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I have to teach my daughter different things than my son
  • being perennially excluded from parents group, kids activities, volunteering, coaching and other social connective activities because you're a male parent and might accidentally sexually assault someone

    losing multiple male friends to suicide, and seeing society handwave it away as being less important than any other form of death, despite its incidence being 10 times that of homicide

    being objectified as inherently dangerous, simply for having a penis, and worse still understanding why

    starting each day trying to be good, and do good, and that still never, ever being enough

    Why participate?

  • Iron (and glory)
  • Hey so what happens to unused blood bank blood? Like the red blood cell stuff not the other stuff

    I heard it has a life of about a month or so, so I assume it either goes to further research or it's destroyed

    If yiu could process blood otherwise intended for destruction, at the scales at which blood is donated in the us, I'd have thought it would be reasonably doable

  • nuanceposting
  • The reason I say in person is because if the amount of information which is transmitted via direct conversation is orders of magnitude higher than through eye contact, tone, language and body language.

    If you and I were talking right now, I could maintain eye contact, rotate my shoulders so I face you, position my head in a way that says I'm listening, use my voice to indicate that I'm contrite, or uncomfortable, or supportive.

    It can be excruciatingly uncomfortable for people who are used to having virtual tools abstract away the hard parts of interaction. But that's exactly what (in this case) women are saying they feel. They feel, in the real world, they're not safe. To me, the weight of that comes from a direct interaction rather than a news article or twitter post.

    My opinion etc

  • nuanceposting
  • I think it has to happen in person.

    At the heart of this is the unfortunate fact that nuance is lost in online discussion. The reason that the bear scenario is so notable is it is so polarising. "yes! That's how I feel!" vs "you're reducing me to a threat"

    An honest and direct conversation between two peers is far more likely to have a lasting effect. Hearing what the lived experience is directly from the person who's experiencing it is far, far more more compelling than the stark bear statement.

    I don't feel unsafe most of the time. But I have felt unsafe and vulnerable before. Thus when a female colleague told me about being followed by a guy in a park while walking her dog, and feeling torn between straight running away and keeping her pet safe, it resonated directly with me. I could see her reliving the experience and see her distress. She shouldn't have to go through that. It's not fair.

    That conversation resonated far more completely than the bear tweet.

  • nuanceposting
  • It's a lot easier to identify with the bad guys if you're assumed to be a bad guy.

    "Women think I'm more dangerous than a bear? What the hell? I never did anything"

    Followed by

    "hey what this guy on YouTube says is true, women sexualise themselves, I mean look at instagram. This isn't my problem,."

    I know this is a bit of an over simplification but thought 1 is what I thought.

    I'm a bit older, tho and my second thought was - "but ive never felt unsafe alone with a woman, definitely have felt unsafe around some men."

  • InitialsDiceBear„Initials” ( by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (
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