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SquishedFly Squished Fly (she/they)

You're cute! Remember this.

Posts 2
Comments 23
Tell us one of your of your most Gender Affirming Experiences you've had :3
  • Probably the most affirming expriance I've had was when a new neighbor moved into our small apartment building and we got into a little bit of a chat. Some when in she asked me "oh, you're -neighbor with female name-, right?" I was, in fact, not that neighbor. What makes it specifically special was that I haven't done much as in voice training and my voice usually gives away that I'm born male. I still try to sound as androgynous as I can but it's reeaallyy hard.

    Since that story is quite boring, here are 3 other affirming stories:

    At an anime convention, I went into the men's bathroom to wash my hands and apply more black lipstick. Back then (and even now), the ladies bathroom almost sounds like sin to go into for me (thank you dad). To appear more fem, I wearing a very short skirt and a crop-top. It worked so well actually that some guy opened the bathroom door, saw me, IMMEDIATELY apologized and walked back out. He did come in again after looking at the bathroom sign and asked but ya. It felt so good finally not fitting in a space I was forced into for my entire life so far.

    A second public bathroom story ٩(•ᴗ•)۶. I was in Cologne (Germany) for a day because of a small event in the Bootshaus. On our way there, me and a friend of mine had to go to the bathroom, so we decided to go at the bathroom of the train station Köln messe/deutz (we went separately and guarded our baggage and stuff). In any case, I walked in and someone instantly saw me and told me to get the fuck over to the ladies bathroom. The scared little bitch that I am, I just put on my male voice and said that I sadly had to go here... He left me alone after that but still very funny and affirming.

    And finally, a non-bathroom related story. Literally 3 days ago, coming home from a Pride parade, a train ticked guy asked me for my ticket. Since I've just been on a pride parade, I was dressed quite fem and slutty. Anyways, I gave him my ticket and ID. THE FACE OF THAT POOR GUY AS HE GOT VISABLY CONFUSED WHEN SEEIBG MY NAME AND OLD PIC. It was amazing. Nothing really happened and h didn't question it and just left me to my ways.

    What makes all of this even more euphoric of me tho is the fact that I'm not on HRT yet. I do have strangely high natural estro level which might have made me grow up quite a bit fem too. I guess I'm kinda blessed with the f1nnster gen, where I can look both quite masc and quite fem c:

  • Got to give love to all the blahaj, one by one :BlahajWavingTransFlag:
  • Where did you get it from, puppy? I totally don't want one myself because my current chocker that you theoretically could attach a leash or chain to breaks when you put pressure on it... Or so I'm told...

    Also I'm far too awkward to go to my local pet store and try on a dog collar to see if it fits.

    And of course I'm gonna call a cutie cute, you cutie >w<

  • meow
  • .>w<

    So much attention just for me ;w;

  • Got to give love to all the blahaj, one by one :BlahajWavingTransFlag:
  • Oh my hod, so cute and so much envy...

    Btw is that a dog collar I see around your neck?

  • meow
  • (◍ ´꒳` ◍)

    Thenk u so much, I'm so attention deprived TwT

  • meow
  • Meooww~ purr purr >w<

    totally not doing it just to be called a good girl and maybe even get headpats

  • Should I give up HRT to save money since it doesn't work for me and is having no real impact.
  • Did you talk to your doctor about it not doing anything? It might very well because you're getting too low if a dosage. (DON'T INCREASE WITHOUT SUPERVISION THO!!)

    I can't really judge if it's actually doing nothing or if you just can't see the change since it's a very slow and gradual process.

  • I need some tucking help
  • Ok, thank you for the recommendation

  • I need some tucking help
  • Yeah thank you, I actually didn't know that it had an actual word

  • I need some tucking help
  • I'd be a little concerned about it being quite uncomfortable since bikinis usually are a different material, but it might be worth a try. Thanks

  • I need some tucking help
  • Thank you so much for the recommendation! Sad that there's nothing in person here tho, guess I have to put up with the shipping struggle...

    I'm luckily in a position to not need to resort to Point of Pride - I'd rather have it go to someone who really needs the support.

  • I need some tucking help

    As a transfem, it's probably not a surprise that I get disphoric about a certain area. Tucking normally doesn't really work for me because it leaves tape residue everywhere, hurts like hell to remove the tape and is super inconvenient (even though it's medical tape). My idea: there has to be at least some underwear that is specifically designed for tucking.

