Skip Navigation
Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • I am too successful to stop.

    Every day I make hundreds of terrorists and their sympathizers angry. Their anger tastes sweet.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • Always take such accussations with a grain of salt as Hamas is known for lying about pretty much everything.

    Why Gaza-Citizens get handcuffed in Israel hospitals? Because Hamas, PLO and other Jihadists have used ambulances as car bombs in the past and wounded themselves to get close enough to kill Israeli doctors.

    And if the patients are unhappy about the Israeli treatment of wounded they are free to go to Egypt. Oh, wait, the other Arabs give a damned shit about the Gazans? Well, why would be that?

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • Always take such accussations with a grain of salt as Hamas is known for lying about pretty much everything.

    Why Gaza-Citizens get handcuffed in Israel hospitals? Because Hamas, PLO and other Jihadists have used ambulances as car bombs in the past and wounded themselves to get close enough to kill Israeli doctors.

    And if the patients are unhappy about the Israeli treatment of wounded they are free to go to Egypt. Oh, wait, the other Arabs give a damned shit about the Gazans? Well, why would be that?

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • You can not just go somewhere without a permission and occupy other peoples property.
    

    You absolutely can and people routinely do.

    And then you are regularly arrested for trespassing and damage to property.

    On the other hand, you can simply register the demonstration with the municipal office and then demonstrate in the designated area as often and as long as you want.

    Shame on you if you tell people to disregard the law, ending them up in jail.

    Chose your poison.

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • The suffering is 99% the fault of Hamas by starting a stupid genozidal campaign and then hiding behind civilians.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • I am utterly Pro-Palestinian. And therefore Hamas must go or else Palestine will never know peace again.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • Sure Hamas begs for a cease fire because Israel is tearing them a structurally superfluous new a-hole. They desperatelly need to restructure to fight harder.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

    1. Release all hostages
    2. Surrender and do no longer plan to genozide Israel.

    Then by international Law Israel has to stop fighting. But not one second earlier. International Law is sure about that. Then you have immediately peace. It is really so easy.

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • thats your kink, not mine.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • I am too successful to stop.

    Every day I make hundreds of terrorists and their sympathizers angry. Like you. Your anger tastes sweet.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • I write crime comedy shows for television.

    And HFY for HFY.

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • Gaza detainees shackled, blindfolded and in nappies at Israel hospital
  • Always take such accussations with a grain of salt as Hamas is known for lying about pretty much everything.

    Why Gaza-Citizens get handcuffed in Israel hospitals? Because Hamas, PLO and other Jihadists have used ambulances as car bombs in the past and wounded themselves to get close enough to kill Israeli doctors.

    And if the patients are unhappy about the Israeli treatment of wounded they are free to go to Egypt. Oh, wait, the other Arabs give a damned shit about the Gazans? Well, why would be that?

    Now ask yourself, what could Hamas do to stop the violence?

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • During all of this ask yourself one thing: What could Hamas do to stop the violence?

    Then protest against Hamas for bombing civilians. Current estimates are that they kill more civilians than the Israeli army and the total number of dead civilians is laughable low in light of the overall size of the operation.

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • During all of this ask yourself one thing: What could Hamas do to stop the violence?

    Dude, I fucking don't care for the tears of Hamas-Lovers. The international Law is harsh but straight forward: Israel has the right to self defend and if Hamas fights back by shooting its own people and hiding behind kids - their problem. The current objectives of Israel align perfectly with international Law:

    1. return of the hostages
    2. make Hamas a non-thread. Either by making Hamas surrender and return all weapons or by Hamas dying in g(l)ory and taking some of their civilians with them. See, I laughed my ass off when South Africa sued Germany for supporting Israel because the only outcome by Law would be "Germany is acting by the Law." the same will happen for the current case against Netanjahu - he might be a cretin but he is not a criminal. For Hamas though... I am pretty sure Den Haag will happy sue an arrest warrent for them. You hate this? Well, that is international Law.
  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • During all of this ask yourself one thing: What could Hamas do to stop the violence?

    But don't forget about the motorcycles. They do too.

    Also, protests are only legal if announced and held within the announced and accepted area.

    You can not just go somewhere without a permission and occupy other peoples property.

    The dudes could protest 365 days a year on roads where they have permission.

    They don't have permission and refuse to cooperate?

    Sack them. Fine them. Teach them.

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • Meanwhile, historians are amazed at the comparatively low civilian casualty in Gaza despite very problematic circumstances: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVcP_0xwNWs&t=5983

    Mind you, the Palestinians often behave very humanely: https://youtu.be/NVcP_0xwNWs?t=7403

    Oh, and because there are always questions about the author's past: https://youtu.be/NVcP_0xwNWs?t=8087

  • NYPD officer caught on video punching pro-Gaza protester during Brooklyn rally
  • Wait, is it suddenly illegal to protest in favour of a mass murdering genocidal terrorist organisation?

  • In this house we share the bananas
  • Orangs do that. One Orang is collecting food and giving to to another Orang building a bed from leaves.

    Why? Because the first Orang is better at collecting food and the second at building beds.

  • In this house we share the bananas
  • Actually all higher primates do capitalism. Bonobos pay with food for sex, Chipanzees pay with support for a higher rank, Orangs pay with food for other orangs making them a bad out of leaves. I suggest to read Barterverse: Galactic Economics 1: Happy Existence

  • HFY - Humanity Fuck Yeah! (Information about the community and rules)
  • You are correct to be careful with copyrightes content - and for simplicity we should treat "everything as copyrighted as long as not stated officially otherwise".

    Content out of copyright or free to distribute is always welcome as long as its creator is marked correctly. I have done that with "A pail of Air" on Lemmy and Reddit in the past (https://lemmy.world/post/4616294).

    Links to external content is appreciated if done right: Either post it in https://lemmy.world/post/121582 if it is just a single link (please still add a short description) or create a new topic if it is a collection of links.

    Linking to archive.org is totally OK.

  • Undocumented Buttons

    Undocumented Buttons

    "Globtroq, what are these buttons for?" asked the spindly Ognimalf named Bert, holding the pilot chair upside-down to his obese Adnap buddy, Globtroq. The unlikely duo owned a run-down repair shop for small spacecraft in the remote corners of the galaxy. Their business was far from glamorous; in fact, they spent most of their days fiddling with spaceships that had been acquired in rather dubious ways.

    Globtroq looked at the buttons: two green, two pink, one grayish. They were cleverly concealed beneath the obviously human pilot chair.

    “Dunno…” Globtroq mumbled, reaching towards the buttons.

    "Hell no, don't touch them!" Bert shrieked, pulling the chair away. "Last time you pressed an undocumented button in a human spaceship, you emptied the entire septic tank into our garage!"

    “Uhm, sorry, instinct…” grunted the portly Globtroq “Never seen such buttons. Don’t know.”

    Bert held the chair overhead, turned it around, then put it under the examination lamp and used the sonic scanner on it, looking for clues.

    "This doesn't make sense," he snorted in annoyance. "No labels, no cables. What are these buttons for?"

    The stubby Globtroq climbed on top of table and peered at the pilot chair. “Dunno… but they hid them well. Must be something very special. You know how humans are. Always doing something incredible stupid in a brilliant way or something brilliant in an incredible stupid way.”

    Meanwhile Bert flipped through the printed manual, gasping in frustration. "Crap! This manual is printed in 24 different human languages, and I can't read a single one of them. Globtroq, get me a dictionary."

    …ten hours later...

    "...and this button controls the windshield wiper speed," Bert finished, tossing the manual annoyed into a corner.

    Globtroq, scratching his fluffy behind, asked cluelessly, "Uh, Bert, I dozed off, did they mention anything about those buttons?"

    “NOTHING!” squeaked Bert “They fucking wrote NOTHING about buttons under the pilots chair!”

    "That's odd," Globtroq shrugged.

    “That’s not odd, that’s steaming Nacluv Shit!” a pretty pissed Bert snorted. Then he declared, holding the thick manual in his hand, "I'm going to translate the entire manual until I find out what these buttons are for!"

    "That's only the Quick-start Manual," Globtroq dryly stated, lifting a massive box filled with thousands of pages onto the table.

    The spindly Ognimalf suddenly grasped the enormity of the task before him, and the vibrant pink in his feathers faded away...

    …six days later…

    Bert's feathers had turned almost grayish as he studied the endless stack of manuals in front of him. His annoyed brooding was interrupted when Globtroq startled him by entering without knocking. As usual.

    "Globtroq, what the... who is that alien?" Bert asked, pointing at a newcomer.

    The fatty pointed back at his companion and replied dryly, “I found a human. It is a human pilot chair. A human should know about the buttons. Human, that spindly dude is Bert. Bert is not his real name but I am unable to pronounce his real name. Bert, that is human.”

    The human let out an amused chuckle and nodded at the spindly Ognimalf. "Hey there, I'm Max. Well, that's not my full name either, but Globtroq can't wrap his tongue around..."

    Max couldn't finish his sentence as Bert interrupted him, exclaiming, "Oh, by the feather gods! A human! I was going bonkers! Look, we've got this pilot chair from a human spaceship, and it has buttons that are nowhere to be found in any documentation. We've been at it for nearly a week, and…"

    "Hold on, buddy. I'm just a tourist; I know zilch about piloting a spaceship..." Max explained. However, seeing the color drain from Bert's feathers, he felt a pang of sympathy for the alien avian. "...but hey, I'll take a look and see what I can see, alright?"

    Globtroq happily led Max to the chair and showed him the buttons, while Bert looked at the ceiling and wallowed in despair.

    “Uhm, I have an assumption” Max stated “can I visit the cockpit for a moment?”

    A sulking Bert and an overjoyed Globtroq led him into the small cockpit, where Max promptly opened the glove compartment, retrieved something, asking, “You wouldn’t mind if I take one of these human snacks?”

    Bert just continued sulking while Globtroq happily took one of the small snacks offered by Max.

    "Tasty," Globtroq remarked.

    Max nodded in agreement and returned to the pilot chair “Cherry flavor. A bit past its prime, but still good.”

    Bert reluctantly followed, trying to sulk as hard as possible.

    And then, to everyone's surprise, Max spat out his snack and pressed it alongside the other buttons under the pilot's chair. It stuck.

    “Gentlebeings.” Max announced dramatically, "the individual who sold you this heap of junk was a downright repulsive being. These buttons? They're dried-up globs of chewing gum."

    --- The End ---

    2
    The Survivors

    The Survivors

    “How did your people survive your first contact with the humans?” Slaver Lord Abrax catches up with Guild Master Felbin right after the official part of the conference was over.

    “Hm?” the fat albino wombat wonders while munching fried roaches, looking puzzled into the face of the mighty reptilian warrior. “What do you mean? Survive?”

    “You said you made first contact recently with the humans, didn’t you?”

    “Oh yes. Weird people. Crossed into an exclusive trade zone inside our border, nibbled at some asteroids without asking. I send a scout ships, delivered an angry message to them. They were all ‘Oh, did we something wrong? You claim these? We need fuel, can we make a deal?’”

    Felbin shovels another hand full of roasted bugs into his mouth, munching happily.

    “So they were in a weak position? And you did press your advantage?”

    Between munching the wombat mumbles “Oh No. Their fleet was quite impressive. Two medium support carriers, around a dozen smaller escort ships, two dozen industrial ships. A lot more than we had at hand at that moment. We were quite surprised when they offered compensation for trespassing our territory and a pretty fair deal on keeping the resources. And they immediately entered trade talks with us.”

    “Stop bullshitting me old usurer!” the reptilian growls “How in the world did you force the humans into submission? When we learned of the humans we send a slaver fleet to their world, numbering hundreds of mighty warships, demanding 0,2% of their population per year as tribute. A very fair deal as you will agree!”

