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You absolute strawberry plant
You absolute fishtank
You absolute houseplant
Yeah, this checks out
Close!
This has been a Brit thing for a decade or so, particularly Scots and Northern English. The idea is to use a noun that could already be a slightly insulting word to start with, like 'potato' in the example
You absolute donkey
You absolute cabbage
You absolute bin-bag
You absolute Belgian
Etc etc
On a similar note, with an "absolutely" and a word ending in "ed", you get words which mean "very inebriated/stoned"
Common
- absolutely battered
- absolutely blathered
- absolutely pissed
- absolutely wankered
- absolutely trolleyed
- absolutely shitfaced
- absolutely twatted
Less common
- absolutely potatoed
- absolutely cultured
- absolutely traffic coned
- absolutely fishcaked
- absolutely Belgianed
- absolutely bin-bagged
- absolutely cabbaged
- absolutely Tobleroned
"absolutely" in this context can be replaced by "pure" if you're a weegie
"You absolute melt" is my favourite. Uttered by a GBBO baker about himself in the latest episode.
I think houseplant and fishtank kind of work in this context.