had planned on throwing out but I convinced her to instead give it to me.

Fast forward a month later and Jack's sister ("Elly") is angry at me for taking the Pokemon cards, despite her having no interest in Pokemon and having had 'first dibs' at my friend's old stuff. She's demanding I return the Pokemon cards, because she wants to sell them, so she can "use the money" to help out Lisa.

I feel torn because I had double checked with Lisa that Elly didn't want the cards and she assured me that I shouldn't worry. I've told Elly that as Jack was my best friend and that I double checked with Lisa I am going to hold on to the cards.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Any_Volume_4503 on 2023-06-27 09:51:36+00:00. *** Some years ago my sibling and I each inherited a large sum of money. My sibling spent it on a nice car, a house in a wealthy neighbourhood, a big wedding and some money to start a family. I tried going into investment and it paid off so I am now living a very comfortable life.

A few days ago my nephew (9) asked about inheritence in general since his friend had just inherited some money from a grandparent. He asked if my money would disappear since I don't have any children (it is known in my family I don't want any). Before I could say anything my sibling and their spouse told him that he and his sibling would inherit from me so when I died they didn't have to work and could just live off the money they got. I told them that all my money goes to different charities and no family is in my will. My nephew thought it sounded cool and asked me about how the money would be used. When he left the table to go play my sibling and their spouse were furious. They said that they chose to work less hours because they thought they didn't need to save money for their children because they would get my money one day when I passed. The discussion at that point didn't go any further as the children rejoined the table. It has spread in the family that all my money go to charities and I have gotten angry messages for the past few days. People tell me it's selfish that I'm not leaving any money for any of the children in the family and I value strangers and animal shelters over their children. My cousin's spouse is especially vocal about all this.

I give a lot of gifts often on the more expensive side. There is also a trust fund for the children that they get when they turn 21 and the parents know this. People either argue that I should change my will or say they don't want to get involved. My aunt and uncle are the only one who says it's my money to do with as I please. I guess I'm kind of robbing their children of finanical stability and security? Am I the ahole for not leaving money for the children in my will? (There is free healthcare in my country so they won't need money for that which was one of my main reasons for not including them in the will.)

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/accountaita on 2023-06-27 04:54:09+00:00. *** My sister Mia and I are usually close but this is really causing some issues. I didn't think I did anything wrong here, but now I don't even know and I'd like some third party insight. This happened in April.

(Also if anyone's curious I'm 22 and she's 28.)

Mia had a high risk pregnancy, placenta previa and some other issues. She eventually had to get a c-section a week earlier than expected, but the baby was stillborn, which was terrible.

I had my MCAT the day after Mia delivered, and she'd told me before that she wanted me to stay with her, we talked before they took her in and she was a screaming crying mess. I ended up leaving since I had my exam early morning, and I came back to the hospital as soon as I finished. I did hear the awful news that the baby was stillborn before the exam but I didn't go then.

So a few days pass and Mia's super pissed at me, saying I ditched her during the worst time of her life. I told her I was really sorry but I had to do my MCAT. I know she's going through a really difficult time, but she completely went off at me, saying I could've just done it another day and I thought some test was more important than her and her baby's life, and that I deserve to fail.

Mia's still saying I'm selfish and at the least, I could've just gone to the exam directly from the hospital and stayed with her the rest of the time. A lot of extended family know now, and some are saying what I did was terrible. My mom agrees with me, but is saying to just let Mia be because she went through a trauma.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tradwife1029 on 2023-06-27 02:33:37+00:00. *** My husband (25M) & I (25F) were together for almost a yr. My dad passed unexpectedly, we broke up, & 4 yrs later we decided to try again. My husband proposed on 2 year anniversary. My family was super involved in wedding planning & at first so was MIL. My husbands little sis/bro were going to be FG/RB. MIL and I came up with cute ideas for them. The day before my dress appts I fractured my ankle. The new date was Easter weekend/weekend before FGs bday. I now know MIL didn't come dress shopping because she didn't want me to out shine FGs bday.

My MIL got distant after starting new relationship. We met up w/ MIL & got on topic of guest list. It came out her ex-husband was invited to wedding bc my husband felt like he was a father figure in his life. MIL wasn't happy. MIL told her dad & next wk he called my husband to meet for coffee. He came home from coffee w/ grandpa & was basically a meet to convince us to not invite ex. MIL was supposed to be paying for rehearsal dinner & nobody else on his side was contributing at all where my side was giving us money to help pay for wedding/very active in planning. If MIL/grandpa was paying for catering/venue & wanted a say in who was invited is one thing but they weren't.

3 wks before wedding MIL says she will only be at ceremony. We didn't want any drama on wedding day. We say ok & tell her to be there 30 mins before ceremony. She asked if we even wanted her to come since she is only there for 1.5 hrs? We said of course we want her to come but she wanted to be there for ceremony & 30 mins before gives her time to do her hair/makeup on her own/would have less chance running into ex.