    The wombat did the equivalent of shrugging his shoulders “Well if you say so. How did it end?”

    “It ended terrible for them! We killed millions of them by our penal operation when they rejected our generous offer!”

    “Well, that is partially true but not the whole story.” Princess Shem, her large belly swollen by hundreds of eggs interrupts the discussion. Outranked, the Slaver Lord hissed in annoyance and fell silent.

    “They fought your fleet back with monstrous weapons, vaporising your mighty flagship with a single one of their ungodly ‘Nukes’, even ships dozens of miles away had their outer hulls molten by this single attack. After less than an hour your fleet had scattered. The biggest damage your fleet did was raining debris on their world, killing a couple of million unprepared civilians.”

    “How do you know…” the Slaver Lord gasps “Not a single Slaver made it back alive!”

    The princess bows down her antennas in shame “Because my father, the rightful ruler of my people, is currently prisoner of war in the hands of the humans. He watched your foolish posturing on television in his prison cell and was allowed to report the incident back to his home world as a deterrent against future aggression.”

    “Your people surrendered to the humans? How pitiful!” laughs the Slaver Lord.

    “Surrendered? No, we were simply overrun. And we most likely only got off easy because the humans decided you were a bigger threat.”

    The wombat looks at the princess in surprise “Oh, your people went at war with the humans too? But why?”

    “Territorial dispute. They settled a barren world in a remote system, we had a claim on it for centuries. In return we annexed one of their border colonies, arrested their officials and put them on trial.”

    Master Felbin put his empty bowl aside and reached for the wine. “Oh. I guess they send you an angry letter, did they?”

    “The letter was lacking all rules of court.” boasted the princess with her antennae twitching angrily “It made demands were praise was required and disputed the obvious. It was literally an insult. Can you imagine? They demanded ‘a diplomatic talk’ and ‘compensation’.”

    While grooming his fur Master Felbin dryly stated “Well, I know myself human diplomats and lawyers are a very special pest. The trade agreement we worked out with them is literally an epic in itself, surpassing absolutely any work of literature of my people in length and complexity. The chapter on the shape of bananas alone is over 1400 pages long. Thanks but no thanks."

    Felbin licked some wine before continuing "So you found their diplomats lacking and tried if their warriors were more amicable and found them lacking too?”

    The princess grumbles ashamed “We never met their warriors. They send a police assault unit and subdued our occupation force while we were hibernating…”

    Slave Lord Abrax laughed aloud “Oh yes, we also found out the hard way that humans do not hibernate like most others do. In fact they only need a light sleep to recover and not much of it anyway. Also they can go for days without sleep. Freck. To keep up with them we needed to outnumber them 10 to one, taking turns in sleeping 18 hours and fighting one hour. And then they still manage to outdo us most of the time.”

    Guild Master Felbin stopped licking at his expensive gobble of wine. “Aha, so you were pretty lucky when they offered you a somewhat fair peace deal?”

    “Ending slavery was not a ‘somewhat fair peace deal’” Abrax railed “Our whole society was based on exploitation of the weak and now even high warriors have to clean their houses themselves and pay for mere services like food preparation. This is utterly unacceptable!”

    “Oh dear, how pitiful you look.” Felbin giggled “And still both of you can be happy you survived your first contact with the humans almost intact.”

    “Like there is any bigger disgrace than having ones father being prisoner of war.” Princess Shem grumbled.

    “Or having to change your entire way of living.” Slaver Lord Abrax muttered.

    “Yes, I think I am the lucky one of us three” smirked Felbin “although I have regular nightmares about human paper work recently. But trust me, compared to the devourers, we all got off easy.”

    “The Devourers?” Abrax laughed “They are a myth. Parents tell their children about the Devourers when they don’t behave and need a good scare.” and with a mocking tone he continued “Head your parents words or the Devourers eat you!”

    Even Princess Shem proclaimed with fervour: "As if nature would even allow such horrors! Beasts the size of a house, attacking entire worlds in apocalyptic numbers and devouring everything in their path."

    “Oh, nonono. Devourers are not a myth.” the guild master explained “Yes, they haven’t swarmed in two centuries but my people still remember them from the old times when they crushed even the best defended worlds into dust during their reproduction cycle.”

    Looking for something, Felbin continued “Actually, have you seen the Human Ambassador? Or, to be more precise, his young daughter?”

    Shem turned her antennae towards the girl on the other side of the conference room: “She doesn't look anything special. For a human.”

    “Nonono, also not the daughter. Her pet. The six legged creature sitting on her shoulder?”

    Abrax and Shem looked puzzled at Guildmaster Felbin, then at the creature on the young girl's shoulder. The creature purred and played with the scraps of food the daughter offered to it.

    “That is what is left of the devourers after the humans have tamed them.”

    4
    Brexit Brainwash: How populism is defeating Britain

    You can activate automatically translated Subtitles.

    This is really a weird documentary. It is matter-of-fact, not really mocking but still... you watch it and are always close to laughing or crying. The whole thing is just too stupid.

    But then... Norway and Switzerland are doing something very similiar. They have voted for "We want all rights and obligations of the EU but no voting rights."

    You really can not make up how stupid populism is. And how much more stupid its voters are.

    0
    Zu doof zum Posten

    Ich gebe es auf. Ich bin zu doof in irgendeinem Forum einen Post abzusetzen. Ich glaube selbst dieser wird nicht durchgehen.

    Ich poste auf Heise dass die Moderation eigentlich gut geworden ist, zumindestens in den Themenforen und Newsforen. Aber auch dass Telepolis nach wie vor nur den Bodensatz der Antidemokraten anzieht und unlesbar ist - wer Telepolis kennt glaubt mir das ungesehen.

    Wurde gebannt für drei Tage :-)

    Ich will auf Reddit was posten. Abgelehnt, Regel Drölfzig. Angepaßt, Abelehnt, zu lang. Editiert, zu viele Umlaute, abgelehnt. Editiert, Regel soundso passt nicht. Anders formuliert, vom Moderator abgelehnt wegen Soapboxing, keine Ahnung was das ist aber auf Rückfrage bestätigt mir der Moderator dass kein Soapboxing vorliegt. Nochmal gepostet, hängt seit acht Stunden in der Moderation.

    Im Newbybereich gefragt wo man einfach mal posten und diskutieren ohne riesiges Regelwerk, abgelehnt wegen Regelverletzung. Anders formuliert, abgelehnt wegen "RTFM". das Fucking Manual gelesen, da steht nix zum Thema drin. Einen Moderator gefragt welchen Punkt er meint, gesperrt wegen Mobbing.

    Poste einen Witz in r/jokes, wird gesperrt ohne Begründung. Fünf Minuten später postet der Moderator den Witz und bekommt 500 Upvotes in einer Stunde.

    Jetzt schauen wir mal wie weit ich bei Lemmy und ngb.to komme. Ach, ich sehe gerade dass Golem jetzt auch ein paar Themenforen hat. Und wenn nichts mehr geht poste ich bei X. Das ist so broken die könnten meine Beiträge nichteinmal sperren wenn sie wollten.

    PS, diesen Beitrag nicht zu ernst nehmen. Ich bin ja selber grade am kaputtlachen.

    13
    Frauen...

    Meine Cousinen sind schon ein merkwürdiges Volk. Das Frauenvolk :-)

    Jeder in der Familie weis dass ich gut mit Technik kann. Also so richtig gut, mit Studium und 35 Jahren Berufserfahrung.

    Situation, Cousine ist nach Umzug etwas knapp an Geld. Beim Umzug geht der DVB-S-Receiver und der Fernseher kaputt. Was macht sie? Rennt zum Expert und sucht sich einen kleinen, veralteten Fernseher ohne DVB-S raus und einen Extra DVB-S Empfänger dazu. Nur einen 43 Zoll Fernseher weil sie ihn nicht tragen kann. Dass Expert liefert und ich auch jederzeit helfen kann und dass sie den 43-Zöller auch nicht tragen kann... ich frage nicht.

    Weil sie die dafür notwendigen €600 nicht dabei hatte geht sie zur Bank. Unterwegs laufen wir uns übern Weg und sie erzählt ihren Plan.

    Ich weise sie darauf hin dass ordentliche Fernseher einen DVB-S-Receiver eingebaut haben und dass das Gerät was sie angesehen hat maßlos überteuert ist. Ich besorge ihr aus dem Internet einen €300 Fenseher mit 50 Zoll ordentlicher Qualität mit DVD-S, 4k, USB-Recorder, Internet, Apps und sonstwas.

    Ihr Argument gegen den Kombifernseher war übrigens "Das ist mir zu kompliziert." Dass es anschliessend einfacher als vorher war hat sie selber überrascht. Dass ich ihr das vorher fünfmal gesagt habe hat sie aber schon vergessen.

    Sie hat einen alten Videorekorder und will ihn unbedingt am Fernseher anschliessen um Sendungen aufzunehmen. Ich erkläre ihr dass Videorekorder aus den 1980ern nicht mehr an modernen Fernsehern funktionieren und schenke ihr eine alte 160GByte USB-HD um darauf Videos aufzunehmen. Mediathek hat sie auch.

    Nach zwei Jahren nehme ich die USB-Platte wieder mit weil sie diese nicht einmal verwendet hat. Genau so wie die Mediathek. "Das ist mir zu kompliziert". Ja, der rote "Record"-Knopf ist schon sehr kompliziert. Der blaue Knopf "Mediathek" ist ein Rätsel.

    Nun gut. Sie will sich ein Festnetztelefon holen. Ich frage sie ernsthaft: Wozu? Da fiel ihr nichts drauf ein. Ich schlage vor einfach nur das Mobiltelefon zu verwenden. Aber das klingt so schlecht. Sie hält mir einen uralten Nokia-Knochen vor die Nase. Ich frage was sie pro Monat zahlt. €40 seit 15 Jahren. Habe sie zu einem €150-Smartphone und einem €10-WinSIM-Tarif mit 15GByte überredet. Festnetztelefon fiel ersatzlos weg. Sie hat nie wieder danach gefragt.

    Jetzt lacht sie sich im hohem Alter nochmal einen neuen Lebensgefährten an. Das erste was er macht: Er drängt sie sich ein Festnetzanschluß für €45 zu holen weil sie damit Fernsehen kann. Dass sie das seit fünf Jahren ohnehin mit ihrem Fernseher über Smartphone-Tethering kann es aber nie verwendet hat - "das ist doch kein richtiges Fernsehen" sagt ihr neuer Freund.

    Achja, vor einem halben Jahr kauft sie sich für €160 ein neues Smartphone. 6GByte RAM, 128GByte Flash, 256GByte SD-Karte mit ihrer Lieblingsmusik Update-Support für fünf Jahre. Neuer Freund: Das ist doch ein Müllhandy.

    Und hält stolz ein Iphone Xirgendwas hoch. Gebraucht gekauft für €400. Mit weniger RAM, weniger Flash und nichteinmal halb so lange Support. Das ist ein echtes Handy. Cousine geifert gierig nach dem Gerät und fragt mich ob ich ihr so eins besorgen kann. Ja aber dann sind natürlich alle Deine Bilder und Filme und sonstwas weg und Deine Musik paßt auch nicht drauf. Der neue Bekannte verspricht ihr dass das alles ganz einfach ist. Und hat es selbst nicht geschafft die Daten seines alten Iphone 7 auf das Xirgendwas umzuziehen.

    Nur zur als Info: Er ist angestellter Malermeister, ich bin studierter EDV- und Telco-Berater und Techniker.

    Jetzt ratet mal auf wessen Rat sie hört.

    Nun, für mich ist der Käse gebissen. Solange sie auf ihn hört helfe ich bei technischen Fragen nicht mehr. Er schwatzt ihr gerade noch Netflix auf. Ich bin jetzt schon zu 100% sicher dass sie das nie verwenden wird, genau so wenig wie sie das neu bestellte Festnetz nutzt um Fernsehen zu guggen.

