Bank of Mum and Dad: why we all now live in an ‘inheritocracy’
Bank of Mum and Dad: why we all now live in an ‘inheritocracy’
Family wealth dictates our life choices. So is the Bank of Mum and Dad now behind so many of society’s growing inequalities?
Summary
The “Bank of Mum and Dad” drives modern inequality, fostering an “inheritocracy” where family wealth shapes opportunities over individual merit. This safety net often undermines social mobility, tying success to inheritance rather than personal effort.
Rising housing costs, wage stagnation, and unequal inheritance have entrenched this dynamic, with parental support shaping life milestones like homeownership, career paths, and education.
While early inheritances advantage some, the burden of social care costs threatens others’ expectations.
This growing reliance on family wealth exacerbates inequality within and across generations, highlighting the need for a broader societal conversation about privilege and fairness.
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My parents were quite wealthy and they wasted almost all of it in a nasty 8-year long divorce battle.
They sold most of their belongings in estate sales because they couldnt stop fighting about who owned what so the court decided no one owned anything and they all sold everything for cheap. Infrared sauna sold for $200.
Now both parents are retired, one has fuck you money that they hid away on an offshore account and fled the country so spousal support doesn’t garnish from their retirement funds, and the other is very broke with virtually nothing to their name.
Guess who needs to support them?
I guess I’m just a lil salty. I’m not entitled to anything but just sucks thinking about what would happen if I came from a happy home instead.
It's not just a happy home, it's a Goldilocks thing. So many things have to go exactly right. I came from a happy home, with parents who were upper middle class. Perfectly positioned for what the article describes. My parents were even able to give me a couple hundred dollars for my rent for a few years. But because they sold houses as they moved around they didn't have the level of wealth that would mean they could straight up bankroll me buying a house. Or give me a stable place of my own with no rent at all.
The fact that we are dependent on intergenerational wealth to even get started on the classic American dream stuff is ridiculous and worth a political fight.
And the hell of it is, the government can force you to. They have full authority to garnish your wages and give it to your parents, even if you don’t want to support them.
What in the hell? Where on earth is that legal?
Filial responsibility laws. There are some ways to get around them, but it requires having good parents that care about your future and a good elder law attorney.
Not the USA, but several countries including China make elderly care the legal responsibility of their children.
Nope, USA does it too.
I have never heard of this happening in the USA. The closest I've heard of is some states enforcing grandparents' rights to visit their grandchildren, but I've never heard of any American government entity forcing children to take care of their parents.
Just because you haven’t heard of it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, or doesn’t happen. Another poster already linked the Wikipedia article, but they’re called Filial Responsibility Laws. The states that have them are:
Alaska Arkansas California Connecticut Delaware Georgia Indiana Kentucky Louisiana Massachusetts Mississippi Nevada New Jersey North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oregon Pennsylvania Puerto Rico Rhode Island South Dakota Tennessee Utah Vermont Virginia West Virginia
Iowa used to but they got rid off them in 2015.
Any clue how those laws work if parent and child live in different states?
From what I can tell, it’s based off the state the parent lives in.
That's kinda what I assumed, but say the parent lives in a state with filial responsibility laws, but the child doesn't. Can the child still be forced to support their parents? A brief internet search suggests maybe, but these laws are generally not enforced (except Pennsylvania), and also usually take into account the child's ability to support the parent.
Just seems pretty fucked up that someone's parents could move to State B with these laws to retire, and suddenly their kids, who have never lived in State B, are potentially being held to State B's laws.
Unless I move to Alberta, where filial responsibility laws don’t exist.