LadyAutumn @lemmy.blahaj.zone Trans woman - 9 years HRT
Intersectional feminist
Queer anarchist
I'm reading up to try and understand a bit more where you're coming from. Do you have any links that expand on this? Ableism is 100% unacceptable here, and I do understand how "narcissist" can be used as a pejorative or to dismiss someone who doesn't have NPD. I just hadn't heard it referred to as a slur before. So yeah if you could point me in the direction of some more info I'd appreciate that.
You're misunderstanding what exactly they were referring to, the modern trad wife movement, which is literally about giving up your rights to a man. You literally said in your next comment that you didn't even read what they said. Why are you acting like you know what you're talking about if you didn't even read it?
I also really think you need to check yourself on the "it's your fault conservatives make wild accusations about queer people" bit there. Just really not okay to try and lay blame at their feet for that. Like do you have any idea how exploitative that is? "You're contributing to the transphobic hate movement unless you change your opinion" is basically what you're saying. Which is a really fucked up thing to say to a trans person. Our oppression is NOT our fault.
If only he had done this months ago when his polling was still bad. Now the time pressure is huge. I hope they can piece something together. Harris needs to start immediately if it's going to be her.
I mean. Yes. But Hitler and Mussolini are literally not comparable to any other human ever, alive or dead? Like you can't grab any random human and expect them to be as comparably evil as Hitler lol you can do a lot better than him to have a species of creature named after.
Wild that their excuse is "no we won't rename them because some day the people we rename them after might be just as hated as Adolf Hitler and Bennito Mussolini.". Which implies that they MUST name them after other people and not, you know, anything else. It also implies that Hitler and Mussolini are just 2 random guys from the past, like they aren't nearly universally considered 2 of the most evil humans ever.
Yeah some 95% of our end user devices (>8000) have the F8 prompt. Logistics is losing their minds about the prospect of sending recovery USBs to roughly a thousand locations across NA.
Working on our units. But only works if we are able to launch command prompt from the recovery menu. Otherwise we are getting a F8 prompt and cannot start.
How about we just do away with landlords entirely and make every property by default mortgagable so that apartment dwellers at minimum wage can still recoup some of their monthly housing costs when selling the apartment. There's no reason this can't be done. Most cheap old low-end apartments are worth relatively little (dependent on location and other factors, but still). If the market was flooded with them due to redistribution of shelter and an end to landlording, the prices would drop much further, potentially making theoretical down payments comparable with the first month's rent + damage deposit. With the added bonus that no one steals your monthly payments. Housing co-ops are also great. There's just no reason for landlords to exist. Shelter is a human right, and there's no reason for a renting class to exist except to serve the interests of private landlords and enable the existence of a permanently impoverished working class.
Long story short, no. Nazis cannot be shown compassion. See, the reason we've even gotten to this point is because Nazis have been allowed to encroach more and more into public life. The more tolerable it is to be a Nazi, the faster they will spread their propaganda and the larger their numbers will spread.
A white supremacist can quit the ideology nominally, but the harm they did can literally never be erased and I have absolutely no compassion for someone who ever thought it was acceptable to adopt ideologies like that about the rights of other people. I accept that some kind of redemption can exist for them, but I will never trust them to hold any office or even to be allowed to promulgate ideas within society.
The worldview of fascists is unfettered hatred for anything that doesn't adhere to their hierarchy. It is promoted by conspiracies and religious dogma. It is not a normal political ideology. It doesn't recruit by appealing to peoples opinions on policy or on the function of the government. It recruits by promoting subversive conspiracies about minorities. It recruits by appealing to bigotry and disgust that bigots already feel towards minorities.