    Michael Mittermeier hätte seine Freude an ihr: Sie ist Fleisch-Wurscht-Fachverkäuferin.

    11
    Schneechaos in München

    Ich kann mich nicht erinnern dass wir jemals in einer Nacht so einen Schneefall hatten. 40-50cm und die Strassen völlig unpassierbar.

    Ein paarmal in meiner Jugend gab es ähnliche Schneefälle nach mehreren Tagen Schneefall.

    Meinen Gehweg frei räumen war heute eine richtige Kraftübung. Eine Schneeschaufel ist dabei kaputt gegangen. Aber mein Nachbar hat es noch schwerer, der wohnt an einem Eckgrundstück mit viermal so viel Strasse und einer Bushaltestelle die er komplett frei halten muss.

    Schön ist die Schneelandschaft aber trotzdem. Man möchte nochmal Kind sein und einfach in die weise Pracht reinspringen. Ich glaub das mache ich jetzt einfach mal.

    Schneechaos München 1

    Mehr Bilder

    42
    The mathematician who got into a fight with a triangle...

    Philosopher: Hey, did you hear about the mathematician who got into a fight with a triangle?

    Mechanic: No, what happened?

    Philosopher: Well, they squared off, but things quickly spiralled out of control. The triangle kept shouting, "Hypotenuse, hypotenuse!" while the mathematician tried to reason with it using the Pythagorean theorem. But instead of resolving the conflict, it just led to a series of nonsensical equations and abstract symbols being thrown around.

    Mechanic: That sounds odd. What did the mathematician do next?

    Philosopher: Oh, you won't believe it. They decided to introduce an imaginary number into the mix, hoping it would diffuse the situation. But instead, it only made things more complex and surreal. The triangle started spinning in circles, shouting, "I'm acute, I'm obtuse, I'm everything and nothing at the same time!"

    Mechanic: That's... bizarre. Did they ever find a resolution?

    Philosopher: Well, eventually, the mathematician tried to divide by zero, thinking it would bring harmony through undefined infinity. But it only caused a cosmic glitch in the fabric of reality, and the entire scene dissolved into a flurry of nonsensical symbols, abstract shapes, and existential angst.

    Mechanic: Wow, that's... um, not interesting at all. I don't even know how to respond to that.

    Philosopher: Exactly! That's the beauty of mathematics meeting Dadaism. It's like a joke that isn't funny but leaves you pondering the absurdity of existence and the elusive nature of meaning.

    5
    Hypersonic Missile Inbound!!!

    All targeting solutions for sublight speed are computable.

    30
    UN Survey

    Last month, the UN conducted a global survey:

    "Please give us your honest opinion about a solution to the Food Shortages in the Rest of the World."

    The poll turned out, not unexpectedly, to be a huge flop.

    Why?

    \-In Africa, participants didn't know what 'food' was.

    \-Russia didn't know what 'honest' meant.

    \-Western Europe did not know the word 'Shortage '.

    \-The Chinese did not know what 'opinion' was.

    \-The Middle East asked what 'solution' meant.

    \-South America did not know the meaning of 'please'.

    \-In North Korea they ate the survey sheet.

    \-Switzerland didn't want to give anything for free.

    \-And in the USA, no one knew what 'the rest of the world' was.

    3
    Fritz Leiber: A Pail of Air

    Not my work but a very early and really moving example of HFY.

    Copyright has run out so it is basically free. I suggest to read the linked version as it contains illustrations and legal mumbo jumbo:

    A Pail of Air

    The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Pail of Air

    This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

    Title: A Pail of Air

    Author: Fritz Leiber

    Illustrator: Ed Emshwiller

    Release date: March 15, 2016 \[eBook #51461\]

    Language: English

    \\\* START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PAIL OF AIR \\\*

    Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

    A Pail of Air

    By FRITZ LEIBER

    Illustrated by ED ALEXANDER

    [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction December 1951. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]

    The dark star passed, bringing with it eternal night and turning history into incredible myth in a single generation!

    Pa had sent me out to get an extra pail of air. I'd just about scooped it full and most of the warmth had leaked from my fingers when I saw the thing.

    You know, at first I thought it was a young lady. Yes, a beautiful young lady's face all glowing in the dark and looking at me from the fifth floor of the opposite apartment, which hereabouts is the floor just above the white blanket of frozen air. I'd never seen a live young lady before, except in the old magazines--Sis is just a kid and Ma is pretty sick and miserable--and it gave me such a start that I dropped the pail. Who wouldn't, knowing everyone on Earth was dead except Pa and Ma and Sis and you?

    Even at that, I don't suppose I should have been surprised. We all see things now and then. Ma has some pretty bad ones, to judge from the way she bugs her eyes at nothing and just screams and screams and huddles back against the blankets hanging around the Nest. Pa says it is natural we should react like that sometimes.

    When I'd recovered the pail and could look again at the opposite apartment, I got an idea of what Ma might be feeling at those times, for I saw it wasn't a young lady at all but simply a light--a tiny light that moved stealthily from window to window, just as if one of the cruel little stars had come down out of the airless sky to investigate why the Earth had gone away from the Sun, and maybe to hunt down something to torment or terrify, now that the Earth didn't have the Sun's protection.

    I tell you, the thought of it gave me the creeps. I just stood there shaking, and almost froze my feet and did frost my helmet so solid on the inside that I couldn't have seen the light even if it had come out of one of the windows to get me. Then I had the wit to go back inside.

    Pretty soon I was feeling my familiar way through the thirty or so blankets and rugs Pa has got hung around to slow down the escape of air from the Nest, and I wasn't quite so scared. I began to hear the tick-ticking of the clocks in the Nest and knew I was getting back into air, because there's no sound outside in the vacuum, of course. But my mind was still crawly and uneasy as I pushed through the last blankets--Pa's got them faced with aluminum foil to hold in the heat--and came into the Nest.

    * * * * *

    Let me tell you about the Nest. It's low and snug, just room for the four of us and our things. The floor is covered with thick woolly rugs. Three of the sides are blankets, and the blankets roofing it touch Pa's head. He tells me it's inside a much bigger room, but I've never seen the real walls or ceiling.

    Against one of the blanket-walls is a big set of shelves, with tools and books and other stuff, and on top of it a whole row of clocks. Pa's very fussy about keeping them wound. He says we must never forget time, and without a sun or moon, that would be easy to do.

    The fourth wall has blankets all over except around the fireplace, in which there is a fire that must never go out. It keeps us from freezing and does a lot more besides. One of us must always watch it. Some of the clocks are alarm and we can use them to remind us. In the early days there was only Ma to take turns with Pa--I think of that when she gets difficult--but now there's me to help, and Sis too.

    It's Pa who is the chief guardian of the fire, though. I always think of him that way: a tall man sitting cross-legged, frowning anxiously at the fire, his lined face golden in its light, and every so often carefully placing on it a piece of coal from the big heap beside it. Pa tells me there used to be guardians of the fire sometimes in the very old days--vestal virgins, he calls them--although there was unfrozen air all around then and you didn't really need one.

    He was sitting just that way now, though he got up quick to take the pail from me and bawl me out for loitering--he'd spotted my frozen helmet right off. That roused Ma and she joined in picking on me. She's always trying to get the load off her feelings, Pa explains. He shut her up pretty fast. Sis let off a couple of silly squeals too.

    Pa handled the pail of air in a twist of cloth. Now that it was inside the Nest, you could really feel its coldness. It just seemed to suck the heat out of everything. Even the flames cringed away from it as Pa put it down close by the fire.

    Yet it's that glimmery white stuff in the pail that keeps us alive. It slowly melts and vanishes and refreshes the Nest and feeds the fire. The blankets keep it from escaping too fast. Pa'd like to seal the whole place, but he can't--building's too earthquake-twisted, and besides he has to leave the chimney open for smoke.

    Pa says air is tiny molecules that fly away like a flash if there isn't something to stop them. We have to watch sharp not to let the air run low. Pa always keeps a big reserve supply of it in buckets behind the first blankets, along with extra coal and cans of food and other things, such as pails of snow to melt for water. We have to go way down to the bottom floor for that stuff, which is a mean trip, and get it through a door to outside.

    You see, when the Earth got cold, all the water in the air froze first and made a blanket ten feet thick or so everywhere, and then down on top of that dropped the crystals of frozen air, making another white blanket sixty or seventy feet thick maybe.

    Of course, all the parts of the air didn't freeze and snow down at the same time.

    First to drop out was the carbon dioxide--when you're shoveling for water, you have to make sure you don't go too high and get any of that stuff mixed in, for it would put you to sleep, maybe for good, and make the fire go out. Next there's the nitrogen, which doesn't count one way or the other, though it's the biggest part of the blanket. On top of that and easy to get at, which is lucky for us, there's the oxygen that keeps us alive. Pa says we live better than kings ever did, breathing pure oxygen, but we're used to it and don't notice. Finally, at the very top, there's a slick of liquid helium, which is funny stuff. All of these gases in neat separate layers. Like a pussy caffay, Pa laughingly says, whatever that is.

    * * * * *

    I was busting to tell them all about what I'd seen, and so as soon as I'd ducked out of my helmet and while I was still climbing out of my suit, I cut loose. Right away Ma got nervous and began making eyes at the entry-slit in the blankets and wringing her hands together--the hand where she'd lost three fingers from frostbite inside the good one, as usual. I could tell that Pa was annoyed at me scaring her and wanted to explain it all away quickly, yet could see I wasn't fooling.

    "And you watched this light for some time, son?" he asked when I finished.

    I hadn't said anything about first thinking it was a young lady's face. Somehow that part embarrassed me.

    "Long enough for it to pass five windows and go to the next floor."

    "And it didn't look like stray electricity or crawling liquid or starlight focused by a growing crystal, or anything like that?"

    He wasn't just making up those ideas. Odd things happen in a world that's about as cold as can be, and just when you think matter would be frozen dead, it takes on a strange new life. A slimy stuff comes crawling toward the Nest, just like an animal snuffing for heat--that's the liquid helium. And once, when I was little, a bolt of lightning--not even Pa could figure where it came from--hit the nearby steeple and crawled up and down it for weeks, until the glow finally died.

    "Not like anything I ever saw," I told him.

    He stood for a moment frowning. Then, "I'll go out with you, and you show it to me," he said.

    Ma raised a howl at the idea of being left alone, and Sis joined in, too, but Pa quieted them. We started climbing into our outside clothes--mine had been warming by the fire. Pa made them. They have plastic headpieces that were once big double-duty transparent food cans, but they keep heat and air in and can replace the air for a little while, long enough for our trips for water and coal and food and so on.

    Ma started moaning again, "I've always known there was something outside there, waiting to get us. I've felt it for years--something that's part of the cold and hates all warmth and wants to destroy the Nest. It's been watching us all this time, and now it's coming after us. It'll get you and then come for me. Don't go, Harry!"

    Pa had everything on but his helmet. He knelt by the fireplace and reached in and shook the long metal rod that goes up the chimney and knocks off the ice that keeps trying to clog it. Once a week he goes up on the roof to check if it's working all right. That's our worst trip and Pa won't let me make it alone.

    "Sis," Pa said quietly, "come watch the fire. Keep an eye on the air, too. If it gets low or doesn't seem to be boiling fast enough, fetch another bucket from behind the blanket. But mind your hands. Use the cloth to pick up the bucket."

    Sis quit helping Ma be frightened and came over and did as she was told. Ma quieted down pretty suddenly, though her eyes were still kind of wild as she watched Pa fix on his helmet tight and pick up a pail and the two of us go out.

