PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S [he/him] @lemmy.sdf.org Anarchist, autistic, engineer, and Certified Professional Life-Regretter. If you got a brick of text, don't be alarmed; that's normal.
Sure. America has its slimy tendrils in everyone else's business, so it's only fair that you have a say.
"Gradient descent" ≈ on a "hilly" (mathematical) surface, try to find the lowest point by finding the lowest point near an initial guess. Hopefully, the lowest point near your initial guess is low enough to pass as a solution to your problem.
"Gradient" is basically the steepness, or rate that the thing you're trying to optimize changes as you move through "space". The gradient tells you mathematically which direction you need to go to reach the bottom. "Descent" means "try to find the minimum".
I'm glossing over a lot of details, particularly what a "surface" actually means in the high dimensional spaces that AI uses, but a lot of problems in mathematical optimization are solved like this. And one of the steps in training an AI agent is to do an optimization, which often does use a gradient descent algorithm. That being said, not every process that uses gradient descent is necessarily AI or even machine learning. I'm actually taking a course this semester where a bunch of my professor's research is in optimization algorithms that don't use a gradient descent!
Interview with a Sudanese anarchist companion
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/21742062
They created a good product so people used it and there were no alternatives when it got shit.
They created an inherently centralizing implementation of a video sharing platform. Even if it was done with good intentions (which it wasn't, it was some capitalist's hustle, and its social importance is a side effect), we should basically always condemn centralizing implementations of a given technology because they reinforce existing power structures regardless of the intentions of their creators.
It's their fault because they're a corporation that does what corporations do. Even when corporations try to do right by the world (which is an extremely generous appraisal of YouTube's existence), they still manage to create centralizing technologies that ultimately serve to reinforce their existing power, because that's all they can do. Otherwise, they would have set themselves up as a non-profit or some other type of organization. I refuse to accept the notion of a good corporation.
There’s no lock in. They don’t force you off the platform if you post elsewhere (like twitch did).
That's a good point, but while there isn't a de jure lock-in for creators, there is a de facto lock-in that prevents them from migrating elsewhere. Namely, that YouTube is a centralized, proprietary service, which can't be accessed from other services.
I also respect your freedom to like what you want, but also also
Upvoted because it's unpopular.
Also: model trains. I was into model trains for a few years, but I realized that I didn't really have the life experience to make a fulfilling model trainset. Like I did the thing, I made a (really childish) layout with some crappy blocks and streets, and I got the trains to move and stuff, but it didn't...say much? It was "I'm a child and I like trains", which is great! Probably wouldn't have become interested in trains at all otherwise!
But I want more...I always want more. I need to go more hardcore into the few things I can actually tolerate doing...
And as a child, I saw some really cool trainsets built by adults that told stories, made me laugh, made my parents laugh, made me feel awe at the storytelling and creativity of the craft. Even my cousin, who built a trainset in his basement in his early twenties, had a much more inspired trainset than mine (when I was much younger, like 10 or 12). His trainset was cool. He studied how trains worked, how to make a realistic line with realistic scenery and infrastructure. His trainset reflected who he was, and ultimately forecasted what he became. He literally works for a rail company now designing the train tracks.
So I'm kinda "saving" that hobby for when I'm in my 60's after I integrate enough life experience (and hopefully some capital) to build a trainset that really reflects the person I ultimately became.
My trainset is gonna have a sick, functioning roller coaster, some overly complicated automated control circuits, some heavy metal references, some intentionally goofy shit, serious shit, an anarcho-communist bent, a layout that at least is informed by modern infrastructure design, etc., because that's at least partially the person I will have become.
Roller coasters. I'm too heavy to go on them, too poor to afford to ride them, too busy to simulate them.
I'm intrigued but completely out of the loop. What's the difference between these two sets of books?
Literally every corporation does or attempts to do the same thing.
Exactly. Every single corporation is evil and should be dismantled 🔥🔥🔥. This is just one of a thousand reasons to do so.
"Absolute evil" is a bit of a stretch, but it's YouTube/Google's fault (by closing off and centralizing their video platform) that it is impossible to go elsewhere for videos.
