Yeah all of my transition happened really fast for me so that probably didn't help either
I've got no words... Thank you so much TwT
....I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this fucking goblin up there telling me lies ;w;
Plus I'd panic a little if someone used it in public because I was afraid of negative attention.
God I feel that sooo much. I know that none cares but I still can't shake feelings like that.
Interestingly enough, same here. I guess tho that a differentiating factor with me is that I quite like my dead name (even if I can't pronounce it)
How long did it take you getting used to a new name/pronouns
For context: This Monday I came out to my work colleges and asked them also to call me by my new name and pronouns. Everyone is very supportive which is all that I could hope for. The only issue is, since in my family noone calls me by my actual name, not many people in my life actually call me by my chosen name (at least up until now).
With everyone at work calling me by my chosen name now, it actually feels quite a bit strange, uncomfortable and even a little embarrassing.
I did talk to my therapist about something like that once and he said that, yes, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and yes, that is uncomfortable but it's a necessary step to get better.
And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like "how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable" and so on.
And now I'm here, asking you for similar experiences you've had to hopefully get it through my fat skull that it's a normal thing to feel (hopefully).
So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?
I'm luckily able to start estro next week so I just gotta worry about my name change...
Thinking that transitioning can be worse in our neighboring countries is wild, considering how much stupid paperwork and waiting for appointments I had to do. I can do this.
...sorry for the slight terminology mishap, I admittedly am not very well educated on politics and especially not it's terminology. But thank you for the explanation
I genuinely feel sorry for you, you don't even have the privilege of gender neutral pronouns in German ;-; (except for "es")...
Let's just hope that what you said will actually be true... I'd rather have that conservative party that can't seem to not be in some controversy in our Parliament than those far right fuckers
TW: Bad politics - election where i'm from gone terrible
I'm so scared...
I'm from a small central European country called Austria. We recently had elections for our EU representative. Sadly, the HEAVILY conservative party (formerly the same party that Hitler was in) won.
Literally all that they want to do is just objectively wrong - from ignoring climate change to leaving the EU, and that's not even mentioning their views on us queer folk.
Seeing as how this election turned out, I'm so incredibly scared of the next one (nationalratswahl) because, if they get elected there too, they can cause some serious damage to Austria/us. I'm actually so scared that I feel the need to kinda rush my transition now (mainly meaning legal name/gender change).
I actually genuinely feel ashamed living here sometimes. And yes, I am thinking of leaving the country if it gets worse but it's really not that easy for me currently...
I'm sorry for the rant but I'm just incredibly scared about my safety here in the future. I also don't have any other place to rant this to ;-;
Probably the most affirming expriance I've had was when a new neighbor moved into our small apartment building and we got into a little bit of a chat. Some when in she asked me "oh, you're -neighbor with female name-, right?" I was, in fact, not that neighbor. What makes it specifically special was that I haven't done much as in voice training and my voice usually gives away that I'm born male. I still try to sound as androgynous as I can but it's reeaallyy hard.
Since that story is quite boring, here are 3 other affirming stories:
At an anime convention, I went into the men's bathroom to wash my hands and apply more black lipstick. Back then (and even now), the ladies bathroom almost sounds like sin to go into for me (thank you dad). To appear more fem, I wearing a very short skirt and a crop-top. It worked so well actually that some guy opened the bathroom door, saw me, IMMEDIATELY apologized and walked back out. He did come in again after looking at the bathroom sign and asked but ya. It felt so good finally not fitting in a space I was forced into for my entire life so far.
A second public bathroom story ٩(•ᴗ•)۶. I was in Cologne (Germany) for a day because of a small event in the Bootshaus. On our way there, me and a friend of mine had to go to the bathroom, so we decided to go at the bathroom of the train station Köln messe/deutz (we went separately and guarded our baggage and stuff). In any case, I walked in and someone instantly saw me and told me to get the fuck over to the ladies bathroom. The scared little bitch that I am, I just put on my male voice and said that I sadly had to go here... He left me alone after that but still very funny and affirming.