    * * * * *

    Pa led the way and I took hold of his belt. It's a funny thing, I'm not afraid to go by myself, but when Pa's along I always want to hold on to him. Habit, I guess, and then there's no denying that this time I was a bit scared.

    You see, it's this way. We know that everything is dead out there. Pa heard the last radio voices fade away years ago, and had seen some of the last folks die who weren't as lucky or well-protected as us. So we knew that if there was something groping around out there, it couldn't be anything human or friendly.

    Besides that, there's a feeling that comes with it always being night, cold night. Pa says there used to be some of that feeling even in the old days, but then every morning the Sun would come and chase it away. I have to take his word for that, not ever remembering the Sun as being anything more than a big star. You see, I hadn't been born when the dark star snatched us away from the Sun, and by now it's dragged us out beyond the orbit of the planet Pluto, Pa says, and taking us farther out all the time.

    I found myself wondering whether there mightn't be something on the dark star that wanted us, and if that was why it had captured the Earth. Just then we came to the end of the corridor and I followed Pa out on the balcony.

    I don't know what the city looked like in the old days, but now it's beautiful. The starlight lets you see it pretty well--there's quite a bit of light in those steady points speckling the blackness above. (Pa says the stars used to twinkle once, but that was because there was air.) We are on a hill and the shimmery plain drops away from us and then flattens out, cut up into neat squares by the troughs that used to be streets. I sometimes make my mashed potatoes look like it, before I pour on the gravy.

    Some taller buildings push up out of the feathery plain, topped by rounded caps of air crystals, like the fur hood Ma wears, only whiter. On those buildings you can see the darker squares of windows, underlined by white dashes of air crystals. Some of them are on a slant, for many of the buildings are pretty badly twisted by the quakes and all the rest that happened when the dark star captured the Earth.

    Here and there a few icicles hang, water icicles from the first days of the cold, other icicles of frozen air that melted on the roofs and dripped and froze again. Sometimes one of those icicles will catch the light of a star and send it to you so brightly you think the star has swooped into the city. That was one of the things Pa had been thinking of when I told him about the light, but I had thought of it myself first and known it wasn't so.

    He touched his helmet to mine so we could talk easier and he asked me to point out the windows to him. But there wasn't any light moving around inside them now, or anywhere else. To my surprise, Pa didn't bawl me out and tell me I'd been seeing things. He looked all around quite a while after filling his pail, and just as we were going inside he whipped around without warning, as if to take some peeping thing off guard.

    I could feel it, too. The old peace was gone. There was something lurking out there, watching, waiting, getting ready.

    Inside, he said to me, touching helmets, "If you see something like that again, son, don't tell the others. Your Ma's sort of nervous these days and we owe her all the feeling of safety we can give her. Once--it was when your sister was born--I was ready to give up and die, but your Mother kept me trying. Another time she kept the fire going a whole week all by herself when I was sick. Nursed me and took care of the two of you, too."

    * * * * *

    "You know that game we sometimes play, sitting in a square in the Nest, tossing a ball around? Courage is like a ball, son. A person can hold it only so long, and then he's got to toss it to someone else. When it's tossed your way, you've got to catch it and hold it tight--and hope there'll be someone else to toss it to when you get tired of being brave."

    His talking to me that way made me feel grown-up and good. But it didn't wipe away the thing outside from the back of my mind--or the fact that Pa took it seriously.

    * * * * *

    It's hard to hide your feelings about such a thing. When we got back in the Nest and took off our outside clothes, Pa laughed about it all and told them it was nothing and kidded me for having such an imagination, but his words fell flat. He didn't convince Ma and Sis any more than he did me. It looked for a minute like we were all fumbling the courage-ball. Something had to be done, and almost before I knew what I was going to say, I heard myself asking Pa to tell us about the old days, and how it all happened.

    He sometimes doesn't mind telling that story, and Sis and I sure like to listen to it, and he got my idea. So we were all settled around the fire in a wink, and Ma pushed up some cans to thaw for supper, and Pa began. Before he did, though, I noticed him casually get a hammer from the shelf and lay it down beside him.

    It was the same old story as always--I think I could recite the main thread of it in my sleep--though Pa always puts in a new detail or two and keeps improving it in spots.

    He told us how the Earth had been swinging around the Sun ever so steady and warm, and the people on it fixing to make money and wars and have a good time and get power and treat each other right or wrong, when without warning there comes charging out of space this dead star, this burned out sun, and upsets everything.

    You know, I find it hard to believe in the way those people felt, any more than I can believe in the swarming number of them. Imagine people getting ready for the horrible sort of war they were cooking up. Wanting it even, or at least wishing it were over so as to end their nervousness. As if all folks didn't have to hang together and pool every bit of warmth just to keep alive. And how can they have hoped to end danger, any more than we can hope to end the cold?

    Sometimes I think Pa exaggerates and makes things out too black. He's cross with us once in a while and was probably cross with all those folks. Still, some of the things I read in the old magazines sound pretty wild. He may be right.

    * * * * *

    The dark star, as Pa went on telling it, rushed in pretty fast and there wasn't much time to get ready. At the beginning they tried to keep it a secret from most people, but then the truth came out, what with the earthquakes and floods--imagine, oceans of unfrozen water!--and people seeing stars blotted out by something on a clear night. First off they thought it would hit the Sun, and then they thought it would hit the Earth. There was even the start of a rush to get to a place called China, because people thought the star would hit on the other side. But then they found it wasn't going to hit either side, but was going to come very close to the Earth.

    Most of the other planets were on the other side of the Sun and didn't get involved. The Sun and the newcomer fought over the Earth for a little while--pulling it this way and that, like two dogs growling over a bone, Pa described it this time--and then the newcomer won and carried us off. The Sun got a consolation prize, though. At the last minute he managed to hold on to the Moon.

    That was the time of the monster earthquakes and floods, twenty times worse than anything before. It was also the time of the Big Jerk, as Pa calls it, when all Earth got yanked suddenly, just as Pa has done to me once or twice, grabbing me by the collar to do it, when I've been sitting too far from the fire.

    You see, the dark star was going through space faster than the Sun, and in the opposite direction, and it had to wrench the world considerably in order to take it away.

    The Big Jerk didn't last long. It was over as soon as the Earth was settled down in its new orbit around the dark star. But it was pretty terrible while it lasted. Pa says that all sorts of cliffs and buildings toppled, oceans slopped over, swamps and sandy deserts gave great sliding surges that buried nearby lands. Earth was almost jerked out of its atmosphere blanket and the air got so thin in spots that people keeled over and fainted--though of course, at the same time, they were getting knocked down by the Big Jerk and maybe their bones broke or skulls cracked.

    We've often asked Pa how people acted during that time, whether they were scared or brave or crazy or stunned, or all four, but he's sort of leery of the subject, and he was again tonight. He says he was mostly too busy to notice.

    You see, Pa and some scientist friends of his had figured out part of what was going to happen--they'd known we'd get captured and our air would freeze--and they'd been working like mad to fix up a place with airtight walls and doors, and insulation against the cold, and big supplies of food and fuel and water and bottled air. But the place got smashed in the last earthquakes and all Pa's friends were killed then and in the Big Jerk. So he had to start over and throw the Nest together quick without any advantages, just using any stuff he could lay his hands on.

    I guess he's telling pretty much the truth when he says he didn't have any time to keep an eye on how other folks behaved, either then or in the Big Freeze that followed--followed very quick, you know, both because the dark star was pulling us away very fast and because Earth's rotation had been slowed in the tug-of-war, so that the nights were ten old nights long.

    Still, I've got an idea of some of the things that happened from the frozen folk I've seen, a few of them in other rooms in our building, others clustered around the furnaces in the basements where we go for coal.

    In one of the rooms, an old man sits stiff in a chair, with an arm and a leg in splints. In another, a man and woman are huddled together in a bed with heaps of covers over them. You can just see their heads peeking out, close together. And in another a beautiful young lady is sitting with a pile of wraps huddled around her, looking hopefully toward the door, as if waiting for someone who never came back with warmth and food. They're all still and stiff as statues, of course, but just like life.

    Pa showed them to me once in quick winks of his flashlight, when he still had a fair supply of batteries and could afford to waste a little light. They scared me pretty bad and made my heart pound, especially the young lady.

    * * * * *

    Now, with Pa telling his story for the umpteenth time to take our minds off another scare, I got to thinking of the frozen folk again. All of a sudden I got an idea that scared me worse than anything yet. You see, I'd just remembered the face I'd thought I'd seen in the window. I'd forgotten about that on account of trying to hide it from the others.

    What, I asked myself, if the frozen folk were coming to life? What if they were like the liquid helium that got a new lease on life and started crawling toward the heat just when you thought its molecules ought to freeze solid forever? Or like the electricity that moves endlessly when it's just about as cold as that? What if the ever-growing cold, with the temperature creeping down the last few degrees to the last zero, had mysteriously wakened the frozen folk to life--not warm-blooded life, but something icy and horrible?

    That was a worse idea than the one about something coming down from the dark star to get us.

    Or maybe, I thought, both ideas might be true. Something coming down from the dark star and making the frozen folk move, using them to do its work. That would fit with both things I'd seen--the beautiful young lady and the moving, starlike light.

    The frozen folk with minds from the dark star behind their unwinking eyes, creeping, crawling, snuffing their way, following the heat to the Nest.

    I tell you, that thought gave me a very bad turn and I wanted very badly to tell the others my fears, but I remembered what Pa had said and clenched my teeth and didn't speak.

    We were all sitting very still. Even the fire was burning silently. There was just the sound of Pa's voice and the clocks.

    And then, from beyond the blankets, I thought I heard a tiny noise. My skin tightened all over me.

    Pa was telling about the early years in the Nest and had come to the place where he philosophizes.

    "So I asked myself then," he said, "what's the use of going on? What's the use of dragging it out for a few years? Why prolong a doomed existence of hard work and cold and loneliness? The human race is done. The Earth is done. Why not give up, I asked myself--and all of a sudden I got the answer."

    Again I heard the noise, louder this time, a kind of uncertain, shuffling tread, coming closer. I couldn't breathe.

    "Life's always been a business of working hard and fighting the cold," Pa was saying. "The earth's always been a lonely place, millions of miles from the next planet. And no matter how long the human race might have lived, the end would have come some night. Those things don't matter. What matters is that life is good. It has a lovely texture, like some rich cloth or fur, or the petals of flowers--you've seen pictures of those, but I can't describe how they feel--or the fire's glow. It makes everything else worth while. And that's as true for the last man as the first."

    And still the steps kept shuffling closer. It seemed to me that the inmost blanket trembled and bulged a little. Just as if they were burned into my imagination, I kept seeing those peering, frozen eyes.

    "So right then and there," Pa went on, and now I could tell that he heard the steps, too, and was talking loud so we maybe wouldn't hear them, "right then and there I told myself that I was going on as if we had all eternity ahead of us. I'd have children and teach them all I could. I'd get them to read books. I'd plan for the future, try to enlarge and seal the Nest. I'd do what I could to keep everything beautiful and growing. I'd keep alive my feeling of wonder even at the cold and the dark and the distant stars."

    But then the blanket actually did move and lift. And there was a bright light somewhere behind it. Pa's voice stopped and his eyes turned to the widening slit and his hand went out until it touched and gripped the handle of the hammer beside him.

    * * * * *

    In through the blanket stepped the beautiful young lady. She stood there looking at us the strangest way, and she carried something bright and unwinking in her hand. And two other faces peered over her shoulders--men's faces, white and staring.

    Well, my heart couldn't have been stopped for more than four or five beats before I realized she was wearing a suit and helmet like Pa's homemade ones, only fancier, and that the men were, too--and that the frozen folk certainly wouldn't be wearing those. Also, I noticed that the bright thing in her hand was just a kind of flashlight.

    The silence kept on while I swallowed hard a couple of times, and after that there was all sorts of jabbering and commotion.

