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vis4valentine vis4valentine @lemmy.ml
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Writer's lounge @literature.cafe vis4valentine @lemmy.ml

How can I write SA without writing SA?

Hi. Im a trans writer doing my lore for writing dark phantasy. I am inspired by many dark phantasy like Berserk and A Song of Ice and Fire, but mostly from real world history and in many parts of the world is very horrible to live as a women. How ever SA is part of some characters background but I I dont feel good actually writing it. Can I just skip it and be vague about it or there are workarounds? I dont wanna trigger survivors or make people drop it because if it.

Is not like im mentioning it all the time, my work is more like a collection of stories in the same universe that take place in different time periods and some dont have it at all, but it will be important in some.

Thank you in advance.

2
What's your most unpopular opinion about music ?
  • Some music is made by and for lowlifes, where I live is Vallenato, Campesina, Rancheras, Bachata, and 90%of reggaeton.

    Lyrics about asking for forgiveness after cheating, smoking, domestic violent (being the one that does the domestic violence), admitting to spike drinks and brag about it, simping for drug Lords, and women are nothing but a sex object.

    The people who listen to that music is just as you imagine them. Uneducated, sexist, wife beaters, going around in huge SUVs blasting that music outloud with no respect for anyone around then, they are the ones who start blasting the music at 1AM on a Wednesday and doesn't let anyone sleep in their entire neighborhood.

    People give me shit for this and claim is "culture" but I think there is such a thing as music for lowlifes.

  • What is your favorite 100% non political "just nice music" music artist?

    I'll start. System of a Down.

    Recently it seems like some people are JUST NOW realizing that Bring me the horizon is not Christian friendly and I wonder how many other artists can we put into the bag of "Wait, they were political this whole time?"

    70

    How old are you based on economic experience or position?

    Ill start, I never used a check. The only way I can get a house is waiting for my parents to die.

    84

    I broke up with him 😭😭😭😭😭

    I assume you have read my previous posts, I don't wanna retell everything.

    We went to my psychologist. First he went alone with her to talk, and after half an hour he got out and I came in.

    I told my psychologist everything about why I needed to break up with him. She understood and helped me through it.

    Then she let him in to talk, and I gave a long speech about the reasons why I had no choice but to end the relationship.

    I thanked him for all the good moments, all the love he gave me, for being so sweet, and that I didn't regret any of it. I told him that I still loved him and wanted nothing but all the best to him, and I don't want him to die because of me. It was way longer than that but I'm just not in the mood for writing a lot.

    He was visibly broken, almost crying, in silent the entire time. When I finally finished, the psychologist asked him to talk and he just said "no words" She told me that I was done for today and I left.

    We are not 100% done yet, I need to take my things out of his house, and his family still wants to be in contact with me and I'm more than glad.

    Is just... I wanted this, I had the chance to try to talk and fix everything, yet I ended it because I knew I needed to, he has hurt me for a long while after all, I don't wanna be trapped with him, yet I feel so bad right now. I hope I did the right choice. I hope I don't regret it. I'm sad and heartbroken. I Know he is even more heartbroken. But it needed to end. Yet I'm still sad about it. So sad. How long will I still be this sad?

    6
    I've been making my own Mead for a few months now. I'm absolutely loving it!
  • It tastes good so far. I hope I can let it age so long. But I will eventually have enough equipment to let some age for a year.

  • Does someone else has the feeling of bailing out before things "might" get better?
  • I guess I already know the answer but still need to process it. I think I still need measurement that I'm doing the right thing. Thank you. Yes I know I need to end things.

  • Does someone else has the feeling of bailing out before things "might" get better?

    This feeling has stopped me for a while. I already made a post here a few days ago about my feelings about breaking up. I haven't done it yet because I'm waiting will we have at least a session with my psychologist.

    The biggest feeling that keeps me doubting is that I may be ending things right before things get better.

    I am more than welcomed to live at his house, he knows I'm trans and accepts me, he will be fixing his car, and he will get a new job, so he will be contributing to the finances instead of relying on my money as he has done since the start of our relationship, but I feel like even so I can't continue the relationship.

