I transitioned ages ago and I'm recently out of a long term relationship. I've been trying to get back into dating, but even when I specify "masc for masc" all of the gay guys I meet are too feminine for my taste. I've been feeling a bit doomed, even sometimes questioning if I should have transitioned in the first place because it would be so easy to find an ideal partner if I hadn't, but the idea of being anyone but my true self is preposterous. Can any other guys relate to this? Any dating tips or specific dating app recommendations?

USA if it helps.

I'm curious how many active transmascs there are on here and want to get to know people better. Introduce yourself in the comments below. You can include anything you want.

Questions if you can't think of any:

-Name

-Gender identity

-How long you've been transitioned/if you've transitioned

-Things that give you gender euphoria

-Where you're from

-What you're looking for in this community

-Random fun fact

Megathread of resources in case any of y'all need them. If you don't currently, save it in case you need it in the future.

I used to have an unhealthy relationship with food. I would constantly be feeling guilty about eating anything and was terrified of gaining any weight because it would make me look more feminine.

When I gain weight now I celebrate it. That means my fat gets to redistribute which means less effort that I have to put into passing which means that I can feel more free and comfortable in my own body.

I have never had so much trouble with TSA (american airport security) until today. My crotch got flagged by their scanners and I had to get a physical patdown (surprise, there was nothing bad). Then I forgot to empty my water bottle so I had to go through it all AGAIN and my crotch was once again flagged and I had to get a physical patdown AGAIN (surprise, nothing bad yet again).

Then my other bag gets flagged after going through the thing again despite my not adding anything to it. The TSA guy opens up my bag and I'm assuming saw my packer which I kept in there to put it back in after I went through security. He then giggles and calls multiple of his coworkers over to look at it. Luckily he didn't take it out. This whole damn time I'm right there. Ugh. Considering getting a lumpy cloth packer just to avoid this ever happening again.

I'm assuming that my crotch kept getting flagged because trans? I've never had this happen to me before.

I used to keep some spare panties around for periods but I don't have to do that anymore cause I got briefs

masculinity is like a weighted blanket, soft and securing, that has also been stolen and claimed as the cat's hehe meow

it might be a bit strange, but i feel more confident in my masculinity when im snuggling down in my bed all cosy n cuddly, but that might just be my kittyness i guess meowmeows

plus im very physically affectionate, bonking and bumping into my friends, to the point where some of them have to tell me to stop >w< which definitely differs from more standard masculine physical affection hehe

anywayyyy hope u all have a good day or night or eepytimes (like meee) >w<

These past couple of weeks I've felt such peace over my transition. I'm still not 100% in the place I want to be yet, but I know that those changes will come eventually.

It's done so much for my mental health to be in an environment that affirms me and to automatically be gendered correctly by most people. Being on testosterone has also done a lot for me because now I can actually bear to look at pictures of myself and think "oh yeah, that's me" and not some weird being that kinda resembles me but isn't.

I remember when I was younger and thought I was trans but was so afraid and second-guessing myself all of the time. I tried to convince myself that I'd regret it.

I don't know what the future will hold. But I'm so, so glad I transitioned. I finally feel whole.

I'm a transmasc demiboy, but I don't really like to present myself very masculine. I still love wearing skirts, I like painting my nails, even wearing light makeup.

I'm not happy about the idea of having facial hair or a deeper voice, which is why I have not yet started HRT, even though I'll probably need to in some capacity since I do want phalloplasty in the future.

I also have no desire for top surgery since I don't want to lose sensation in my nipples, and I don't want to have scars on my chest. They don't bother me anyway, they're small (about an A cup). Just about the only masculine thing I do is that I cut my hair short, not super short, but still shorter than what would be considered feminine.

Is this normal? Does anyone else have similar experiences? I've been told I don't act enough like a boy and that I need to be more masculine.

My insurance denied covering my testosterone for the second time (UGH) and I can't afford the packets I usually take here ($120 even with goodrx) so I'm wondering if the gel pump would be cheaper. Anybody know?

I wanted to give an update on my progress:

My voice has gotten much better. There was a period of time where it was almost hard to speak and I could barely sing and thought my voice would sound like shit forever but I am happy to report that it has leveled out. It even sounds good and has a rich tone.

Losing my voice peremantly was my biggest fear with starting T. Took the risk and I am so glad that it didn't happen.