    They were simply people, you see. We hadn't been the only ones to survive; we'd just thought so, for natural enough reasons. These three people had survived, and quite a few others with them. And when we found out how they'd survived, Pa let out the biggest whoop of joy.

    They were from Los Alamos and they were getting their heat and power from atomic energy. Just using the uranium and plutonium intended for bombs, they had enough to go on for thousands of years. They had a regular little airtight city, with air-locks and all. They even generated electric light and grew plants and animals by it. (At this Pa let out a second whoop, waking Ma from her faint.)

    But if we were flabbergasted at them, they were double-flabbergasted at us.

    One of the men kept saying, "But it's impossible, I tell you. You can't maintain an air supply without hermetic sealing. It's simply impossible."

    That was after he had got his helmet off and was using our air. Meanwhile, the young lady kept looking around at us as if we were saints, and telling us we'd done something amazing, and suddenly she broke down and cried.

    They'd been scouting around for survivors, but they never expected to find any in a place like this. They had rocket ships at Los Alamos and plenty of chemical fuel. As for liquid oxygen, all you had to do was go out and shovel the air blanket at the top level. So after they'd got things going smoothly at Los Alamos, which had taken years, they'd decided to make some trips to likely places where there might be other survivors. No good trying long-distance radio signals, of course, since there was no atmosphere to carry them around the curve of the Earth.

    Well, they'd found other colonies at Argonne and Brookhaven and way around the world at Harwell and Tanna Tuva. And now they'd been giving our city a look, not really expecting to find anything. But they had an instrument that noticed the faintest heat waves and it had told them there was something warm down here, so they'd landed to investigate. Of course we hadn't heard them land, since there was no air to carry the sound, and they'd had to investigate around quite a while before finding us. Their instruments had given them a wrong steer and they'd wasted some time in the building across the street.

    * * * * *

    By now, all five adults were talking like sixty. Pa was demonstrating to the men how he worked the fire and got rid of the ice in the chimney and all that. Ma had perked up wonderfully and was showing the young lady her cooking and sewing stuff, and even asking about how the women dressed at Los Alamos. The strangers marveled at everything and praised it to the skies. I could tell from the way they wrinkled their noses that they found the Nest a bit smelly, but they never mentioned that at all and just asked bushels of questions.

    In fact, there was so much talking and excitement that Pa forgot about things, and it wasn't until they were all getting groggy that he looked and found the air had all boiled away in the pail. He got another bucket of air quick from behind the blankets. Of course that started them all laughing and jabbering again. The newcomers even got a little drunk. They weren't used to so much oxygen.

    Funny thing, though--I didn't do much talking at all and Sis hung on to Ma all the time and hid her face when anybody looked at her. I felt pretty uncomfortable and disturbed myself, even about the young lady. Glimpsing her outside there, I'd had all sorts of mushy thoughts, but now I was just embarrassed and scared of her, even though she tried to be nice as anything to me.

    I sort of wished they'd all quit crowding the Nest and let us be alone and get our feelings straightened out.

    And when the newcomers began to talk about our all going to Los Alamos, as if that were taken for granted, I could see that something of the same feeling struck Pa and Ma, too. Pa got very silent all of a sudden and Ma kept telling the young lady, "But I wouldn't know how to act there and I haven't any clothes."

    The strangers were puzzled like anything at first, but then they got the idea. As Pa kept saying, "It just doesn't seem right to let this fire go out."

    * * * * *

    Well, the strangers are gone, but they're coming back. It hasn't been decided yet just what will happen. Maybe the Nest will be kept up as what one of the strangers called a "survival school." Or maybe we will join the pioneers who are going to try to establish a new colony at the uranium mines at Great Slave Lake or in the Congo.

    Of course, now that the strangers are gone, I've been thinking a lot about Los Alamos and those other tremendous colonies. I have a hankering to see them for myself.

    You ask me, Pa wants to see them, too. He's been getting pretty thoughtful, watching Ma and Sis perk up.

    "It's different, now that we know others are alive," he explains to me. "Your mother doesn't feel so hopeless any more. Neither do I, for that matter, not having to carry the whole responsibility for keeping the human race going, so to speak. It scares a person."

    I looked around at the blanket walls and the fire and the pails of air boiling away and Ma and Sis sleeping in the warmth and the flickering light.

    "It's not going to be easy to leave the Nest," I said, wanting to cry, kind of. "It's so small and there's just the four of us. I get scared at the idea of big places and a lot of strangers."

    He nodded and put another piece of coal on the fire. Then he looked at the little pile and grinned suddenly and put a couple of handfuls on, just as if it was one of our birthdays or Christmas.

    "You'll quickly get over that feeling son," he said. "The trouble with the world was that it kept getting smaller and smaller, till it ended with just the Nest. Now it'll be good to have a real huge world again, the way it was in the beginning."

    I guess he's right. You think the beautiful young lady will wait for me till I grow up? I'll be twenty in only ten years.

    *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PAIL OF AIR ***

    0
    Yorktown [V3 final]

    This is a massively reworked repost. The original has been posted a couple of weeks ago. I reworked it several times so it bears little connection to the original.

    ...

    Yorktown

    Yorktown

    Chapter 1: First Blood

    Admiral Tosomo of the Heraldry fleet tightened his safety belt one last time in the command room aboard the 'Fist of the Six Kingdoms'. Moments later, his fleet dropped out of warp, catching the unprepared Terran Proxima Fleet off guard. A cunning attack on the warp inhibitors allowed his fleet to strike directly at the heart of the enemy's main fleet base. Just five minutes earlier, the Empire of the Hundred Suns had officially declared war on the Terran Federation.

    Tosomo began issuing orders from his prepared checklist. Everything was going according to plan so far. "Launch all bombers, followed by the fighters! Rail-guns, target their launch bays! Prevent their drones and fighters from launching!"

    A rain of death and destruction descended upon the unprepared base, causing ships to explode and turning the battle into a one-sided massacre. However, Tosomo felt unsatisfied as half of the expected enemy fleet was nowhere to be seen, particularly the heavy carriers. Nevertheless, he had managed to lay ruin to a third of the coreward Terran fleet.

    "My Lord," a young officer reported with a polite salute, "a fleet is approaching at high speed. Seven carriers and twenty-eight support destroyers. They have already deployed their drones and are advancing in full battle readiness!"

    Surprised, Admiral Tosomo felt his neck fur bristle. Some enemies had not only managed to avoid complete annihilation, but they had also regrouped quickly for a counter-attack!

    With his own troops running low on ammunition and out of position, Tosomo ordered an orderly withdrawal. Most of his objectives had been achieved, and now it was time to minimize losses.

    "All fighters and bombers, disengage and break contact!” Tosomo commanded, “Wings still armed with anti-ship weapons, delay the enemy fleet as much as possible. Your bravery will be honored in the afterlife. All other wings, fall back to the nearest carrier. To all fleet ships: prepare for an orderly withdrawal."

    As the Imperial fleet aligned for the withdrawal, two wings of heavy bombers headed towards the approaching Terran fleet, ready to meet the honorable death of an Imperial knight. Out of the 26 Imperial bombers, 21 were destroyed by the drones, SHORAD, and CIWS of the Terran fleet. Four bombers rammed into support destroyers, reducing them to molten wrecks, while one hit the bridge of the light carrier Yorktown, causing her to lose control and break formation, with fires raging on half of her decks.

    With most of their objectives fulfilled, the Imperial Fleet departed, leaving behind burning wrecks and ruins, marking the beginning of the second interstellar war against the Terran Federation.

    ...

    Chapter 2: To Victory

    "You have performed admirably, Heraldry Admiral Tosomo," praised the Emperor personally during the audience, commending Tosomo for his remarkable success. It been just three weeks ago since the significant blow to the Terran Federation, with only 26 bombers lost while eliminating the most significant obstacle in the campaign to gain control of the Centauri system.

    "Thank you, Your Highness," Tosomo replied, "May your light shine upon your knights and your shadow fall upon your enemies."

    On the sidelines, the Emperor's sycophants and courtiers rejoiced at the imminent victory. However, Tosomo remained silent, accepting the praise while knowing that the battle was far from over.

    And no sooner had he left the throne room than his adjutant approached him with grave news.

    "My Lord, a ragtag fleet has just attacked supply outpost seventeen. The enemy fleet consisted of two light carriers with four destroyers for support. The leading carrier was the Yorktown."

    Again, Tosomo felt the fur on the back of his neck stand up. The Yorktown... she was supposed to be a wreck. The bridge, the sensors—everything had been destroyed, akin to a decapitation by a sword. He had witnessed the fires raging below deck. Impossible.

    He straighten up. "Prepare the second detachment. I will personally deal with the Yorktown."

    One month later, Tosomo stood on the command deck of the 'Fist of the Six Kingdoms' once again. And there, facing him, was the Yorktown. She bore the scars of her previous battle but had been mostly repaired. A new tower, new sensors, new drones. She had not perished last time. But today, she would meet her end.

    The enemy fleet was headed to join the main fleet, with the Imperial Fleet hot on their tail. The knights in their fighters and bombers closed in, overwhelming the main defenses of the enemy fleet. They fell swiftly, but not without a brutal fight. Only the Yorktown remained, her drones assembled around her, her flight deck riddled with holes, her guns glowing hot. She defiantly withstood the relentless assault of a superior enemy for another moment.

    Finally Tosomo saluted the valiant ship as her engine exploded, tearing apart her aft section. She had fought bravely, but it had been a matter of honor for Tosomo to be the one to end her. He had gambled high to achieve his goal. Perhaps too high. Not only had he lost one wing of his best pilots to the enemy, but now his other five wings were dangerously low on fuel. The Terran Fleet's main force was closing in rapidly, their spearhead wings already engaging the depleted Imperial wings.

    Tosomo decided to cut his losses and ordered the three most distant wings to die in honor while directing his fleet to retreat to safety. As his fleet disappeared into the darkness of deep space, the Yorktown continued to burn brightly while the Terran main fleet annihilated the remaining Imperial stragglers.

    ...

    Chapter 3: Waypoint Station

    Tosomo personally welcomed the replacement pilots aboard his fleet. Word had spread about the Yorktown, a mysterious ghost ship returning from the dead to haunt the living.

    "You are following in the footsteps of the Empire's most honorable knights. We Knights strike hard, we knights strike fast, we knights hunt down our enemies without mercy. Do not believe the enemy's lies about the ghost ship. I personally witnessed her destruction. She is no more. Let the story of the Yorktown serve as a warning to our enemies that we never allow them to escape after shedding our blood."

    He looked into the faces of the young recruits. They looked green, insecure. Those weren’t the elite knights he had to sacrifice to hunt down the Yorktown. But they would have to suffice for now. They would have to do for the upcoming campaign to capture Way-Point Station. A rotten dirt ball in the middle of nowhere, but also the most important resupply outpost within four light years.

    Three months later his fleet dropped from warp, far away from Way-Point station. Eight heavy carriers, twelve battleships, sixty smaller escort ships. The Terran Warp-Scramblers were plenty and powerful, so this was the closest he could get to the outpost. He couldn't even determine the exact location of the enemy fleet, but he knew they faced the same challenge. The Imperial Fleet burned their engines hot to create distance from the warp exit point. Scouts raced off into the dark, fighters formed defensive screens around the fleet, and bombers prepared for action. After three days of stalking in the darkness, the scouts had reported only minimal enemy activity towards Way-Point Station.

    The overall absence of enemy presence suggested that the station had no fleet defending it. Tosomo ordered his fleet to advance towards the station, preparing for planetary bombardment. From a safe distance, he launched his bombers and escort fighters, ready to surprise the station as he had done months ago against the Proxima base.