You can not talk someone out of being indoctrinated into those things. It's not possible. Some will decide to listen, few will ever consider they might have been wrong, and the overwhelming majority won't even look at you. Someone trying to deradicalize them is just another part of the 'deep state' or the 'kabbal', etc. It's a random chance. Nazis can radicalize people in a deliberate way. We can not deradicalize Nazis in a deliberate way. Nazis should not be tolerated or accepted in any way by society. They should be ostracized and ejected from society in every sense. Being a Nazi should be illegal, just believing in or promoting the ideology itself. The very existence of fascist ideology is a slow and steady decline towards the end of any kind of democracy and mass death. Their ideology is poison.
Yeah like it's not always a bad thing to commit resources with less than perfect efficiency. Having renewable energy is better than having none every time.
It's not so much that they're rare as there is a known limited supply of them, and the means of harvesting them currently creates a lot of pollution. Fossil fuels are obviously worse in this regard. And even nuclear has a limited supply in terms of naturally available fuel sources.
Renewable energy should be operated in the manner that best protects the environment, and we should be trying to waste as little possible in operating it. For those reasons, I think efficiency and sunlight hours are important considerations. The fossil fuel industry is extremely wasteful and destructive. The renewable industry should be the opposite of that.
Small solar installations of a few panels, sure like they don't need perfect efficiency. But if we're committing hundreds or even thousands of panels to an installation? We should maximize efficiency.
Depends. Are there lots of tall buildings around the parking lot? Solar panels are made of a lot of rare metals and so we have to be very selective about where we install them to maximize energy output. For this region large open spaces near the equator work well. Not that they can't work elsewhere, or couldn't work over a parking lot, but there's a lot of variables that have to be considered on each individual level.
The term corruption doesn't even begin to cover it. The man is a paid actor. A rubber stamp for republican party political positions.
Don't date conservatives, don't sleep with them, don't befriend them, don't associate with them, being MAGA should result in your total ostracization. Unless you're in a situation where you have to, where cutting ties or ending the relationship/friendship will make you unsafe or put your livelihood or your home life at risk, you should cut them off. I cut ties with a lot of old friends who became conservatives. It's not a normal tolerable thing to be conservative. No one who believes the things they do should be tolerated. Their beliefs should, at the least, come at the cost of their relationships and friendships.
Conservatives do not respect human rights and human dignity. They do not believe that men and women are equal, that rich and poor are equal, or that black people and white people are equal. They'll make a facade of tolerant behavior that immediately crumbles under any scrutiny to show their bigotry. These bigots have governed every conceivable aspect of our lives for far too long.
I love Danny ❤️ his performance as Raul in FNV is one of my favorites in the entire series. It wasn't a pivotal role in the central story, but he's just such a genuine actor and he made the character very memorable.
Youre so beautiful 💗 I absolutely adore your hair!! It suits you so well girlie 😊
Trans women or trans feminine people is fine. The other way you've been seemingly corrected towards is reminiscent of "TIM" and "TIF" which are two transphobic terms meant to invalidate trans people.
Your little "less so from the T part" belies something of your beliefs here. You also, again, have no clue what you're talking about. Living in a particular area does not instill in you broad understandings of the sociopolitical beliefs of some demographic. Just that the people you've met in that area have, in your perception, been more likely to hold those views.
Does not pan out in reality. I have a feeling I know how you're going to respond to this. I'd love to see you prove that inkling wrong.
Idk what trans women you have met but conservative views are extremely unpopular in the entirety of the transgender community. Being alt-right would get you entirely ostracized and barred from accessing most trans communities and spaces. Queer people are significantly less likely to be conservative than cisgender heterosexual people.
I also have no clue why you describe trans women that way. "t-female-presenting people". You can just call us trans women, or transfeminine people if you're including feminine non-binary people as well.
Yeah. I think one fantastic step is not to outsource this to people in countries who can be paid several orders of magnitude lower than the minimum wage they can be paid in the states (which is already pitifully low).
I also feel like this can't be someone's full time job. You just can't do this full time. People who do content moderation should be rotated on and off of checking content. They also shouldn't have KPI metrics. They should have enough time to process after seeing one of these things. Whole thing is criminally inhumane.