Its wedding wk. I call vendors for rehearsal dinner/wedding. I call restaurant for rehearsal. They show reservation canceled & was never paid. We were livid. We discussed the issues we had & we decided to uninvite her. We messaged MIL saying since issues with ex being there & rehearsal dinner being canceled w/o us knowing we feel its best she didn't come to wedding. She said it was a surprise. We asked why change location she had us pick out. MIL said we didn't include her in planning & my husband said she distanced herself/became all about her new family/forgot him. MIL denied & said my husband was ungrateful, took screenshots, & removed herself from chat.

1 wk after wedding, we find out MIL went on cruise w/ bf/kids leaving weekend of wedding. We don't know for sure how long she planned this but I work at same place as MIL & u can't request a wk off 2 weeks prior. She bragged to friends she had a trip when wedding was, mos before. We think she planned cruise w/ new family/not being at wedding mos prior. We don't think we are wrong. Are we?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sad_Subject2779 on 2023-06-27 07:53:12+00:00. *** My (25F) fiancé (28M) and I are planning our dream wedding but want to keep it small. From the get go, my fiancé and I both said that we do not want any children at our wedding due to a number of reasons.

1. We want to get married in the bush somewhere where wild animals roam freely, and the age limit is 16 and up. (This is non-negotiable because small children are at risk -Venue requirements)
2. We both know from personal experiences that one person always ends up looking after the children and do not enjoy the wedding.
3. We want to have just adults at the wedding so that we can celebrate the day properly.

My parent and siblings explicitly stated that my nieces and nephews will be REQUIRED to go to the wedding and I have no choice in this matter. My dad even went as far to say that if my nephew will not be allowed to go, he will then also not go. This broke my heart as I am the only girl in the family and now he doesn't want to even attend. My brothers said "I do not care what she wants, my children WILL be there". Take into consideration that all my nieces and nephews are under the age of 7.

My fiancé's family has been supper supportive and respects our wishes of not having any children at the wedding. They even made arrangements up until this point to have the little ones taken care of.

Now I am honestly considering not inviting my parents anymore because they are forcing me to do something that is not part of our wishes.

I love them al dearly, but I feel they don't want to make the sacrifice for me and my fiancé's big day. As I ultimately mean, it us getting married and not them.

So WIBTA for telling them that I will not be inviting them as they want to rather spend the day with their grandchildren than celebrate the day with me?

Edit 1: Forgot to add. My fiancé and I are paying for our whole wedding. Neither the in-laws nor my family us contributing a cent because it's always a one sided competition with my mom of "They gave this much and we can only give this and now we look bad" or stuff like that so we are avoiding this situatiom completely

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwra_defaultless on 2023-06-27 03:44:43+00:00. *** Throwaway account, because my siblings are here

Short thing, I (30F) was born in a poor country to a middle-class young lady from a conservative family. My bio-dad was a no show, so her parents threw her out of their house.

Now, I was born severely ill, and she was told the chances of survival for me were low. I understand she was on a hard spot. She turned for help to her then employers, who in turn connected her with their son, whose wife had infertility issues. They accepted the risk, adopted me, took me out of the country to get treatment and helped me recover almost fully. My adoptive mom passed away, and now its only dad, my grandparents, and me.

My bio mom though, sought out to my dad when I was 14, asking for a chance to reconnect with me, she said she was feeling guilty and she was in a better place both mentally and financially, my dad accepted kind of grudginly, and took me to see her that summer. There, we saw she had had three kids more, and one was barely one year older than me!, her parents didn't seem to mind, they had eventually forgiven her and allowed her back home, where she had safety for my siblings. My dad appeared to be really uncomfortable with that and took me back home barely two weeks later. I must confess I felt like I wasn't good enough for her, despite knowing that was unfair because of her circumstances at the time of my birth, so I kept in touch with her...Until she started asking for money for my siblings, making a lot of excuses. I took to sent her a part of my allowance, but eventually my dad found out and asked her to keep away from me.

Now, during my early 20's I got a FB message from one of my siblings, my other siblings followed soon and they started all harassing me about how she missed me, and how I had walked away just because they were not 'as rich as me', I must admit I felt pretty bad and agreed to reconnect with my mom so she wouldn't think I was looking down on her or something, but as the weeks went by she came up with this sad shit history about how she was ill, and my siblings work at minimum wages and she just can't work anymore, hinting she needed money...again. I lost it and told her I never wanted anything to do with her again, because I was just a money pouch for her, but I wasn't so years ago when she decided I was not worth her time, blocked everyone and moved on.

This week, it was an Instagram DM using my sister's account. Bio mom is claiming she's loosing her house and needs 15k to pay it off, I have the money, but I told her I just won't do it, I don't care if she becomes homeless, I am not her emergency fund. My siblings have started harassing me again, telling me how I'm too privileged to know what they are dealing with

I'm starting to feel awful again, so Reddit, AITA?