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I don't understand how someone can struggle. I knew what and where it was before I left primary school.
I think the whole "men don't know where the clitoris is" in reality means either
- they don't know what to do with it
- they don't care
There's also a shockingly high percentage of "they don't even know about it"
As a male virgin, what should I know about the clitoris before I have sex? Or am I right in assuming my partner will tell me what she wants me to do?
what should I know about the clitoris before I have sex?
In my experience, the clit is the key to her enjoyment. Every girl is different, so you have to pay attention to how they react to how you touch it. Some girls like light slow touch, while others like very fast flicks. Some like light slow touch at first, then very fast intense flicks towards the end. I've had girls that need a lot of stimulation, and girls that find a lot of stimulation overwhelming. Listen to their moans and how their body moves. If you get a girl that doesn't show a difference either way, then ask her. If she is still being secretive, then don't worry about it too much and just enjoy your time. Don't go directly for the clit at first. Play around with the pussy area first, slowly getting to the clit.
am I right in assuming my partner will tell me what she wants me to do?
It's been my experience that most girls will guide you indirectly. Very few will tell you exactly what they like. If you get one that does, you have won the lottery. Otherwise, they will guide you indirectly.
In general, just have fun. Sex is naturally enjoyable. Above all, communication is key, but some people feel uncomfortable with being direct about it, so they communicate indirectly and that's okay. Listen to the language they choose to use. Regardless, don't take sex too serious, and you'll be okay. Good luck!
I agree that usually the moaning will tell you if you're doing it right
Communication is always key. Ask for it and provide it. It also occurs in non verbal ways. The clit is a small round “bump” just at the top of her vagina that contains an insane concentration of nerves (think about the base of your head of your dick, how sensitive that is and you get the idea). That being said, be gentle with it and don’t smack it around or jackhammer it. For some girls it’s buried deep under a “hood” for others it’s more prominent or larger. They vary as much as dicks. But watch for her non-verbal cues (moaning: good, wincing: bad) and you’ll be just fine.
Great, thanks
You have to warm up the engine before you check the oil 😉 Wet = good, dry = bad. spread the juices around before you proceed. Licking is also good, spell out the abc's with your tongue. Source: make my wife forget what dimension she's in on the reg.
Light slaps like you're packing a can of dip.
Unfortunately there’s a lot of men who refuse to go down on a woman so never see it. Coupled with “I got my dick wet, don’t care”
Their loss man, sex is so much better after a woman gets off a few times.
Everything's better when everyone's having fun
Why on earth would they refuse to do it? It's one of the best things to do!
I have sadly the opposite problem
Your dick is dry and you do care?
Yes. And also for some reason my gf won't let me go down on her.
She may have insecurities, unsure of how her body looks or smells, or whether or not she's "normal" down there. Fear of judgement can be a huge mood killer.When I was growing up I was never told there was anything wrong with me, but discussion of bodies was rather taboo. It took MANY years before I was comfortable with myself. Also, if she's ever experienced any trauma, that could make her less comfortable as well.
Are you guys able to have discussions about intimate matters? What turns you on, what kinds of touch, how and where? She may or may not know why she's not comfortable with it, but communication is so important for the health of the relationship. Patience, kindness, and to be supportive and non-judgemental of each other goes far with intimate matters.
I don't think she has any trauma. She would have told me otherwise. It could be the thing with self esteem but I don't understand she let me do it before then suddenly she just said she does not like even though she seemed to enjoy it before.
Also, sometimes there are health issues that may escalate after oral sex, e.g. cystitis
I dont think it is that
Nothing made my exes happier like getting in there and giving them the come here. Great way to get new bed sheets at Christmas time too