And finally, a non-bathroom related story. Literally 3 days ago, coming home from a Pride parade, a train ticked guy asked me for my ticket. Since I've just been on a pride parade, I was dressed quite fem and slutty. Anyways, I gave him my ticket and ID. THE FACE OF THAT POOR GUY AS HE GOT VISABLY CONFUSED WHEN SEEIBG MY NAME AND OLD PIC. It was amazing. Nothing really happened and h didn't question it and just left me to my ways.
What makes all of this even more euphoric of me tho is the fact that I'm not on HRT yet. I do have strangely high natural estro level which might have made me grow up quite a bit fem too. I guess I'm kinda blessed with the f1nnster gen, where I can look both quite masc and quite fem c:
Where did you get it from, puppy? I totally don't want one myself because my current chocker that you theoretically could attach a leash or chain to breaks when you put pressure on it... Or so I'm told...
Also I'm far too awkward to go to my local pet store and try on a dog collar to see if it fits.
And of course I'm gonna call a cutie cute, you cutie >w<
Oh my hod, so cute and so much envy...
Btw is that a dog collar I see around your neck?
Meooww~ purr purr >w<
totally not doing it just to be called a good girl and maybe even get headpats
Why not make something like "[email protected]"?
Did you talk to your doctor about it not doing anything? It might very well because you're getting too low if a dosage. (DON'T INCREASE WITHOUT SUPERVISION THO!!)
I can't really judge if it's actually doing nothing or if you just can't see the change since it's a very slow and gradual process.
I'd be a little concerned about it being quite uncomfortable since bikinis usually are a different material, but it might be worth a try. Thanks
I need some tucking help
As a transfem, it's probably not a surprise that I get disphoric about a certain area. Tucking normally doesn't really work for me because it leaves tape residue everywhere, hurts like hell to remove the tape and is super inconvenient (even though it's medical tape). My idea: there has to be at least some underwear that is specifically designed for tucking.
After googling for a good while, I found a couple of sites offering tucking underwear. The only issue is: the price is extremely high. Does anyone of you have experience with tucking underwear? What are your thoughts and can you recommend them? I don't wanna blow a ton of money on something that turns out to be only mediocre at best.
Along with that, does anyone have any sources to buy from in central Europe (online or in-person), specifically Austria/Vienna?
Just a thought process that led me into thinking too much about who I actually am…
(First time posting here, hi you cuties ^^/)
For context, I am 18 MtF but don’t have any medication yet because of the local healthcare system. To add to that, while I am in therapy, I’m afraid to talk to my therapist about this because I will need a confirmation from him that says that I can have HRT to actually get HRT. This puts me into this weird place where I very much should talk to my therapist about it but also shouldn’t because it might hinder me from getting hormones (I hate this system). Of course, I don’t want to replace my therapist with you, I just want some of your thoughts and experiences with this.
Long story short, pretty much everyone I’ve ever heard talk about this has always said that there is a difference between attraction and gender envy. The only issue is, this line doesn’t really exist for me.
If I think someone is cute, I can never really differentiate between the feeling of “I wish I was this cute” or “I wish they would hug me / I could hug them”. What makes all of this even more complicated is that I am very much unsure about my sexuality. Since the thought of sexual interactions actually kinda disgust me, I guess I’m ace? But then again, I also kinda feel an attraction to more feminine presenting people? Yet I am also open for any other, or no gender at all? And more importantly, is this feeling of wanting to be someone I think is cute just from me hating myself? Does that mean that I’m not trans? And why are other trans people saying that there is a difference?
Does anyone of you also struggle to find this line between attraction and gender envy? If yes, what does this feel for you? And if no, what are your thoughts on this?
PS.: You shouldn’t feel the need to validate me. The last thing I want is to be stuck in some sort of echo-chamber. If what you read, makes you think I’m not trans then please please please tell me so.