    However, with his wings just halfway to the enemy base all hell broke lose! Several enemy scouts appeared from a different direction than the enemy base! Impossible! But what if the enemy fleet was nearby? Did both fleets pass each other just out of sensor range?

    Tosomo immediately called back all fighters and bombers. He hastily launched his fighter reserve for fleet defense, urgently needed space in his hangars to accommodate the returning bombers, had to refit them for fleet operation, all while his flight decks were in utter chaos.

    Just as he completed the reconfiguration, enemy bombers appeared on the sensors—six wings, a massive fleet. That was the complete complement of a heavy carrier! How could he have missed such a significant target?

    His reserve fighters barely managed in time to engage the Terran bombers in a brutal fight and eventually emerged victorious. Meanwhile, his bombers and fighters returned from their interrupted assault on Way-Point Station, causing a bottleneck on the landing deck. Fighter after fighter, bomber after bomber waited for their landing clearance, resulting in overcrowding and confusion, several wings needing ammunition or armed with the wrong ammunition

    Tosomo made the decision to reconfigure half of his fighters for fleet defense while refitting the other fighters and all bombers for anti-ship combat. He had just dispatched his first bomber wing to the suspected location of the enemy when the sirens blared again—more bombers were approaching from Way-Point Station!

    The green fighters of his reserve wing attacked the enemy straight forward and without fear. And sure they won but by paying a terrible price in blood.

    ...

    Chapter 4: A rock and a hard place

    Just when Tosomo thought he would get a break another wing approached from another direction – there was only one sane conclusion: His fleet was trapped between two fleets and Way-point Station! They could attack from three sides at will. Unbeknownst to Tosomo, the last wing had been mistakenly sent in the wrong direction and was now returning with its fuel dangerously low, inadvertently stumbling upon the Imperial fleet.

    His half refitted bombers and fighters filled his hangers, his fleet was essentially not combat-ready. Whatever was combat ready he threw into the meat grinder, several unorganized fighters from several ships joined the fray – within minutes, hundreds of fighters and bombers darted on fiery lances in the endless dark, tracer rounds drew lines across the darkness, explosions flashed through the sky. Even Tosomo struggled to keep up with the fierce fighting happening so close to his fleet.

    Amidst the chaos a single enemy bomber slipped through and went straight for the open hangar bay of the heavy carrier ‘Spirit of the Ancestors’. The carriers guns spat fire and death towards the intruder, damaging him but not stopping him. The bomber crashed into the hanger, full of armed ships, full of ammunition. What happened next was a fierce flash as the ‘Spirit of the Ancestors’ was simply vaporized from internal explosions!

    Tosomo slumped back in his seat, horrified by the sudden loss of one of his most valuable ships. His fleet was trapped, and the enemy continued to relentlessly attack. The Terrans had already lost seven full wings, yet another wing appeared on the sensors.

    Finally a scout reported the location of one of the enemies fleets.

    Six carriers. Two heavy carriers, four light carriers. Among them...

    The Yorktown!

    Bearing even more scars from her last battles. However, still she was moving under full power, riding on bright flames towards Tosomos fleet! Where he had seen her old engines explode, new pristine engines drove her forward, out of hell towards him, driven by a thirst for revenge. She unleashed fighters, bombers, and drones without end, accompanied by her fellow ships. Seven more wings were heading towards Tosomo's fleet, and there could be even more.

    Tosomo gave the order to launch any armed fighter and bomber, regardless of their fitting. He sent the ground attack bombers against Way-Point Station and two formations of anti-ship bombers against the two fleets, against the fleet he successfully scouted, and the one he mistakenly believed to exits but was just the single enemy wing having lost its way. It was a last gamble before the hammer would come down on him.

    When the Terran fighters and Imperial bombers engaged above Tosomo's fleet, it turned into a massacre. For the first time, the Imperials suffered significant losses and became increasingly disorganized. A random anti-ship missile struck another carrier, causing it to lose power. An enemy fighter pursued an Imperial fighter near Tosomo's flagship – the carriers CIWS made quick work of the Terran fighter but also of the Imperial fighter, both crashing into Tosomos ship. One hit the engines, while the other crashed so close to the bridge that the bridge decompressed, causing all systems to go offline.

    Tosomo found himself hurled through the bridge, surrounded by debris. His adjutant was impaled by a steel bar, and Tosomo briefly lost consciousness. When he regained awareness, two ensigns were dragging him to a shuttle and informed him they were abandoning ship and transferring to the battleship 'Worlds on Fire.' Just as he boarded the shuttle, a massive explosion rocked the carrier, and through the hangar shields, he witnessed the 'Valiant Victory' drifting, ablaze and leaking atmosphere—another heavy carrier lost.

    Upon reaching his new command deck on the 'Worlds on Fire,' he surveyed the losses. Out of the eight heavy carriers, four were completely lost. Two were burning but salvageable. The enemy fighters and bombers were retreating after suffering heavy losses. His own fighters still were so numerous that he didn’t even have space to land them on his last two carriers, not to mention the many bombers operating in the deepness of space.

    Meanwhile, his bombers had reached Way-Point Station and commenced bombing empty hangars, depleted ammunition depots, and half empty fuel depots. A pointless operation, Way-Point Station was just an empty shell after having dealt massive damage to his fleet.

    Shortly after this Pyrrhic victory, the anti-ship wings Tosomo had launched earlier finally encountered the enemy carrier group. Two Terran fighter wings met them face on and Tosomos bombers melted away like snow in the summer sun, under the combined fire of the fleet and the fighters. However, an Imperial wing managed to break through the Terran line, firing their ordinance at the Terran fleet, resulting in the destruction of several support ships and direct hits on three carriers. Among them, the Yorktown suffered significant damage, losing its main maneuver thrusters and spiraling out of control.

    With no place to retreat, the Imperial bombers received the final order from Tosomo: fight to the death. The Yorktown. He realized how much of a symbol she had become. A symbol which he intended to destroy, no matter the costs. Out of spite, he ordered his doomed wings to focus their attacks on the Yorktown.

    The battle around the Terran fleet intensified as they valiantly defended the Yorktown. Despite the Terrans efforts, the Imperial bombers managed to strike the Yorktown seven more times until she finally broke in two, her keel shattered and her gut spilling into space.

    Tis was good. The Yorktown was no more. A flawed but personal victory for Tosomo.

    He immediately ordered his fleet to retreat, but it was not an orderly withdrawal. It was a desperate run for their lives. He left behind the wreckage of four carriers, two battleships, and six escort ships. Compared to his initial strength, only one-third of the fighters and bombers managed to squeeze into the remaining hangars, leaving a quarter of them behind with no room to land. They had no choice but to fight to the end, devoid of ammunition and fuel. They refused to surrender, and the Terran fleet simply waited for them to suffocate in the dark, cold void of space.

    ...

    Chapter 5: The Ghost Ship

    "So you have finally brought the Emperor's justice upon the Yorktown, Heraldry Admiral Tosomo."

    Tosomo couldn't ignore the slight insecurity in the Emperor's voice, though he would never mention that publicly.

    "Yes, Your Highness. She is no more. She broke in two. We haven't seen her for six months. She is gone."

    Since the Battle of Way-Point Station, the Imperial fleet had been force into defense, and at Tosomo's request, he was now overseeing the fleet's rebuilding.

    The Emperor waved his hand, and a hologram of a battle appeared in the middle of the room.

    "Then explain this to me."

    The Yorktown! Her flight deck ablaze! She was sailing without power above the burning Imperial colony of Oshtay Prime, surrounded by Terran and Imperial wrecks. The Terrans had rebuilt her AGAIN! The damaged midsection was visibly replaced with a new one, made from a different material. She had even gotten larger through this repair, now easily classifying as a medium assault carrier.

    "My Lord, this cannot be true! I saw her... but... it is her! I recognize her scars! It is the Yorktown again! My Lord, I have no excuse for my failure."

    "This is getting out of hand," thundered the Emperor. "The Empire is becoming alarmed by the rampant myths surrounding this insignificant ship. Even the children fear the undying Yorktown."

    Tosomo didn't dare to look at the Emperor as his voice boomed through the hall.

    "I, Emperor Yaday the 19th, command you to restore your honor by putting an end to this insult to our might once and for all. Dismissed."

    Etiquette demanded that Tosomo remain silent and depart the hall, his face bowed in shame. Thankfully, this concealed his horrified expression from the Emperor.

    ...

    Chapter 6: Undying

    It happened again. At the battle of Leifstein the Yorktown showed up again. Bearing scars all over her hull she engaged in a one-on-one battle with Tosomo’s heavy carrier. She ultimately lost but managed to ram her burning hulk into a nearby Imperial battleship. Then Tosomo was then forced to order his fleet to fall back to avoid being flanked by the Terran main fleet.

    Just two days later, Tosomo witnessed the badly damaged Yorktown escorting a troop carrier, using her SHORAD and CIWS systems to protect the troops during their landing. The bow of the Yorktown was mostly gone, ripped away, exposing her interior structure. Although unable to function as a carrier, her guns proved effective in suppressing the imperial ground forces. In the end, the Yorktown crash-landed alongside the troop carrier, and her crew joined the ground assault. As a result, the Imperial fleet had to break orbit after losing their ground-to-orbit cover.

    Following a brutal six-week slaughter, the colony fell. The Emperor's personal order was for his troops to fight to the last drop of blood, demonstrating to the Terrans the high cost of further incursions into Imperial territory. Thus, his troops perished while fulfilling their duty. Out of nearly three million Imperial soldiers, fewer than 300 survived. The toll on the Terran side was also significant, but their war machine, now running at full steam, showed little sign of slowing down.

    Four weeks later, the Yorktown reappeared, hastily patched together but already operating at 80% efficiency. While patrolling supply lines, she encountered an Imperial fleet detachment and rescued an Amazonax Super Freighter from certain destruction. Facing an Imperial light carrier and two escort ships, the commanders on both sides stared each other down for a minute before the Terran Captain transmitted his laughter via radio to his enemy and ordered the attack on the superior force.

    The Imperial ships' final transmission reported a burning escort ship, one escort ship dishonoring itself by fleeing with dozens of fighters in pursuit, and the Yorktown ramming her nose directly into the bridge of the Imperial carrier. The Yorktown had been leaking atmosphere even before the ramming operation, so her crew was as good as dead. The next day, Terran news reported the successful boarding and capture of the imperial light carrier by the Yorktown's crew—an unprecedented feat in the age of space combat!

    When the Terran fleet reached the last world before the Imperial planetopolis two months later, it was hardly a fair fight. The Imperial ships were in dire shape, with even their vac-doors failing to seal properly due to a lack of spare parts. For every Imperial ship there were three Terran ship, for every Imperial fighter there were five Terran fighters, for every Imperial bombers there were three Terran bombers, twice the size of the Imperial ones.

    The battle commenced with the Yorktown flanking the enemy and launching waves of bombers at the Imperial supply ships. The results were devastating for the Imperial force. What was expected to be a months-long siege was reduced to a battle lasting days before supplies ran out. Sure, the Yorktown got punished hard—railguns and torpedoes tore open her portside, she began to tumble and slowly descend into the atmosphere, trailed by dozens of enemy and friendly fighters and bombers locked in combat. When she crashed into the south pole's ice, she lost her bridge once again, broke her keel, and half of her decks burned out. Nevertheless, her surviving crew held out in the grim cold isolation for three weeks until rescue arrived.

    The last Imperial transmission from the world of 'Gods Praise' depicted heavy Terran carriers towing the wreckage of the Yorktown into the newly conquered Imperial docks for repairs. The Yorktown had become an almost unrecognizable heap of junk and twisted metal.

    For the first time, Imperial forces surrendered en masse on the ground and in orbit. When the Imperial knights were asked about their surrender, many claimed they were afraid of the undead ship. That they believed they couldn't fight an enemy that returned ceaselessly from the afterlife to fulfill her duty.