And yeah, idk why AI can't auto-remove video/image content and it's only human reviewed if it's appealed.
Idk it's not the worst name ever. Definitely sounds like a "kooky millennial parents wanted an interesting name" name. But there's worse. Much worse. He should've told her where it came from though, kinda a dumb thing to not involve your wife in. You know. The name of her child.
Trying to psych myself up to go swimsuit shopping this Friday 🙃 I promised myself this year I'd finally do it but I am sorta nervous.
I havent gone swimming in around a decade, and now that I'm a little over a year post up I really want to but I'm still so nervous to actually go and buy a swimsuit. 😅 there's something intimidating or nerve wracking about the process.
Anyone have experiences buying swimsuits? Is there any tips going in I should know? I think I know what style I want, a 2 piece with high waisted bottoms and a top with an underwire.
Just a little check-in post. How's everyone's week going? :)
I was thinking of making a community engagement post last week in the run up to the Easter weekend and transgender day of visibility, but it got lost under a recent promotion at work and a few busy days.
So yeah how was your Easter weekend / TDoV? 😊 Most of my family is on vacation so I just had a quiet weekend at home with my partner. All the drama that went down with TDoV landing on Easter Sunday was.. unsettling to say the least. I hope everyone was able to weather that storm of hate and propaganda safely.
Format for requesting engagement has been finalized.
Hello everyone,
Just wanted to quickly add that the finalized format for requesting engagement has been decided. A commenter in the other thread suggested a similar format. (Thank you @[email protected])
At the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the following.
[Requesting Engagement from _________]
For clarity purposes, this is the official way to request specific engagement groups. I'll respect other methods, but this way, it keeps things nice and transparent.
As of now we are allowing posters to request engagement from specific groups of people (eg. gender diverse people)
Hi everyone,
I've been thinking over how to address large amounts of outside engagement disrupting the safety of our community. As Lemmy is a large space that extends well beyond the borders of our community, when posts hit front page we often start getting a lot of engagement on posts by people outside of the transfeminine experience. Often well-meaning people engage here and say things that are insensitive, require OP to further explain themselves and their experiences unrelated to the topic of the post, or disrupt the safety of the space for transfeminine people.
This is a problem that I'm taking seriously. The purpose of this community as I see it is and has always been to provide a safe supportive community to transfeminine people. So with that in mind posters are now allowed to request engagement from specific groups on their post. This can be gender diverse people, trans people with unsupportive parents, trans parents, people who have struggled with addictions, trans people of color, etc.
I've seen a few people make comments on engagement issues lately and so I've decided that this course of action makes the most sense to preserve the safety of the community while still allowing engagement from other people when that engagement is wanted.
How you choose to make this clear is for the moment up to you. You can add a tag in your title, state so explicitly in your title, or write it somewhere in your post (try and do so clearly as I might not have the chance to fully read your post in time).
Moderator action may be taken per your request. I'm choosing to keep a steady eye on how this affects the community and to ensure that it isn't being weaponized against marginalized people within our community. I ask that everyone is patient and expect some adjustment to this new rule. A certain amount of discretion will also be applied on a per incident basis, this is not a rule banning all non-transfems from the community just providing posters a choice with regards to engagement.
This new change has been added to the sidebar and is considered effective immediately.
Feedback on this change would be great. If you think some aspect of this should be changed or you have concerns please let us know.
How's everyone's week going thus far? :) Little bit of a pre-holiday check in and discussion.
It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.
Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓
But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.
This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.
I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.
What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.
Considering Vocal Feminization Glottoplasty, curious what others have heard or experienced themselves about vocal fem surgery in general.
I'm starting to hit a bit of a wall with voice training lately. I can find my resonance, I can adjust the positioning of my vocal cords and where my voice is coming from. I occasionally pass on the phone, and I work all day over the phone so I do get pretty regular indirect feedback in terms of how my voice gets me gendered.
