How can I write SA without writing SA?

You can not tell the reader what happened but instead show a character's reaction to it. Let the reader fill in the details you suggested but did not explicitly write.

You can also 'cut to black' in a dangerous situation, again asking the reader to fill in the blanks. If/when they see the character later, what's important is that they survived and escaped, and again the details you offer help the reader fill in the ones you didn't.

Third technique is to have characters dispassionately discussing what is to or already has occurred and show that they are unconcerned with the dirtier aspects of the war or culture in question. Now the brutalities you've suggested are both anticipated and accepted by certain powers.

I've had similar problems writing for my d&d campaign. I want dark forces, but I also want a place of justice that is in danger. Something for the players to defend.

And I've never had to turn to SA. Yes, it happens in the world but I'm not going to turn to it for shock value.

Once I got dark enough to write about what a hag did to be 'gifted' a mortal child, and it was incredibly effective to be so gory and explicit after being vague about so much prior.

Holding back the details can be frustrating, but then making the reader swim in them after all the hints is a good payoff. And if done well you still aren't writing the assault itself but the preparation and aftermath, which is still bone chilling enough.

(In my game one of the characters was the hag's son, which he had only recently learned. The payoff for him was learning exactly how he was conceived.)

What about metaphor / allegory?

I love what pronell said and you could go that route! Although I'd also like to suggest going allegorical as an option.

There was a poem I read, which used a snake bite as an allegory for SA. I can't seem to remember the name. I think it was by Francesca Lia Block although I'm not certain.

Depending on why you want to write that as part of your characters story you can adjust the allegory. If its about the abuse of power and the effects it leaves on people that snake allegory would do you well.

If its about being realistic, that won't work. Unless you want to make it like an adjusted memory. Smth the victim doesn't wish to remember and hence remembers smth else instead.

Off the top of my head:

• A rose losing it's petals to represent loss of innocence/ beauty.

• Trespassers destroying someone's garden, a violation of boundaries.

• A painting that's torn, destruction of ones sense of self.

Good luck, but before you make your decision I suggest you make sure you know why you want to write about it. That'll help you make the correct decision for you.