    He had been physically abusive to me, he has confessed to me that yes, he is controlling and codependent, right now he is being sweet and his libido seems to have "come back" right after I told him I would break up with him, but he also told me that he would die without me, so now I'm feeling trap. I don't like it, I don't like feeling trap in a relationship just so he don't get depressed and die. Yes, he can give me some stability, but I still have my home with my mom and I might find that stability elsewhere. I feel like I don't need him anymore to be happy on my own. My feelings are changing, and also I for a long time thought wouldn't be able to find someone else, but a friend has confessed that likes me romantically. I won't cheat on him, they know that and comprehends my situation, but it made me realize I'm not unlovable. I'm also feeling sexy again on my own, in fact, I feel sexier than ever rn.

    But I come back to the feelings of "What if I wait a bit and things get better?" while also reminding to myself that I already know what my boyfriend can do when he gets angry at me, just for doing things that I love to do. Even on this "love bombing" phase, he is still so controlling, I changed my phone's lock pin so he couldn't look at it and started interrogating me about it at 4 AM.

    Has anyone had a similar feeling?

    4
    My boyfriend wants to try and fix things after I told him I was thinking about breaking up, but I feel things are not the same.
  • We don't actually live together, I haven't move in because he lives far away from my workplace and I live closer to it, and also because of the issues I told.

    No, he doesn't have keys to my house.

    No, he doesn't have guns (we don't live in america).

    Yes, he has been to the office I work at multiple times.

    Yes, I have my own place.

  • My boyfriend wants to try and fix things after I told him I was thinking about breaking up, but I feel things are not the same.

    This is gonna be a bit long. I'm 25, I'm a trans girl, my boyfriend is 25, he is a gay cis man.

    We have been together for 2 years and 3 months. At first our relationship was amazing, nothing to complain, so very loving and sexy and cute. The issue at the moment was his mom, a narcissistic mentally and verbally abuses woman who seems to have hates him since birth. After one year he moved out to a house that belonged to his uncle and another uncle was living there.

    Moving was cool, finally we were away from that woman, but his uncle was an alcoholic who drank daily and would get violent and loud when drinking. After a few months, we started avoiding that man while being in the house.

    In September of last year his mom died. That woman had serious health issues and was the typo of person that always had a cigar in her mouth, she refused to go to the hospital for an infection and died during an operation.

    We waited until another uncle of his came to our city in December, and he moved back to his mom's house. We thought things would be perfect for now, but now I had issues with him.

    Since we were still at the other house where his drunk uncle lived, he started to give me "affection" in hurtful ways, started with tickles, that at first were ok, but later the tickles became a form of punishment, and he has thick fingers and tried to "tickle" me so hard that it really hurts. One day I went to a concert, a local band's tribute to me favorite band. I told him I would go and asked if he would go, but he said didn't want to go, so I went alone. The concert was so amazing, but when I came to his place the next day, he was so mad, that pinned me to the bed, he immobilized me with his weight, and started "tickling" me so hard, that I was kicking and crying. Then he started doing something similar for things like promising I would be with him at 3 PM but arrived at 6 PM, or not having money for buying dinner for both of us.

    Then the biting started, it also started as something cute, but then he started biting me harder and harder, and then started to do it as another way of punishment.

    And he is so possessive, and very jealous. On top of everything, he didn't want to have sex with me in so many months I lost track of when was the last time we did something.

    This week I traveled from my city to the capital city of my country, some people doesn't like the city, but I do, and ended up staying a few days more than planned, and his uncle was so kind to let me stay in his apartment and help me move around, and in the end he went back to my city with him in his car.

    My stay in the capital was amazing, except for how my BF reacted. He got so emotional, so mad, and we almost had a break-up but I had to salvage it because breaking up over text is ugly. I asked him to go to my psychologist together and he refused in a very angry way.

    I came back yesterday and went to his house to talk to him. I told him I was seriously thinking about breaking up and listed the reasons why. He started crying, got very emotional, and finally agreed to go to psychology.

    But he also said that I'm the only person he was, that he is codependent on me, and without me he would die, literally.

    We talked for hours, and got over a few things, but now I kinda feel trap because I still love him and don't want him to be depressed and die, but I'm not sure I can stay here, I feel like I need a way out. I can't exist to constantly comfort him when I feel like everything is different now and we have different life goals.

    I need some advice please.

