Bipolar Disorder

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I was diagnosed with cyclothymia years ago. I am usually very stable although on rare occasions I push myself and I become hypomanic. It's caused by not sleeping at home for a few weeks and my herniated discs start acting up. Bonus if I am social and am having a good time. I have decided to seek professional help so I can have meds available next time it occurs however I'm 14 days out from seeing anyone. For now, it is very difficult to shut down my brain to sleep. I've been trying calming music, exercise, meditation and it's helpful but not enough. I took ltheanine, magnesium, valerian root and benedryl last night and even after that my synapses were firing so fast it took me hours to fall asleep. I've been getting 5-6 hours of sleep each night, which is good for me compared to past times.

Any advice? Thank you

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I've been in therapy for 10 years, and with my current therapist for 4 of them. I love him and he's great, and don't get me wrong therapy is a life saver, but I recently hung out with a childhood friend and we talked about some deep things. My therapist is a pro and doesn't offer advice other than helping perspective shifts, but my friend made some observations and suggestions that hit home. He just straight up said "huh, it sounds like you should call your mom more" and "you know, I see what you do and I don't think the weed has been stopping your productivity, but if it's in the way of happiness you need to do what you need to do" (my big thing with weed was I would kick myself for not getting shit done while high).

I realized I haven't really opened up much to friends and partners, primarily because I'd say "I'll just hold this for therapy". Way long ago I dated someone who was very "I'm not your therapist, please leave that for Tuesday", and I kinda kept that. It's easy for me to talk to someone who doesn't know anyone in my life and I trust will be neutral, but at the same time I have had trouble communicating with people in my outside life.

I dunno, just was a thought.

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