Thought it was a new distro. Now I'm disappointed.

No, they use PayPal instead of checks now.

I had a roommate who was in med school. He wanted to be a psychiatrist. His surname was Carver, so naturally he became a surgeon.

Their punishment is that they shall face a firing squad... While wearing bullet proof vests

Must run Windows 95

Windows was the enshittification of DOS.

They contacted it out to Missippi.

Something about a sniper in Dallas sounds familiar...

I can imagine Lockheed doing it to find skunkworks, but no so much for Boeing

If it's not run by the ghost of Hugh Heffner, then it's not the real thing

Sounds like a slipping serpentine belt.

I was going to comment that Doc Ellis would be proud.

Recipe?

I don't see many details.

They probably saw ALL the details

Having lived most of my life in Florida, the only time I emptied my lawnmower in the winter is while mowing my lawn.

That's the Beester Bunny.

I don't have any of those, so I'm not qualified to comment.

That's not how testicles work.

Yes, JD Vance lied about abortion, and no, you shouldn’t trust anything he or Donald Trump says about reproductive rights

Not promoting him to Jedi Master.