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HandOfDoom @lemmy.world
Posts 4
Comments 68
Feeling lost and confused with life, need advice
  • I'm having a similar issue.

    I lost my mother when I was 13. But, at that age, I was too young to understand the fragility of life.

    Now, at 30, death scares me a lot. I had to deal with loss a few more times and it finally got to me. Now I am old enough to be able to understand what a "lifetime" is. When we are young, we don't have this knowledge: life looks like it will go on forever. But it won't.

    I'm just starting to accept that my loved ones won't be here forever. And this shit is scary as fuck. But we need to learn to accept this truth and live with it. It can also help us to value life more, to be grateful for things we used to take for granted.

    And we need to take care of ourselves, physically and mentally, so we can live, as we too are dear for our loved ones and they need our help.

    I'm also dealing with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Here's what helps me when I panic:

    • Calming ASMR videos (Bob Ross is my favourite, in fact I have one of his videos playing right now as background while I work. Sometimes, if I feel bad, I just pause what I'm doing and watch him paint for a bit);
    • If Bob is not enough to calm me down, I do some breathing exercises (I was skeptical at first, but it works). Try this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiUnFJ8P4gM

    We have to be strong, but it's also okay to be weak. It's okay to cry if we need to. Just don't give up, because there's always good things in life to make all the suffering be worth it.

  • Dealing with anxiety without meds
  • My father left this city 7 years ago, because he was having constant panic attacks after some thugs tried to rob us a few times. He went to live in a small, almost dead town, where sometimes he needs to hunt and fish to have something to eat.

    So I agree, this anxiety is just my body telling me I should get the fuck out of here too. But I don't want to throw my whole life away, so I'll keep going, one day at a time.

  • The reward
  • It's winter where I live. Temperature should be around 10ºC but some places registered 30ºC. And this week we'll have our 4th hurricane of 2023. My house is old and I fear soon I'll wake up without a roof.

    My anxiety is so bad today. I keep trying to find new ways to deal with it, meds, meditation, exercise, but how the fuck am I supposed to keep up?

  • Update: The hottest 21 days ever recorded were the last 3 weeks
  • Great! I'm enjoying my ice cream in winter, while waiting for the 4th hurricane of this year to hit my city. The last one ALMOST took the roof off my house, but hey, maybe this next one will, and then I'll get to enjoy a free rain bath!

  • Dealing with anxiety without meds
  • Yeah, I need to hit the gym more. This week I managed to go only 2 times. But I agree that it helps a lot, it's just hard to have enough energy left to go after a full day of work.

    AHDH caused me a lot of trouble in the past. I blamed myself too much. Now I deal with it a lot better, knowing that it isn't my fault, that I'm not just lazy.

    Now I think my anxiety is being caused mainly from the lack of financial stability. For example, we just had a damn hurricane here in my city and the roof of my house almost went flying. I would have to sell my car to repair it. Maybe I will have to, because the climate is surely not getting better. Thoughts like this keep buzzing in my head all the time.

    It sucks, there's far too many things that are out of my control. I just need to improve my ability of dealing with them. Smoking weed helps me to forget about problems for a while, but I still need to deal with them somehow.

  • Dealing with anxiety without meds
  • Great answer. I'm not overwhelmed by the replies, so feel free to write to your heart's content hahah. It helps me and maybe it'll help others too.

    I look forward to your meditation videos, it's a very interesting approach.

    I have a lot of trouble with capitalism as well. Sometimes I feel that I've lost my sense of self. It's like I've turned into a part of a big machine, that is going to a place where I don't want to be.

    The things you said to increase, like walking, nature appreciation, creativity (I'm a musician) help me to regain my sense of self and to find meaning in what I'm doing. Unfortunately, living in a third world country, with a lot of work for little pay, makes it hard to have energy left to pursue those things. But I'll keep on trying.

    Thanks for your reply and wish you the best.

  • Dealing with anxiety without meds
  • I agree 100% on capitalism being the root of the problem. Unfortunately, we live in this shitty system, so we need to adapt as best as we can. I never tried meditation, can you give me a tip on how to start? Do you use an app for it?

  • Dealing with anxiety without meds

    Hello,

    I know there are tons of articles and videos about this topic on the internet. But I think I need to interact with real people with similar struggles (feel free to share articles and videos that have helped you, though).