“We are a free speech university. But to intentionally break the rules ... now you’re in the world of civil disobedience and we’re going to think about consequences.”
"Decorum is more important than the human lives you're protesting on behalf of."
What a bunch of clowns openly railing against civil disobedience.
Is like saying oh you don't like your local librarians? you're free to make your own library!
I'm probably being pedantic here but you kinda can, e.g. Little Free Libraries, although the reason isn't "my local librarians suck", it's closer to "more libraries please".
Okay well being free to do something doesn't magically make it a real option.
Agreed, but I fail to see how, with enough consent from the user base, how moving to another existing server is not an option.
Are there even any exceptions to that that aren't entire communities agreeing to move together off instances?
I'm not aware of any off the top of my head, but it absolutely does not seem implausible that we could move this community if the need arises. Entire communities moved off of Reddit during the boycott; I don't see why we can't do that again within the platform if the need arises. For the most part people are okay with the moderation here, as am I, but the minute that changes people will flee somewhere else.
For literally the entire time I have been on lemmy I have heard laments about the centralization of comms on lemmy.world and seen attempts to mitigate it but every pie chart just shows lemmy.world with more of the pie because growing a comm on small servers isn't simple!
Hard agree there. I'm not sure how to fix it.
An Anarchist FAQ
A reminder for the liberals who seem to be finding this space and spamming us with "gotchas" like anarchist spaces having rules or anarchists talking about banning stuff.
These questions have already been answered hundreds of times and debating each and every one of you individually is simply too much work and just not very fun.
Note that anarchists are not a monolith and nothing here is set in stone, but IMO it's a pretty well-researched guide for contemporary anarchist thought.
Biden? More like Bye-then
In all seriousness, Joe Biden has ended his campaign for reelection. He has not stepped down as President 🤞.
How do I deal with people not reading things?
I'm autistic. This problem shows up for me all over the place, to the point that I typically don't recommend reading anymore except when strictly necessary. However, it is showing up now because I'm working with people on a project (and generally everyone I have worked with at school so far) who will not read, particularly documentation for tools and programs, data sheets, and application notes. How do I get people "up to speed" if they refuse to read the things I send them?
Some concepts are simply too complex or too lengthy for me to explain correctly in a real conversation. It's really the fact that nobody seems to want to read in any field of endeavor suggests that it's something wrong with me and how I perceive things.
Fit for an Autopsy - The Man That I Was Not
Provided to YouTube by Nuclear Blast The Man That I Was Not · Fit For An Autopsy · Will Putney · Will Putney Oh What the Future Holds ℗ Nuclear Blast Released on: 2022-01-14 Auto-generated by YouTube.
It's one of those "self-loathing days" so this track is particularly fitting.
Are there any FOSS Mahjong apps for an elderly person?
My grandmother wants to install Mahjong onto her phone. I couldn't find any results on the Play Store with no ads or in-app purchases. She doesn't understand technology and could get tricked into purchasing stuff or compromising her data.
No subversion of expectations here
Transcription: Four-panel Gru's Plan meme. 1st panel: "Decide to make a Gru's Plan meme." 2nd panel: "Come up with a sick punchline." 3rd panel: "Make the last two panels different." 4th panel: "Get lots of downvotes for some reason."
RANT: out of gas
I'm fucking tired of explaining to business ghouls that I AM FUCKING DESPERATE. I'M INTERVIEWING WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO SURVIVE. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY DREAMS OR WHETHER THIS JOB OR YOUR COMPANY LINES UP WITH MY CAREER GOALS. WE ARE HOLY-SHIT PAST THE POINT WHERE I'M ABLE TO BE CHOOSY. ALL YOU FUCKING NEED TO DO IS READ THE FUCKING RESUMÉ THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR GOD-DAMNED EYES, ASK ABOUT MY QUALIFICATIONS, AND TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT I'M A GOOD FIT.
NO, your company isn't special to me, and it isn't special to ANYONE but you and your business-ghoul friends. Your company is merely the LABEL that will decorate my paycheck and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE, AND I'M SICK OF PRETENDING OTHERWISE.