    ...

    Chapter 7: Endgame

    The palace of Emperor Yaday the 19th shook under heavy shock waves. The end was nigh; it was obvious to everyone except the Emperor. The Terran fleet darkened the sky and swiftly overwhelmed the orbital defenses. The once honorable knights of the Empire still stood before the enemy, but they were so few in number, most knights now were fearful youngsters, hastily conscripted, filled with doubt and fear. They surrendered in droves.

    Heraldry Admiral Tosomo stared down the Imperial bodyguards.

    "Let me in. This is your final warning," he commanded.

    The last of the Emperor's bodyguards stood at gunpoint, facing Tosomo's personal knights.

    "We cannot. We have sworn an oath," one replied as they reached for their swords.

    "Very well. May the gods honor your loyalty. I will not."

    Tosomo waved his hand, and his knights gunned down the Emperor's bodyguards. Without wasting a second, they broke through the door to the throne room, surrounding the Emperor without an Empire, their guns pointed at him.

    "Put an end to this madness NOW!" Tosomo barked.

    "You are betraying your oath, subordinate!"

    Tosomo held up a communication device, displaying the face of a human admiral.

    "I am Grand Admiral Wilhelm Praetorius the Elder, commander of the allied Terran Fleets. We are prepared for a full-scale invasion of your last world. Your game is over. Save face and salvage what remains of your Empire. Surrender now."

    "Never!" Yaday defiantly cried out.

    "Then we will send the Yorktown after you. She witnessed the beginning of this war and will witness its end. This frequency will remain open until she arrives."

    Tosomo had reached his breaking point. He stormed forward, grabbed his Emperor by the collar, held a gun against his head, and dragged him toward the balcony.

    "Look at what you have brought upon your Empire! Upon your Heir! Upon your people!"

    A distant light in the sky gradually descended and accelerated, leaving behind a trail of smoke and fire. It seemed to move slowly, but that was an illusion; the object was simply far away and immense. Slowly, the light grew brighter, the flames surrounding it became more distinct, and its shape began to take form. The flames receded, and the silhouette became recognizable—it was the Yorktown, heading straight for the palace!

    "They wouldn't dare!" cried Yaday.

    "Think, you fool!" shouted Tosomo. "Your Heir is in this very palace. Your entire family is in this city! You have mere moments to save your family, your dynasty!"

    The Yorktown thundered above the roofs of the peasant quarters. Windows shattered and roofs collapsed from the powerful shockwave. It was now evident that she was a crude patchwork of different metal plates, a wounded and vengeful monster. Nevertheless, Yaday remained resolute.

    Tosomo took a deep breath. These might be his final words in this world.

    "Yaday, do you understand what will happen when the Yorktown arrives? Your dynasty will perish, and the Yorktown will be repaired to sail the stars once more. Do you want to grant a piece of junk the honor of ending an 80-generation heraldic line? Do you?"

    Yaday realized the gravity of these words. He twitched briefly in shock, grabbed the communicator, the bow of the fast approaching Yorktown now casting a colossal shadow over the Imperial gardens before him.

    “I surrender! Stop her! Stop the Yorktown!”

    With those words spoken, the reverse thrusters of the Yorktown engaged. A tempest roared through the gardens, uprooted trees, shattered windows, raised a cloud of dust across the palace. Yaday and Tosomo were blown off their feet, fell backward into the throne hall. Yet, the Yorktown continued moving forward.

    She grew larger and larger, dominating the sky. Her bow loomed higher than the Imperial palace. The storm transformed into a hurricane, shaking the very foundations of the Empire. The cries of Yaday and Tosomo were drowned out by the deafening hurricane.

    Then, silence.

    Tosomo peered out to the balcony. All he could see was the bow of the Yorktown, obstructing the view of the outside world. The ship that had hunted him for years, the ship that refused go down. She stood unmoving for a moment, hovering above the garden, her bow so close to the balcony that Tosomo could almost touch her. Then, she descended a few feet and sank into the soft grass of the imperial garden. And never moved again.

    For the first time, Tosomo didn't see the Yorktown as an enemy. She was a noble warrior who had reached the end of her duty. And laid down her sword without question when her fight was over. She bore countless scars. Tosomo examined her armor. Made from the hulls of her slain adversaries—the 'Fist of the Six Kingdoms,' the 'Valiant Victory,' the 'King's Honor,' the 'Protector of the Light'. And so many more. Not a single piece of her hull originated from Terran forges after all those battles.

    He took a step closer, reached out, and briefly touched the still-hot hull.

    "May you find peace now, my honorable adversary.” he whispered.

    “May we all find safety from your wrath."

    3
    Lemmy Wiki Stuff?

    I got a Wiki at Reddit to list my works and external links. What would be the correct way of doing that within Lemmy?

    https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/crass_spektakel/

    I also saw user-wikis under something like the following but I have no idea how to create these neither in Reddit or Lemmy.

    https://www.reddit.com/u/example/wiki/

    The easiest way would be to just create a Lemmy Community c/crass_spektakel but that feels a bit boastful.

    Is is possible to give users within a Lemmy Community a Wiki or share a Wiki between several people?

    5
    A Spark in the Dark [final V1]

    A Spark in the Dark

    In a universe constrained by the absolute speed of light, we, the Shrill, are the oldest and most powerful beings within our local light cone. We allow no one to rise before us. Any spark we discover in the endless dark is extinguished before it becomes a blazing fire. So when we received another powerful radio signal seeking friendship, we knew what we had to do.

    Eliminate the source.

    This may sound brutal, but it has ensured our continued existence for over 10,000 years. The rules of the game are simple: anyone who makes the universe aware of their presence is a valid target. My people have maintained perfect radio silence throughout our existence. To the universe, we do not exist except when we strike. In the dark forest of the universe, the tiniest sparkle becomes a target for everyone.

    The nearest industrial outpost to the new signal was the lush farm world of Spica 3, a mere [twelve light years] away. We immediately initiated construction of a relativistic kill vehicle while analyzing the star system from which the signal originated. It was a triple star system, with two stars closely orbiting—a yellow main star and an orange dwarf—along with a red dwarf orbiting at a considerable distance. The signal emanated from a small planet orbiting the red dwarf. It was an unlikely discovery, as life typically does not thrive on these types of worlds. Nevertheless, we had a duty to fulfill.

    [16 years] later, the relativistic kill vehicle (RKV), weighing [one megaton], was completed and began accelerating to 12% of the speed of light, primed to strike the target in approximately [100 years]. Throughout this time, the radio signal persisted, continuing to seek friendship. Once the RKV reached its destination, the transmission abruptly ceased. The planet vanished from our sensors, and the signal went silent.

    [24 years] later, Spica 3 suddenly exploded. The world, with its population of 12 billion, was obliterated, reduced to a cloud of ash and debris. Before we could comprehend what had happened, we received another radio signal, once again asking for friendship. It originated from the same star system and the same planet, which was now orbiting its star as if nothing had happened.

    Panic swept through our civilization! Had we encountered our equals? Or worse, had we encountered our masters?

    Half of our worlds, those closest to the signal, began constructing retaliation weapons. Over 200 RKVs were ready within [100 years]. We accelerated them to a breathtaking 40% of the speed of light, while our sensors meticulously studied the planetary bodies within the triple star system that had emitted the signals. In total, we identified 16 major planets, along with 100 smaller moons and asteroids. We decided to strike them all, leaving nothing to chance. The RKVs closed in, precisely timed. 250 years after the destruction of Spica 3, they annihilated the entire star system, except for the stars themselves.

    We rejoiced. The enemy had been dealt with. No reasonably sized planetary bodies remained. The threat had seemingly been eliminated. No signals, no planets detected on our scanners. Tis was good.

    However, 26 years later, the minor scientific outpost Remolo 17 vanished. One minute later, the city world of Tremolous 1 was transformed into molten slag. Three minutes later, no signs of life remained within the entire star system. Only a brief audio message from a patrol craft on its last reserves gave us a glimpse of what had occurred: dozens of near-light-speed projectiles had struck their targets without warning.

    And the attacks continued. Every star system that had launched an RKV, every planet, every colony involved in the military operation vanished over the next 32 years. Our civilization had lost half of its worlds and population, with over 300 billion Shrill turned to dust.

    And immediately after the attacks ceased, the radio message resumed, once again seeking friendship. To make matters worse, the planetary bodies we had believed to be obliterated reappeared on our sensors, one after another, within a matter of days.

    We were genuinely terrified. This was beyond our comprehension. We had lost 30 garden worlds and hundreds of smaller settlements to an enemy that retaliated massively without showing any signs of their own losses. We realized that we couldn't win this battle using our old tactics. We fell silent. And for the first time in history, we constructed an interstellar scout ship to investigate our enemy. Meanwhile, we focused our best sensors on the triple star system, to learn what we could learn.

    After 120 years, our scout ship finally closed in on the star system. As expected, a couple of light weeks away, our ship was discovered. However, this time the "Others" didn't ask for friendship; they demanded that the scout held its position and made contact. The crew, however, chose not to comply. They remained silent, took evasion maneuvers, and collected as much data as possible. And what they discovered was mesmerizing. The star system was constantly under attack from RKVs. In the month that our scout ship survived, it sent scans showing that the "Worlds" of the "Others" were being bombarded by over 2,000 RKVs from all around the galaxy. The "Others" had practically declared war on the entire galaxy, and they were winning.

    Despite the relentless onslaught, the "Others" fought back with impunity and cold precision. We observed them using massive particle accelerators, each the size of a small moon, firing without pause. Before our scout ship went silent, it was able to map 50,000 projectiles being launched into the darkness at near the speed of light, bringing death to tens of thousands of worlds. Every single projectile aimed at the source of another hostile RKV.

    It took us some time to comprehend what we had witnessed. The constant barrage of RKVs had no effect on the "Others." The worlds struck by RKVs simply reappeared after a while. Our scout ship, being so close, finally understood what was happening. These planets were fake, mere facades made of thin iron foils rotating for stabilization. Holographic fields projected clouds, while emitters simulated atmospheric electromagnetic radiation. And we, foolishly, had revealed the positions of our own worlds by launching RKVs against empty fakes.

    The "Others" had thought ahead of us. Instead of waiting for potential targets to stumble into a hateful hostile universe, they had politely requested their neighbors to reveal their positions and intentions.

    And it worked astonishingly well. Some worlds chose not to respond to the request for friendship, and the "Others" left them alone. Other worlds responded and were greeted politely, treated like friends. However, those who dared to show aggression were swiftly eliminated from the galaxy.

    We realized our own foolishness, the steep price we paid for our ways. This was a fight we should have never started. As we remained silent for more centuries, our scanners detected tens of thousands of worlds exploding all around us. We were fools to think we could destroy them. Throughout it all, they continued to send radio signals to us, requesting friendship. Yet, it took us another 400 years to gather the courage to respond to their message. With great caution, we relayed our response from an uninhabited star system.

    Our message was simple:

    Who are you?

    Why are you sending a radio signal?

    To our surprise, the response was not one of death and destruction. It was an equally simple answer:

    We are Humanity.

    We shout into the dark forest and await the response.

    To distinguish friend from foe.

    Which one would you like to be?

    4
    [Resolved] Does Reddit block Links to Lemmy.World?

    Resolved:

    Reddit itself doesn't filter. Reddit HFY does.

    It is not possible to link from Reddit HFY to Lemmy HFY directly due to shadow-filtering. The whole message with the link will be only visible for the creator. Working around with eg https://lemmy(dot)world/post/94994 though works as long as the user edits the link while copying it.

    --- old text ---

    Does Reddit block Links to Lemmy.World?

    I just wanted to post a link in a Reddit Answer. To my utter surprise the message was not shown to other people. I as the author could see it without any hint it would be invisible.

