Yeah, meds have helped, in my case. At least benzos, but I try not to use them since they were explicitly prescribed as a last resort. I gotta book an appointment at a second doctor one of these days... It wasn't really working out with my previous doctor.
If you figure out the motivation thing, give me buzz. For winding down, I found that doing mindless sorting tasks is good for relaxing. For instance, I build LEGO things, my son plays with them and takes them apart eventually, and I sort them back out. One time, I went through my son's old clothes and made a list of what was in each box. I felt so relaxed after the clothes logging! It was a nice little Saturday!
We are wired differently. "Winding down" doesn't look the same for us. It's just hard to find the right task to let our brains relax.