But I am very much struggling with pitch and maintaining consistent pitch. It's just not happening and even when everything else is perfect my pitch will slip, and then I'll get misgendered. I cant seem to find a specific pitch and comfortably rest there. I'm also 8 years in at this point, I've been doing voice training for a long time and I just think when it comes down to it I might be one of the women for whom training alone just isn't enough.
I've done a lot of research into glottoplasty and find myself in a financial position where I could hypothetically afford it. Most accounts from people who've had the procedure seem to indicate they've had great results with it, but there's a lot of people who swear that it'll basically render me mute if I get it done. Its minimally invasive and the surgeon I'm considering has good rapport with his patients and I'm confident he'd do great. But on the whole I'm hesitating a little bit and curious what other people think. I do IT work that involves using the phone quite a bit, but if I had to take time off work for a little while that would almost certainly be fine. I don't sing and really don't have any concerns with regard to vocal range either.
Are you considering vocal feminization surgery? Why or why not? Have you experienced similar things with regards to voice training, or has training alone been enough for you?
Feel free to chime in with whatever thoughts you have on the operation or voice training in general.
As of today transfem has a new moderator! :)
I'd like to welcome @[email protected] to the transfem moderation team! 🤗 Ada is one of the admins of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance and a very active member of the transfem community. She has already been providing me with assistance in running the community and answering any questions that I have, she's a perfect fit for our second moderator.
The addition of Ada to our moderation team helps maintain the safety of our community and our readiness for more complex moderation issues. Please as always report any rule breaking you see and we will address it as soon as possible.
Thank you so much Ada for joining the moderation team! 😄
Happy friday everyone! :) tell me about your week!
I hope everybody's had a great week so far. I wanted to make some kinda post to engage everyone in a casual context. I was originally going to ask in the title "who has been really supportive in your life recently?" So if you want to answer that I suppose you can lol.
I myself have to work all weekend but its the evening shifts so I'll be fine. My best friend has been especially supportive of me lately, she took me out shopping when I was in between paychecks and even bought me a couple crop tops I wanted. I really appreciate her being so willing to do those kinds of things with me even tho she has social anxiety. Having supportive people in your helps a lot.
2K subscribers, growing concerns over transphobia, future moderation issues
Hello everyone! 😊
I wanted to make a post reaching out to the community after we recently passed the milestone of 2K subscribers! I'm very happy with how this community has grown and become a place for transfeminine people to vent and connect and share trans joy.
With the continued growth of the community and the recent wave of new subscribers we have been having some issues with trolls coming in to the community to bully or harass our users. Please be vigilant of transphobic trolls and report any and all rule breaking content that you see. That includes bullying comments, dismissive comments, gate keeping comments - even if those comments are coming from other trans people. Report them, this community is first and foremost meant to be supportive and maintaining that is a priority.
Along those lines, please don't overly engage with anyone coming here to cause trouble or to bully someone. It's not worth your time and just draws more attention to our community as a space these trolls are drawn to. Its entirely possible at some point in the future we may face brigading or other harder to deal with moderation issues. And to that end I will at some point in the future be looking to add another moderator. As of the moment I dont feel that's necessary, but as we continue to grow and our moderation needs expand I will continually reassess.
I'm also happy to allow image posts in this community, but I did recently add a new rule of no NSFW image posts. And we haven't had any yet, but bear that in mind as any that come up will be removed. I think that having image posts is fine in general, though I'm interested to hear if other people think this should be a text post only community more similar to r/mtf.
DAE have to constantly adjust their bra all day? even with a bra that seems to fit properly when everything's in place?
My right breast just cannot stay in the cup and starts to slowly slip partly down as the day goes on. Ive even used the calculator at r/abtf and tried on probably a dozen sizes in my search. This bra is perfect when everything's in place, but give me an hour and I'll inevitably have to awkwardly find a chance to pull it back up again 🙃🙃 very frustrated today lol
How's everyone's Monday going? Anyone have any moments of euphoria today?