    11
    Arabian people. What are some overlooked or not as well known elements of your culture that would make some incredible anime like powers?
  • Yeah. Thats why im trying to get some more direct inspiration and not just get the classic Japanese style kind of powers.

  • Arabian people. What are some overlooked or not as well known elements of your culture that would make some incredible anime like powers?
  • Any kind of anime like powers inspired by a culture. For example. A bird man with incredible force Sun fueled powers, or a Woman can turn into a Snake, or a silent assasin that confuses their victims with their whistling.

  • Arabian people. What are some overlooked or not as well known elements of your culture that would make some incredible anime like powers?

    Im looking for some writing inspiration. Im looking for not so known elements of different cultures that would make incredible powers.

    21
    Announcing Ibis, the federated Wikipedia Alternative
  • btw is this compatible with Markdown or WikiText?

  • Announcing Ibis, the federated Wikipedia Alternative
  • I think this could be useful for a project I have where school that are not connected to the internet could create their own wikis, however, I need to see how it develops.

  • Announcing Ibis, the federated Wikipedia Alternative
  • But... wikimedia is already self hostable.

  • offmychest @lemmy.ml vis4valentine @lemmy.ml

    My most pathetic moment. Crying while watching Lucky Star.

    TW: Depression, thought of self deletion.

    Hi, this happened many years ago.

    For context, I was studying law in my city. My mom pushed me very hard to go to law school and become a lawyer, like my father (whom she hates). I started when I was 17yo and at first it was going great. I was having high grades, getting along with classmates and even professors, and overall I was excited.

    Then the 2nd year came in. I had way more things to study, my sleep schedule went to hell, I started to get stressed out, and my grades started to suffer. It started with something mediocre, but normal, then with all my stress, the other grades started to also fall.

    With every bad grade, I was spiraling down and loosing my confidence. I started to get depressed, I was feeling shame because my professors and classmates had high expectations on me, and I felt like was failing them.

    I was so depressed, to the point that I couldn't concentrate in class anymore. I was also falling asleep in class, and because of that my notebooks were an absolute unreadable mess.

    I ended up failing 3 classes, with 2 I would have to repeat the year. So yeah, one of my worst fears became true, I had to repeat. But I couldn't accept it, I refused to tell my mom, with whom I was living and was still the same helicopter parent she was my whole life. She always demanded that I showed her my grades, since at first my grades were good there was no problem, but when I stopped showing her, she started to lose her mind. I didn't even tell her that I had lost the year, I was scared of how she would react. She ended up finding out, because she asked a friend of her that was a math teacher in the same university but in another career to tell her my grades, using his access to the university database. When she found out we had one of the worst fights we ever had that made me cry for hours.

    I didn't want to go back to the university, I was too ashamed, but she signed me up to repeat the year, with only the 3 classes I failed.

    When I started the year some of my classmates were seeing the same failed classes as me. They reassured me that "it just happens" it I had nothing to worry about, but I was just too ashamed of myself.

    That year my depression got worse, I was at the point where I didn't know what the professors were saying because I was too busy in my mind thinking how much I wanted to die. "I could just jump from this window and end it, maybe I could just drink Bleach" were daily thoughts.

    At some point I stopped trying to study, because I knew I would just fail.

    At some point I found an online college that also had a law school. I though, "that would be a nice option to continue studying while dropping out of here, and is way cheaper". I told my mom about this and she went ballistic, she wouldn't let me go to an inferior online college and said that I was a failure, that I will always be a failure because I chose to be one, like my father.

    Now, for the title. I was in desperate need of some escapism, and tried to find animes that were just chill and didn't require me to think too much. I found Lucky Star, a simple slice of life anime with tons of contemporary otaku references. I tried not to watch it in one go because it's a middle sized anime. For a while, it made me forget all my problems, just chill and relax, and sometimes laugh. I felt comforting and welcoming. It gave me a warm feeling that I was looking for.

    It was like 11 PM one night and finally reached the last chapter of Lucky Star. I still wasn't ready to let it go, but I was expecting to see how it was going to end. Just when it ended, I was enjoying it so much, and then my mom came out of her room. At the time my room was right next to hers. She was enraged, because I was still awake late at night and I had college tomorrow, she said I was a failure and then went and unplugged the router and modem and told me to go to sleep.

