You don't have to shoulder that burden alone, my friend

I can fuck yourself when you get tired. We're in this together

They all had engaging soundbites, yes they did!

Ectoplasm is essentially ghost jizz & J-Dog is the jizziest dude in the afterlife

You know, I've been waiting for something to top spaghetti hentai and I think we found it

Nepotism is so dope, you get to do whoever you want.

Am I right, guys cousins?

Kinda ironic that Amazon.com is killing its namesake through its carbon footprint

Your self-awareness is a good sign. My predecessor was a self-taught cowboy coder with no one to draw comparisons with. He was the lead (read: only) software engineer at my company, barring fresh graduates that didn't know any better.

Then I came along to point out all of his anti-patterns & cruft. By that point, he was too entrenched & self-assured in his abilities to listen to reason. Some people have imposter syndrome, others are imposters that failed upwards in spite of their incompetence.

Sean, if you're reading this - fuck you. I'm still coming across code you refuctored

What? I thought airplane mode was so that you can fly the plane and give the pilots a break.

I've been holding my phone perfectly still in coach the entire time. Why didn't anyone tell me?

My head canon says that televangelists like Kenneth Copeland have this quote mounted on their wall.

It's a nice affirmation to return home to, after a long day of grifting their congregation.

Hey, do you think these junkies go back to their crack houses & make mixtapes for each other?

Now that's what I call smash & grab music

But think about it. If we were the same, then we could both go fuck ourselves.

It'll be like killing two birds with one penis, y'know?

Imagine being able to trade in your college degree for a newer model

My headcanon says that Miyamoto was fixated on the name Zelda long before realizing it was a woman's name. Then he said "fuck it" and threw a princess in there.

I know that he actually took the name from Zelda Fitzgerald, but this is funnier.

We can all date ourselves by realizing that this episode is old enough to drink

https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Cockroaches#:~:text=Cockroaches%20are%20creatures%20who%20appear,Man%20and%20Barnacle%20Boy%20IV.%22

thanksweshoulddothisagainsometimeillcallyou

My only regret was not watching it while tripping balls

Why should we do anything? It's our digestive system that sucks.

"I quite enjoy being the meat in this sandwich, yes I do."

If these smart washers are so damn smart, how come my shirts still have pit stains?

Do Pokemon ever get so obese and lethargic that they don't even vocalize their full names, anymore?

I bet this fat MFer just says "Pi" all the time

I hope it was one of those poops where you felt lighter afterwards, and that wiping afterwards wasn't an ordeal