    I've always had anxiety problems, even as a kid. I got diagnosed late (at 30) with ADHD, depression and social anxiety, and I started taking meds for those. The meds helped, but after a year or so I stopped taking them, mainly because I was feeling better and they were too expensive. Unfortunately the cheaper options gave me too many side effects.

    I can function without the meds. But this year is being really hard on me and my wife, and my anxiety is starting to get out of control again. I'm getting some panic attacks and they make me feel like shit.

    Can you share some tips on what works for you when you are feeling anxious?

    Thanks a lot and wish you the best.

    29

    Data privacy: how to counter the "I have nothing to hide" argument?

    I know data privacy is important and I know that big corporations like Meta became powerful enough to even manipulate elections using our data.

    But, when I talk to people in general, most seem to not worry because they "have nothing to hide", and most are only worried about their passwords, banking apps and not much else.

    So, why should people worry about data privacy even if they have "nothing to hide"?

    294

    Fear of text notifications

    Hello!

    I'm a 30 year old male living with my wife on a 3rd world country. We have no help from our families and we've been through some very difficult times, but we managed to get by. My wife had a severe case of depression and even tried to take her own life at a point.

    Now things got a little better, even though we are in a tight financial situation. We both feel a lot better and we even managed to get off our meds (it's nice to be able to save the money and get rid of the side-effects).

    But, there is something weird that came as a consequence of all those bad times. Whenever I receive a text message from my wife, my heart races and my anxiety goes through the roof. It's an irrational fear that the message will be bad news.

    I don't really know if there is such a thing as "text phobia", but that's how it feels (english is not my main language, so it's kinda hard to explain). I alread mentioned this to my wife and I think it made her feel bad because she thinks it's her fault. Of course I said it's not her fault, but now I'm kinda afraid to bring this up again with her. We both are trying so hard to be strong for each other.

    I wonder if anyone else had a similar problem and I would be very grateful if someone could give me some tips on how to work on this problem.

    Thanks a lot and I hope you have a great day.

    26

    Desculpem o desabafo

    Galera, preciso tirar umas coisas do meu peito e como o Reddit foi pra bosta, vou postar aqui mesmo. Sei lá, talvez eu queria só que alguém me dissesse que vai ficar tudo bem.

    Tenho 30 anos, moro só eu e minha esposa em uma cidade distante de ambas nossas famílias. Minha mãe morreu quando eu era adolescente, meu pai tem síndrome do pânico e acabou mudando pro interior e eu meio que fiquei sozinho (o resto da minha família nunca foi muito próxima, até por eu ser diferente deles, não temos muito em comum).

    A família da minha esposa é horrível, do tipo que a mãe fala pra ela que ela está gorda pra deixar ela mal. Acho que a mãe dela tem ressentimento com ela por ela ter saído de casa com 17 anos (depois de sofrer uma tonelada de violência física e psicológica).

    Aí somos só eu e minha esposa. Tínhamos dois gatos lindos e grandões que ficavam dentro de casa e faziam companhia para ela. Porém, nossa rua está com uma infestação de gatos, e um vizinho começou a matar todos com veneno. Nossos gatos tinham acesso a rua e não deu outra, ambos comeram veneno e morreram.

    Gastamos mais de 500 reais com veterinário tentando salvar eles, mas não teve o que fazer.

    Minha esposa, após um período de depressão profunda (incluindo tentativa de suicídio, para o qual os pais dela cagaram, não vieram nem visitar), precisou parar de trabalhar.

    Meu salário cobre mais ou menos nossas despesas, mas o dinheiro acabou e precisamos apelar pra empréstimo. Fizemos as contas aqui e dá para reverter, era só termos bastante disciplina.

    Aí, hoje fui ligar o carro para vir pro trabalho e o carro começou a falhar. A água baixou um pouco, parece junta de cabeçote queimada, se der merda vai ser uns 2k para a retífica. E eu preciso do carro para trabalhar...

    Eu estou com uma sensação absurda de angústia, ansiedade, vontade de chorar, tudo ao mesmo tempo. Não tenho nem de longe como fazer terapia, o jeito é aguentar no osso.

    Fico arrasado de ver minha esposa triste, e eu sem dinheiro pra pagar uma terapia pra ela também, ela precisa até mais do que eu. Pelo SUS não tivemos uma boa experiência, infelizmente.

    Enfim, é isso, só queria colocar pra fora. Se alguém leu até aqui, muito obrigado.

    Tudo de bom pra vocês.

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