And WHY the FUCK are you calling me to literally REPEAT SHIT YOU'RE TOO FUCKING IGNORANT TO READ ON THE GOD-DAMNED FUCKING RESUMÉ?
I've applied for at least 200 engineering jobs (I recounted the ones on job sites; but even that's nowhere near all of them) this year and gotten zero offers. This job search is LITERALLY DRIVING ME INSANE, because I can no longer fucking afford antidepressants and I'm on the verge of blowing up in people's faces all the goddamn fucking time. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
> Try [insert nearby industry here]
Funny story: turns out, there are people who studied for degrees in those nearby industries. No I can't land a software developer, data scientist, IT, etc., job, because (1) I've applied for all those several times and not even gotten an interview and (2) my school produces students who actually studied those topics as a major!
So thank you genuinely to the dozens of people who have recommended that, I really do appreciate the help ... but that only works if you're an appealing candidate in general.
> Why are you unhirable?
Bad GPA (~2.8; many firms have hard cutoff > 3 or 3.1), no experience/internships, no support/professional network, recent downward trajectory on transcript, autistic, mentally ill getting more unstable by the day, terrible attitude that's impossible to fully hide, no charisma to accommodate for my deficiencies, no access to a time machine. I KNOW how I got here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
At least when I worked in food delivery I managed to make non-trivial money. AT LEAST I WAS HAPPY while being exploited. Now I'm thousands of dollars in debt, literally a hundred pounds heavier, psychologically and emotionally BROKEN, and no closer to getting a real job than I was before.
Still miserable and unemployed
I was actually going to write a fresh post, but then I realized that a lot hasn't changed since the last time I posted here. Here's the old post if you're interested.
Short version: I cannot find employment at all in my field (electrical engineering). It's not "we're not hiring", it's "we're not hiring you." I need to pay bills. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from being so close to poverty for so long.
What has changed:
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I have been through about 10 interviews. Furthest I've gotten in one company's hiring process is to 2nd interview. Rather than 30 applications, I have filled out over 150 applications, but I've honestly lost track. No offers. I have exhausted all the entry-level engineering opportunities my college's job board has to offer. I literally have to wait for new jobs to be posted because I applied for everything. The problem is that I don't have experience. My resumé is fine (probably) as it gets me interviews, but I simply do not have engineering experience. I am fully convinced that no engineering firm will hire me in my current state.
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I ran out of meds about a month ago, so I feel a lot more irritable. My parents have offered to pay for a psych appointment and meds, but like...once. I will take it, but I'm waiting until I know for sure I can get more meds by the time I run out.
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To my absolute shock, I was accepted to pursue a master's degree at my alma mater, and the Financial Aid department has assured me that I qualify for financial aid. So at least I'm allowed to...go into further debt for further education. Yay.
Now if capitalism [1] were not an issue, I would immediately pounce at the opportunity to do a masters degree. I enjoy learning and if I thought I could choose, I would go into research. However, I gotta pay the rent (even and especially if I live with my parents), I gotta eat, and I gotta pay back the loans. Even if I go with the degree, I have to make money to pay the rent while I'm in school.
My degree is/would be in electrical engineering. I always told myself I'd be able to get a job after all this, I always told myself I picked a "safe" major. But I can't do this anymore. I can't be constantly living on the edge of poverty like this. And the fucking interviewers are starting to ask about the gap in my work history since I fucking graduated. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU STUPID FUCKS WON'T LET ME GET EXPERIENCE?!?!? I wish I never went back to fucking school and I fucking hate my life.
[1] Not looking to proselytize or debate politics, but I'm not sure how else to explain to people what economic impulses force me and most other humans to act against our interests. If it bothers you, replace "capitalism" with whatever you think is responsible for making ordinary people act against their economic interests.
Matrix Theory: From Generalized Inverses to Jordan Form
I've been reading this book lately, although I'm not finished yet.