    After googling for a good while, I found a couple of sites offering tucking underwear. The only issue is: the price is extremely high. Does anyone of you have experience with tucking underwear? What are your thoughts and can you recommend them? I don't wanna blow a ton of money on something that turns out to be only mediocre at best.

    Along with that, does anyone have any sources to buy from in central Europe (online or in-person), specifically Austria/Vienna?

    How does one find a surgeon for FFS?
  • Holy shit, how didn't I know this exists? This is an amazing recourse. Thank you so much for this

  • What's your gender identity?
  • Trans femme / A-gender gurl here to assist your data!

  • (long rant) Feeling very isolated and scared
  • I'm not much of a relationship person but having your close ones just vanish must hurt a ton. Especially at a time like this...

    When the feelings get too much, (at least for me it helps if you) take your Blåhaj and imagine they're a human, like a close friend or family. >!or imagine me, even if you have no clue how I look like. After all, the Blåhaj connects us all!<

  • Just a thought process that led me into thinking too much about who I actually am…
  • Don't apologize for this, it was super interesting to read. Thank you for the insight, we're all nerds here I feel like.

  • Just a thought process that led me into thinking too much about who I actually am…
  • I mean, I am very new on here and the only related subreddit I am on is r/blahaj (and nothing stood out to me in OneTopic's videos so far). In any case, I'm very glad that I'm not alone in this.

  • Workout help?
  • I'll be honest and say that I know next to nothing about workout thingies. But my brother does. He once told me something that I think could have a lot of truth in it:

    Workout is for building muscle. Losing weight is something you do in the kitchen.

    I really don't want to encourage you to starve yourself tho. The best advice that I am able to give you is to maybe get into calorie counting.

    Also, there is nothing wrong with being a little more on the bulky side. I've got several afab friends that are a little bigger and they still look amazing.

  • Just a thought process that led me into thinking too much about who I actually am…
  • I'm luckily at a therapist that specializes in LGBT topics so I hope that my concerns are for nothing anyways. Oh how I wish I could just turn off attraction.

    AGP (autogynophilia) is a debunked pseudo-scientific theory. I see that it still exists in your doubts.

    What's even scarier is that I didn't even know that this was an official thing. So the existence of this was in my head without knowing what it was. Scary shit... Thank you for telling me this.

    I'm not super stressed about finding out my sexuality anyways. I seriously have bigger fish to fry for the time being.

    Have you tried possible affirmations, like a preferred name, pronouns, clothes? How did you feel?

    I've tried a lot of things, actually. I mostly go by my chosen name (which feels kinda good), my chosen pronouns (which doesn't feel bad but it's kinda weird) and wearing affirming clothes feels fucking awesome.

    a trans woman who is scared to do something or learn something that invalidates her.

    I hate to say this but this is uncomfortably accurate...

    Thank you tho c:

  • Just a thought process that led me into thinking too much about who I actually am…

    (First time posting here, hi you cuties ^^/)

    For context, I am 18 MtF but don’t have any medication yet because of the local healthcare system. To add to that, while I am in therapy, I’m afraid to talk to my therapist about this because I will need a confirmation from him that says that I can have HRT to actually get HRT. This puts me into this weird place where I very much should talk to my therapist about it but also shouldn’t because it might hinder me from getting hormones (I hate this system). Of course, I don’t want to replace my therapist with you, I just want some of your thoughts and experiences with this.

    Long story short, pretty much everyone I’ve ever heard talk about this has always said that there is a difference between attraction and gender envy. The only issue is, this line doesn’t really exist for me.

    If I think someone is cute, I can never really differentiate between the feeling of “I wish I was this cute” or “I wish they would hug me / I could hug them”. What makes all of this even more complicated is that I am very much unsure about my sexuality. Since the thought of sexual interactions actually kinda disgust me, I guess I’m ace? But then again, I also kinda feel an attraction to more feminine presenting people? Yet I am also open for any other, or no gender at all? And more importantly, is this feeling of wanting to be someone I think is cute just from me hating myself? Does that mean that I’m not trans? And why are other trans people saying that there is a difference?

    Does anyone of you also struggle to find this line between attraction and gender envy? If yes, what does this feel for you? And if no, what are your thoughts on this?

    PS.: You shouldn’t feel the need to validate me. The last thing I want is to be stuck in some sort of echo-chamber. If what you read, makes you think I’m not trans then please please please tell me so.