This place gets quiet sometimes... I hope everyone's having a good day!! 🤗
Feature request - swipe from left to exit a post.
Seems weirdly unintuitive that we can't already. Its also weird that swiping from the left while in your profile profile doesn't pull out the sidebar.
Would it be possible to have Jerboa remember how you previously sorted a community?
So say my main page is sorted TopSixHours, but I open a community and change the sort there to New. Would it be possible for Jerboa to continue to sort that community by New when I open it in the future?
New resources added to the sidebar. Please let me know of any others you believe should be listed and I will consider them.
I'm having trouble finding good intro resources for parents of trans kids, so if anyone has any handy please send them my way.
I also added a hotline section based on [email protected]. If anyone else can think of any UK or other international hotlines you think should be listed, please let me know. I also tried to list times when 2SLGBT services are specifically available.
I looked into each resource to try and come up with rough descriptions for each of them, if you think I misrepresented or miscommunicated what a particular resource is or does - let me know :)
I also decided to add a specific rule against all forms of debate or gatekeeping. This group is and should be a welcoming supportive environment for all transfeminine people.
Hello everyone!
I'm LadyAutumn and I'm the moderator of this community. I hope everyone has enjoyed their time on Lemmy thus far. This space is very much still developing, but its nice feeling like a transfem community is developing here.
I myself migrated to lemmy from reddit just last week, and created this community initially to mimic the subreddit r/mtf. I used that subreddit a lot, and loved having a place to talk with other people who understand what I'm going through. I knew if I'm going to use this platform long term, that on lemmy I would want a community for transfeminine people.
This space isn't on reddit though, and isn't controlled by or related to the moderation team of r/mtf. So things here won't be exactly the same. I want this to be a community for news, for advice, for trans joy, for discussions and questions, and whatever else we want to have here. I want this space to be community controlled and for everyone to have an influence on what this community is and how it is moderated. That will mean polls and community posts and whenever they come up I'd encourage everyone to participate in them. This is a space for us, and we all should have a say.
Also thank you @[email protected] for hosting the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance that is hosting this community. She's doing this without any profit motive and has been working hard to keep up with the huge influx of users around here lately. She's awesome and has already been an active part of this community.
I figured I'd make a post sharing my perspective on this community and what I think it should be. If you have any thoughts or suggestions please feel free to share them. :)
The American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana sought the temporary injunction in its legal challenge of the Republican-backed law, which was enacted this spring amid a national push by GOP-led legislatures to curb LGBTQ+ rights.
The name of the community has been changed per the results of the poll, from here on out this community is the Transfem community!
The results of the poll showed a clear preference for the title to be Transfem. The link to the community will still show !mtf but everywhere else it will show "Transfem".
The results were:
Transfem - 41/53
MtF - 12/53
The banner has been updated to reflect the new community name. :)
This summer I'm challenging myself to not wear a hoodie every time I leave the house 😅
I always feel so much better when I wear clothes I like and don't feel way too warm in the heat. It's hard not to listen to the nagging voice in my head telling me that my shoulders look too big or that I'm drawing too much attention to myself. 🙃
Anyone else just... never go through the legal name change process? Its been like 7 years since I came out and I still haven't bothered with it.
Its hard to justify the cost mostly. It's also mildly amusing watching people stumble a bit if I have to show my ID for something. But getting called my deadname at the bank is starting to get tiresome 🙃
/c/mtf - A community for transfeminine people and experiences! :) All posters welcome, please read the sidebar.
A community for transfeminine people and experiences. All posters are welcome but posts should be relevant to the community. - Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone [/] instance. - Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated. - Please be kind and respectful to all. - Please tag NSFW topics....
Inspired by the mtf subreddit and hosted on the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
General link - MtF
Instance relative link - MtF