It's basically a "second course" of matrix algebra that uses the full-rank factorization and the Moore-Penrose pseudoinverse to construct other generalized inverses and prove cool stuff about matrices. I initially borrowed a copy from the library for its extensive coverage of the Jordan decomposition (whose existence was really important for my control systems coursework), but I actually bought a copy as a reference because I found myself thumbing through it all the time. Although it is mostly theoretical, all the algorithms are covered sufficiently to do everything on paper if you wanted to.
If this isn't in the spirit of the community please let me know.
Completely burned out
I hope this is welcome here, as it's about autistic burnout. Mild CW for swearing and general negativity.
I finally got my diploma, literally just a couple hours ago.
No I'm not bragging because I'm not fucking proud. It wasn't a fucking accomplishment. I graduated with a 2.8 by the skin of my teeth. My transcript shows a recent downward trend. It took almost double the time; I did two years in four, and I took out loans to live in poverty away from home, just to limp back home to screw up the last semester.
And I fried my brain in the process. I'm not just afraid of getting a new job, but I would be nervous to even go back to the way things used to be. My parents are like "oh you can go back to pizza delivery" but what they don't seem to grasp is that I can't even do that anymore. I've been having trouble planning to do projects and activities, even things I want to do. My body feels like it permanently changed for the worse. I literally gained a hundred pounds. Taking care of hygiene feels is too tiring to finish. My ability to remember things is absolutely devastated.
It's not healthy to be on the brink of disaster for so many years.
So far, I have gotten exactly zero interviews after contacting about thirty employers. (Even the simple task of applying for work feels incomprehensibly complex. I'm good with computers, but it's just so much typing and reading the job descriptions and stuff.) What good is a degree without a job? Congratulations, I know things, but what good is that for me if I starve to death? What good is it if I can't be at peace or even comfortable? How am I supposed to pay off my loans? None of my professors liked me, I made no friends at school, joined no clubs, did no extracurriculars other than some research that I can't explain to a recruiter. I have no experience in the field, not even an internship. I don't have anything to offer an employer [1].
I have already gotten employers bring up the GPA unprompted to reject me for the position. Most engineering firms aren't interested in students with a GPA < 3. I've applied for all sorts of other jobs, but I'm competing with people who actually studied in that field. I have no projects in a state suitable to present on a resumé, and every recent attempt to start a project has gone almost nowhere.
And frankly, I'm not particularly friendly or sociable. I am ice cold, even when I'm trying to be warm. Even when I'm fully prepared for a social situation, I am still autistic, and people will inevitably find me awkward in a bad way. I'm not open about my political views IRL [2], but it's very difficult to hide my disdain for capitalism and imperialism from people who think they benefit from them [3].
I would be literally thrilled to do a master's degree in my field, as I read graduate-level material in my spare time, the rare times I have any energy. However, how could I pay for it? How could I convince an employer to pay for it with my transcript and recent downward trajectory? And if I get accepted, how do I even begin to manage that time? I could barely handle the workload of a bachelor's degree, and I can barely even handle the workload of looking for a job or even cleaning my body.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to be able to do things like I used to be able to do. I just want to go back to a time when it actually felt good to achieve my goals. If y'all have any similar experiences, advice, or just want to dunk on my situation, I'd really like to hear it.
[1] I'm not seriously shedding a tear over these "poor employers" and how I can't provide value to them. I don't give a fuck about them, fractally so. However, the "value I offer to the company" is the lens through which they view my employability, which in turn determines the level of comfort my paycheck yields me or if I get that comfort at all.
[2] I'm not a great rhetorician. If I argue for my views, I will probably make my case look worse. It takes a lot of energy to talk, so my arguments are usually really sloppy when talking in person. For this reason, I'm very careful to look like a "normie." E.g., you would not peg me for an anarchist if you met me on the street.
[3] I don't apply for defense contractors, police contractors, or prisons for ethical reasons, mostly ACAB-related. Engineers usually have no conscience of the world outside their field; e.g., a job is a job regardless of how your product gets used. This alone kills so many otherwise excellent job opportunities, and it alienated me from my peers. Turns out that the fash pays well for your integrity.
I want to go into research, like the biomedical research I did at school, but I don't think I have the grades for that. I became an engineer to do good things with math and science. I'm not giving up on that, but I'm tempering my expectations for sure.