After moving states to a much more progressive one i feel like i get clocked all of the time here, whereas back home that rarely ever happened. When i pass by male strangers they dont do the nod thing to me. its very disconcerting. I get they'd by people who don't know me. I wish I could know what it was that makes people clock me like that. It feels like I'm not man enough here. Not being stealth feels like being naked. I don't like it.

Part of me wants to talk about my experiences as a trans man because it is a unique expierence that needs to be known, but at the same time I feel like as soon as I tell people I'm trans I automatically become Man Lite™ and a bunch of assumptions are made about me. And then I'm not man enough and am not treated as any other man would be treated. I wish T would do its magic already. I'm constantly feeling dysphoric these days.

i have a decent amount of acne after starting T. I wash my face every night with a cleanser scrub thing but still get lots of blackheads and pimples. Any tips at how to minimize this?

ive been ten months on T, got plenty of new hair everywhere except my face. havent even gotten one new hair there. all the men in my family have no trouble growing facial hair. why tf am i not getting a single one

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/18976375

> Transgender issues largely absent from the DNC

This is what I wear most of the time. I'm too paranoid to post my face at the present, but how am I doing otherwise?

https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEVE52T https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEVE52U https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEVE52V https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEVE52W https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEVE52X

I've been having new permanent freckles appearing on my body since starting T. Is this a thing anybody else has expierenced

Is hims minoxidil acceptable for facial hair growth? I tried rosemary oil but so far nothing has improved. I'm also unable to upload photos. I don't know where else to ask about it so I'm sorry this is off topic. I get this message: {"data":{"msg":"Failed with status exit status: 1","files":null},"state":"success"}

I'm new and wondering if it's allowed to post photos and ask if you pass, like on r/ftmpassing

For those of you who don't know, the Blahaj Zone admin team runs a matrix space for gender diverse folk. Similar to lemmy, it's designed with a few "official" channels, but is otherwise a community curated space, with channels run by our members. You don't have to be a blahaj zone user to join.

If you're already a matrix user, you can head straight to our application room https://matrix.to/#/#gv-apply:chat.blahaj.zone, or by searching for #gv-apply:chat.blahaj.zone from within your matrix client.

If you're new to matrix, you can find some more details and an instruction video on how to get up and running here https://chat.blahaj.zone/c/genderverse/

We need more transmasculine people (and people in general) on here. If you know a transmasculine person please get them to check this place out. Spread the word!

Annoyed with tgsupply for very long order wait times and being out of stock of almost everything I was gonna get but this article is helpful nonetheless.

It's been about six and a half months that I've been on T and I have seen great progress.

I have been on 25mg of 1% gel this entire time, but my T levels (last time they were checked, which has been a while) have shown up in normal cis male levels, so it seems that my body is processing it as it would a normal dose (50mg of 1%).

My voice has changed some and singing got a lot harder. It's gotten better since but is still not where I would like it to be. I hear it'll get better with time. I think I will likely end up a baritone (pre-t was a tenor on the high end)

Been getting hairier, but not much substantial growth on my face. Mainly on my stomach. Arm and leg hair has gotten thicker but since it's blond it's not very noticeable.

Shoulders look somewhat broader. My chest has gotten substantially smaller and looks more like moobs than boobs now. Other than that body fat redistribution has been slow and is not happening as quickly as I would like.

Self image has improved a lot. I can stand to look at myself in the mirror without immediately recoiling now. I can actually bear to look at photographs of myself now, even when I'm not binding and am in PJs. I see me in those photos, a guy, not some external otherworldly being who I don't immediately recognize. That has made me have to face some of my flaws that I previously ignored and discounted because I was so separated from my sense of self. It's painful, but the good kind that helps you to grow.

Bottom growth has definitely happened, and my junk is definitely bigger. Acts more like a penis now with erections and the likes. Gets a prickly feeling from time to time which is uncomfortable. I'm assuming that means growth.

Face looks more masc, acne is different. I get neck acne now and it tends to be flatter than it was before.

Definitely have boy stank now. I smell pretty bad after less time sweating. More "sour" body odor.

My hairline is slowly receding. It looks good for now but it will likely progress till I'm bald. Oh well.

All and all, I feel like it takes a lot less effort to pass now. That frees up a lot of physical and emotional effort that I previously devoted to passing and I can now live more freely. I've still got a long ways to go but progress is slow and steady.

