I believe that's George Washington, one of the "founding fathers" of USA
It's a cutworm. Some kind of moth caterpillar.
That seems like it might be a decent fit for the given photo, how did you make that conclusive determination?
I know what a cutworm is, they're pretty common here in Michigan.
Can you get pictures of the underside, especially near head?
You pervert!
Does it tickle the tongue or make it completely numb?
Do not eat the denticks.
Does it go better with salt or melted butter?
Spodoptera ornithogalli, a common pest species
It's a grub.
Will eventually turn into some type of beetle.
They spend their first part of a lifecycle living like this underground gaining calories before transforming.
That was my first thought, but on closer inspection it has no distinct, obvious legparts below or mandibles up front. Coloration is pretty unusual for a grubworm too. I think we can't conclude grub based on that picture alone, though it is pretty suggestive.
