Unfortunate Child Named “Not Me” Accumulates 30 Life Sentences Worth of Grounding Due To Lying Children Nationwide [Satire]

You have entered the name "Not Sure." Is this correct, Not Sure?

Whats the current grounding to life sentence exchange rate?

So someone named "Wasn't Me" would get a sentence equal to the time Shaggy's song has been played.

30 life sentences?!

Ah yes, the comedy genius of... Family Circus

On the bright side, he's suing Bill Keane's estate for trillions.