I recently got this STP from rodeoh and I'm having trouble with leakage. Granted, I've only used it a handful of times in the shower, but I find my stream is too strong and it overflows the basin of the STP before it can exit the shaft and then it leaks out everywhere.

What are some tips to mitigate that? (Additional general STP tips are also highly welcome)

I'm curious what yalls expierence with this is

I got this "binder" recently. I like it better than any one I've had so far (I'd estimate that I've gone through about eight from various brands).

Pros:

-Very breathable, can exercise in it without feeling like death

-Not terrible in hot weather

-Doesn't show under a lot of shirts, though if you have a shirt with a wide neck it'll show, but does look like an undershirt as opposed to a bra since the neck is high.

-Helps with hiding hip fat

-Feels natural. I forget I'm wearing this sometimes. Probably would be fine sleeping in it as well, though it's good practice to take breaks.

Cons:

-If you have a bigger chest this isn't gonna do the best of jobs binding since it's got less compression than a typical binder. It's still not the worst option in that case, but you won't look completely flat. It's worked well for me flatness wise.

-I wouldn't wear this by itself because it doesn't fit like a regular shirt. Definitely looks an undergarment.

-It smells like a McDonald's playground right out of the package. I recommend you add baking soda into the wash to get the smell out faster.

-I suspect this will stretch out the longer I use it. The solution is to dry it on low as opposed to air dry it. It's got cotton in it so it'll shrink.

I recommend you only get it in black or white if your concern is passing. A lot of cis men will wear undershirts (typically in white, sometimes black, but never in nude).

If you're in-between measurements, order a size up. I made the mistake of getting a size down and I wasn't even able to get it over my head. Had to exchange it which took a while.

If you're interested in a binder with flatter coverage I will post a review of the underworks ultimate binder if requested. Underworks is by far my favorite binder brand for many reasons.

1 month update: it still works well. Am happy with my purchase.

I found this to be helpful. I've been having a lot of anxiety around my voice changing so some sort of info on what to expect made me feel better.

Hi, I'm Zeke. I'm 32 and last year I finally came to the conclusion that I am transmasc after years of being unhappy with who I was and how I looked. I've done so much research into it, but I'm still left with questions. First off, I should say that I have opted not to do HRT. HRT has too many health risks that I can't take due to heart related issues that run in my family. It's not worth that risk to me. So I'm trying a different route.

I've decided to go the route of surgery w/ changes to how I dress and how I get my hair cut. I've lost about 18.6lbs out of 25lbs to get my top surgery and so far it has been really good for me health wise and affirming wise. I'm so close to the first step and I can't wait for the positive effects especially since my bust size causes physical discomfort and shortness of breath so it's a two in one benefit. My questions for this one is "Does silicone gel work better than lotion for scars?" and "Are you comfortable being topless for swimming/beach visits?"

Now here's where I most uncomfortable because I've heard of people being negative about it, but I plan to get vocal surgery to deepen my voice. Here's where my questions come in. Has anyone else gotten this surgery? If so, what's it like and what were your experiences with recovery? How different has it made your voice?

I just wonder if others have chosen the surgical route. I don't have anyone or anywhere else to ask these questions so I figured I'd drop them here. Thank you for any answers!

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/13674539

> Join the Trans Housing Network matrix room > > If you are having issues finding housing as a trans person or would like to help others, consider joining this new matrix chat room. > > Sharing and updoots appreciated.

I have heard a lot of contradictory things on this subject. "It'll happen in six months" or "You have to lose weight and gain it back for it to happen in a reasonable amount of time"

What's the truth about this? What's your experience with it?

Oh beautiful hair on mine legs,

Your presence gives me joy,

Darker and thicker you spread each day,

In order to help me grow into a boy

Hi

With warm weather just around the corner, that means that the dysphoria hoodie must be retired. Any insight on styling and types of clothing that help with achieving a straight figure but won't overheat?

I'd like to grow my hair out more when the T starts to kick in. I've had my hair cut as short as can be without looking like a buzz cut. I generally pass well with this haircut.

Problem is, I'm not passionate about the cut. It's fine I guess but I don't feel attractive or self expressive with it. Definitely would rather pass than have a haircut I love, but there'll come a time where I can experiment more without risking my passing. I've got nice, wavy hair and it seems like it's going to waste being so short.

Any of you fellas have suggestions for long-ish haircuts/styles that are still very masculine? I've always been captivated by 60/70s men's fashion, hair included, but I'm open to other things too.