    I started crying, for a while this series had made me forget my problem, and then comes my mom and ruins it for me. I was watching it from a not so legal anime streaming page, and the only thing I could do was replay the last portion of the episode that was cached in my browser, and keep crying, this time I really didn't want to let it go. I was crying so hard over Lucky Star, and kept crying for at least 2 hours. I was too scared to just get out of my room to plug the modem and router again because my mom could be waiting to keep scolding me.

    In the following days, I felt so pathetic, I was in such rock bottom that I was crying while watching Lucky Star.

    That year didn't end well. At one time, instead of going to my final exams, I just went to watch Avengers Infinity War, for the second time on theaters. I failed the same 3 classes again.

    This time I got a condition called RR, which mean you failed the same year twice, and are banned from the university for I think 3 years until they let you come back.

    My mom still couldn't accept that I was going to drop out, and kept berating me for it. Until this day, everytime I have something cool or great in mind, she reminds me that I'm a drop out. Everytime she sees someone around my age succeeding in life, she reminds me that I'm a drop out. She wont let it go until I graduate from something, but I still can't recover, I can't be put in front of a test because I black out, can't concentrate, and perform badly. Everytime I enter a school, university or something like that, I get anxiety, I can't be in a classroom because I feel so much anxiety. I have no plans to get a degree on something.

    Thanks for reading my pathetic story. This happened many years ago and I'm in a better place now. I still have my mom in my life but when I move out I plan to limit contact with her.

    0
    Does the quantity of lawyers actually makes a difference?
  • Lawyers who has tried to use AI so far had lost their cases miserably.

  • Does the quantity of lawyers actually makes a difference?

    When they say that "they have an army of lawyers" or that Disney has more lawyers than animators and things like that, do they tho? Is an army of lawyers really effective? Do companies actually have an "army" of lawyers to redact and sign documents?

    30

    What could realistically eat a "Vegan level 5"?

    Not eat anything that casts a shadow.

    It's from the Simpsons if you haven't seen it.

    17

    What is the worst thing that has ever happened in the Warhammer 40K lore?

    I'm very new to the Warhammer 40K universe. I found a group that plays role games and I wanted to join that I felt I needed to learn the lore first.

    I've been binge-watching lore videos on Youtube and BTH im hooked, I can see how similar it is to franchises that came after and were inspired by it, but at the same time is like nothing I've seen before. I actually love that there is not such a thing as a "good ending".

    I wanted to ask people who know more about this universe than me, what is the worst thing that has ever happened in the universe? The most tragic event? The most disturbing one? I really want to know and read about it.

    I wanna read some books but seems like ebooks are not available on my country, on Kindle it seems like they were purged and on Kobo maybe I could by them with a VPN or something.

    18
    Beer and Wine are vegan drinks.
  • I told a friend of mine I was making Mead and she told me that is not interested because Mead is not vegan. I really forgot that she was vegan and then I started thinking "People usually make fun of vegan food, but beer and wine can be considered vegan (with the exception people has already pointed out) and those are fun drink"

  • What is your most embarrassing "ate the onion" moment?
  • I'm not sure how well known it might be, is when you take a The Onion article seriously.

  • What is your most embarrassing "ate the onion" moment?

    A few days ago I shared some news that the Eurovision song from Israel would be named "Your land is mine now" to later realize it was from an onion kind of website, lol.

    I hope I'm not alone in this kind of f'up.

    102

    Can I just convert to Judaism tomorrow and get a free vacation to Israel?

    I know Jewish people are granted some special right to visit the state of Israel, and some companies organize free tours for Jewish born or living outside.

    But does that apply only for people ethnically Jewish that come from Jewish families? Or also applies to new converts to Judaism?

    Like, not literally converting tomorrow and demand a free vacation to Israel, but like, converting and in a few years wait and see if they offer me a free vacation to the country to visit the most iconic places of Judaism?

    How does that works?

    edit: I'm a hispanic atheist with no Jewish family that I know of, and I'm not interested on joining any religion, this is just a hypothetical case.

    44

    What is the name for those in between a Lolcow and a horror cow?

    Like, those who are milked for laughs, but also constantly are like "Oh no, what did they do now"? without reaching the cosmic horror levels of a horror cow, even if they have done fucked up shit.

    For example: Onision, iiluminaughthii, Dalas Review.

    4