AITA for not caring about one of my employees pregnancy.
AITA for not caring about one of my employees pregnancy.
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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nunyabizz0000 on 2023-06-27 21:28:32+00:00.
So I had an employee come to me to let me know she was pregnant. My response, “okay”. She was taken back from my lack of interest and enthusiasm, and fellow employees also seemed bothered by my response.
So AITA bc I didn’t ask more questions, or congratulate the person on the pregnancy. I wasn’t rude, or mean… just very matter-the-fact.
EDIT: to clarify my management mindset… I care more about my people than the companies Bottomline. I believe work is not the most important thing in the world. I made and will make all the proper accommodations when the time comes. I aim to have the employees stress free and to spend the minimal time here while providing the maximum compensation.
You’re not an asshole per se, because you are treating this news as a professional, future knowledge of her going to need time off. She was telling you this information not from a professional angle, but from a colleague angle of a more personal angle to be excited with her. She thinks of you as a friend and coworker, you think of her as a business associate.
Not the asshole. But you could use more tact. Don’t be fake that’s not what I’m saying. But more than such a short response. I wouldn’t even say congrats! Because for some it might be a horrible situation, and want abortion. I would say.
Alright that’s a major thing in your life, Ill provide support as much as I practically can, and make all work place accommodations I also possibly can for you. Let me know if you need anything. Thanks for communicating this to me.
That is professional but also human and recognizing the seriousness of it, without also being fake excited for you. I’ve been through this exact thing.
Surely it is easy to judge how happy (or not) they are to be pregnant? Are they smiling?! If so, then a quick congratulations are in order, and maybe follow up with “when are you due?” No need to go overboard with all the extravagant promises about doing everything you possibly can - be careful about setting expectations too high if you can’t deliver.
Probably would have helped if you had started asking some of those questions then and there.
You're not the asshole, but you're also not the good guy either.
Ok, technically NTA. But-you’re in management. You should know that interpersonal relationships, common courtesy, and socially appropriate interaction are an important part of the environment you create for the entire office. As a manager, “ok” is the answer pertaining specifically to the job. But basic decent manners say you should have said “congratulations” at the very least.
It makes me wonder about what other basic courtesies you are neglecting to display to your employees if “congrats” is a stumper.