I knew a guy who slept in a coffin. Apparently women were really into that. I mean he was a good looking guy, so he didn't have any trouble with women in general, but apparently the coffin is what really got the ladies going.
My first car was a hearse, so I bought a coffin too, it's great for metal festivals 🤘🏻
That being said, sex in a coffin isn't so practical...
I was just about to ask how the hell you get the good angles, short of closing it and bending them over the top like a grieving widow in a cheezy cop flick (well +sex). I mean it's possible they're more spacious inside than I'm imagining, but...
And another thing, why aren't coffins shaped cool anymore? Why did we discontinue the trapezoidal aspect? The only reason I wanted to be buried instead of cremated is to have a slick ass Dracula coffin (I wish Count Orlok's was the cool kind because I'd rather reference him, but oh well...)
(Alright I went a googlin', turns out Caskets are rectangles and Coffins are coffin-shaped, they're not interchangeable terms. There's hope yet!)
Maybe it's the coffin I'm missing for my sleeping conditions!
wow. this is totally me.
Fan death. But maybe he's not worried.