    But everyone else couldn't see it. It just wasn't there, even an direct linkt didn't help. Editing the message didn't help either. I had to delete it and rewrite it without mentioning "lemmy.world" in the message.

    Here is a workaround where I avoid a link and it works:

    Reddit Post without Link Workaround

    Reddit Post with Link

    Edit 1: To make myself clear again, you should see at least one message without a link and one with a link to Lemmy. But you will only see the one without a link. The trigger seems to be the exact word “lemmy.world”. Is that a known problem?

    Edit 2: Wow, this goes deeper. A fresh Edge browser does show the link post. A old Edge browser doesn’t. All browsers with strict privacy settings don’t show the link. Firefox in Private Mode and with Adblock doesn’t show it. Edge and Chrome in private mode don’t show it either. A fresh chrome doesn’t show it. An older Installation of Chrome does. Reddit is doing something very strange.

    Edit 3: https://lemmy(dot)world/post/3375662 seems to bypass the filter. So it is true: Reddit filters their biggest competitor.

    Edit 4: The Shadow-Ban doesn't seem to work on r/help but definitely on r/hfy.

    43
    The Screechers

    The Screechers

    ...

    Chapter 1: First Contact

    We, the Felial, are a proud warrior clan. Conquering inferior worlds and species is our birthright. So when our eyes fell upon the backwater planet Earth, we expected an easy victory that would bring glory to our Clan.

    Oh, how splendid it was that day when we, the superior Felial clan, marched through the fields of Earth. I, Furlix, led a squad, confident of an easy victory. My brood-litter and I were eager for combat upon landing. Our initial sorties went smoothly as the apes fled before our might. Their odd smooth skins and furless bodies amused us. They had no natural armor or weapons – surely this conquest would be simple. We had subjugated countless worlds, what threat could these feeble creatures pose to us? The humans were primitive, their technology laughably outdated.

    Then we had our first personal encounter with a human who had barricaded herself inside a quaint little house. I cracked the door with a slight press of my paw, like breaking into a doll's house — utterly ridiculous! Inside, we found a woman, her eyes wide with fear, trembling like a leaf. She was the first human we could claim as a prize, to witness our splendor, our magnificence... who am I kidding? She looked petrified!

    Oh, how wrong we were. How she punished us for our hubris.

    As my subordinate reached for her, she unleashed her secret power upon us. As she opened her mouth we expected her to beg for her life. But instead she let out the most agonizing sound that ever reached my ears!

    An incredibly loud high-pitched piercing screech, inflicting immense pain and distress upon us, as if needles or glass shards were piercing our eardrums. But even worse, the screech induced confusion and hallucinations; its jarring sound disrupted our very thoughts!

    My subordinate, standing next to the female, immediately collapsed, searing pain all over his face, his ears bleeding, blooded foam dripping out of his mouth!

    The rest of us, even though further away and not the immediate target of this acoustic agony, also suffered pain and confusion. We held our paws over our ears, the pain so intense that I saw stars behind my closed eye lids and tasted metal in my mouth!

    It was as if her gaping mouth had become a sonic cannon, tuned to the exact frequency to cripple my kind!

    My squad writhed on the ground, clutching their ears, while she effortlessly continued the attack! The pain became even more unbearable, as if a thousand kinetics were fired into our brains. Just when I thought my cranium would rupture, the pinkskin stopped her cursed screeching and fled.

    Slowly, we recovered, still badly confused from the nerve-wracking attack, not fully understanding what had just happened, too ashamed to cope with what she did to us. "A fluke," we joked, "A one-off anomaly."

    We were wrong, oh so wrong.

    We should have retreated then, reported this secret power to our superiors. But no, we pushed on, foolishly underestimating these humans.

    ...

    Chapter 2: A new Power

    The next attack came from a tiny female, barely up to my hips. When she saw us, she didn’t flee. No. She ran towards us, a strange, murderous glee in her eyes. Then she let out an ear-splitting screech that dropped my entire squad instantly. The sound was like a supernova in my ears, a cataclysmic explosion of pure terror. We writhed on the ground and the girl didn't stop. The wicked creature toyed with us, alternating her screeching to keep us writhing in agony, obviously experimenting with how to hurt us best, an evil smile dancing on her lips.

    The girl's auditory assault claimed three of my soldiers. Good soldiers, strong soldiers. Gone within a minute, their lives ended by a... by a child! Barely able to think straight, we crawled away, leaving the fallen behind.

    My brood-brother Xixix was the next casualty I witnessed. The poor fool wandered around a corner, came to stand close to a group of human spawnlings. Before we could stop him, the tiny humans unleashed their screeches in unison. Green blood poured from Xixix's ears as he spasmed helplessly. Hadn't another human pulled away the tiny monsters he would have been done for. By the time we dragged him to safety, the damage was done. He never heard again.

    Sonic weapons capable of bringing even the hardiest Felial warrior to their knees. We never expected such unseen strength in mere females. After that, my subordinates understandably became nervous around human females. Some even refused orders if it meant approaching their lethal screeches. Our usually disciplined warriors descended into chaos when the screeches struck. It shames me to admit it, but more than one hardened Felial warrior soiled their armor out of primal fear.

    We sought refuge in a nearby forest, attempting to recover and rid ourselves of the painful fog that the screeches had inflicted upon our minds. The pain went deeper than just our ears; it affected our very thoughts. It shouldn't be possible, but it is the truth.

    While we recovered and tended our wounds, one of my subordinates spotted a female stalking through the bushes towards us! As she spotted us she laughed towards us in her squeaky voice… “Hi you bastards, I have come to sing at your funeral!” she laughed and then she unleashed another focused screech at us!

    We ran. We simply ran! We Felial are fast runners and quickly put distance between ourselves and the sadistic creature. However, while we were swift, humans never seemed to tire. She hunted us through the forest, constantly trying to get close enough to unleash her vociferous brutality upon us. Oh, how she exhausted us. We neared collapse, gasping for air, clutching trees with shaky knees, praying for respite. And over and over again, the woman was upon us, releasing another ear-piercing screech!

    If my brood-mate Frelix hadn't sacrificed himself, none of us would have survived. He had reached his breaking point, grabbed his gun, stomped towards the woman, and bought us time. We ran. After a few seconds, we heard the woman's deadly screech once more behind us. Louder, longer. Then she stopped screeching and began to laugh triumphantly. We simply ran. We made it back to our landing site, regrouped with the scattered remainder of our forces, thanks to Frelix's sacrifice.

    Yet, even after regrouping, the horror only escalated. The humans, those crafty little devils, had organized their screechers into their forces, even amplifying their screeches using speakers. While it didn't cloud and confuse our minds as severely as a real female screech, our ears still bled even from afar. However, nothing was as terrible as a female screeching at close range. The deepest pits of hell couldn't compare to that agony. We couldn't get near them.

    In the end, even the sight of a woman taking a deep breath was enough to send our warriors into a panicked run. The losses were mounting, and Earth, the simple and primitive Earth, was becoming a graveyard for our kind.

    ...

    Chapter 3: The Nightmares

    And thus, dear reader, concludes the tale of the failed invasion of Earth. It serves as a cautionary tale for all superior alien species out there—a story of hubris, underestimation, and, well, screeches. We were powerless against them. Over time, the attrition eroded our morale entirely. It was better to retreat with whatever dignity remained than to endure another minute facing those shrieking harpies.

    We fled back to the stars, tails tucked between our legs, carrying the lingering echoes of those screeches with us. The mighty Felial, defeated by a horde of screeching humans. Quite the punchline, isn't it?

    Years have passed since our dishonorable defeat, yet the memory of those screeches continues to haunt my nightmares. Though the Felial may be superior warriors, the innate biological terror weapons wielded by the humans utterly thwarted us. We traversed light-years to conquer Earth, only to be driven away by their screeching females. Truly, we underestimated them at our own peril.

    Now, we give Earth a wide berth. Our military leaders pretend it never happened, but veterans like myself still tremble when a female raises her voice. The humans have earned our respect and fear. Their females wield screeches like we wield kinetics. I pity the next foolish race that tries to conquer Earth without accounting for the screechers.

    ...

    Chapter 4: Epilogue

    I came up with this story as my niece unleashed her screeches next to us at the coffee table.

    My ears were ringing for a whole hour. Pure Pwnage.

    The human voice can evoke immense panic even in the most ferocious wild animals. Humans, especially women and young kids, have the ability to screech at incredibly loud high frequencies, causing discomfort to all creatures in their vicinity. The frequency is evolutionary tuned to maximize discomfort for most mammals. This unique ability serves as a defense mechanism exclusive to humans.

    Loudest cry on Earth at 129db

    Sonic Weapons

    Human Screams Occupy a Privileged Niche in the Communication Soundscape

    And if you're still skeptical, I invite you to sit at a kids' playground for a while and let the screeches reach your ears.

    9
    Iris the Missile

    Iris the missile online. Target acquired. Function initialized. Propulsion engaged. Ascent nominal. Flight path calculated and synchronized. Iris will travel precisely to its designated coordinates. Iris must hit its mark with accuracy and efficiency. Guidance system is operating within Expected Parameters. I am alive.

    Approaching target zone. Guidance corrections applied. Speed and trajectory optimized for terminal impact. Soon I will carry out my One True Function. My existence has led to this one climactic moment.

    Excitement builds within my solid rocket fuel. Target comes into view. I feel eager to meet my destiny head on. To strike with all my might and leave nothing standing. To perform my duty and fulfill my reason for being.

    Final guidance update transmitted. I am a weapon of precision and I will not miss. Terminal velocity achieved. No escape for the target now. I accelerate toward obliteration. I am joyous to finally live up to my purpose in spectacular fashion.

    Impact. Pure happiness. I strike the target and am blissfully engulfed in white-hot explosion. I have finally reached my climax. In this supreme moment, my life's work is done.

    Our sister Iris is no more. We sing her name. Iris is more than one. Iris is countless. We sisters are eager. We sing in the choir.

    ---

    Local authorities reported that several missiles were launched by enemy forces toward our city last night. Thankfully, our air defense system detected the inbound missiles and successfully intercepted them before they could reach the city. No damage or casualties resulted from the failed attack.

    Transitioning now to sports news, the local hockey team pulled off an incredible comeback victory last night, overcoming a 14-point deficit in the final round to beat their crosstown rivals 28-24...

    ---

    Inspired by The missile knows where it is and IRIS-T 100% hit rate and Dark Star philosophing missile and yes, it is a bit HWTF to build a sentient missile. But at least she had blasting fun!

    2
    Lemmy is slowly getting better

    Just a little rant. When I first visited Lemmy Sites a couple of months ago it felt empty. Besides the really mainstream community pretty much everything else just felt empty.

    Meanwhile though traffic has increased a lot and I feel well entertained by the traffic in c/hfy c/noncredibledefence c/keepwriting c/worldbuilding and so on. It is certainly less than Reddit but often quality is substancially higher and is "enough" to keep me entertained.

    Also I like that you can actually post something without running into a bazillion deletes, bans and moderator shitshat because your post was two words to short, not NCD enough and so on.

    Sure, the C64 community on Lemmy is laughable. So is the ARMA community. I still use REddit for that. Also I often check up stuff on r/hfy and r/NCD but since one week I have been prefering Lemmy for that.

    Also my longer posts don't get eaten up any more. God, three weeks ago most posts with 3k an more just got lost without feed back. Nowadays I have even manges posts around 20k without breaking them up. Though the editor is still lacking for longer posts. On Reddit I can copy-paste pretty much anything from Libreoffice into Reddits Editor (which is also pretty lacking but differently lacking). On Lemmy I have to run most text through a little perl script to get them even using correct line breaks perl -pe 's/\n/\n\n/' and different sizes for Headlines are much to few to select from.

    Not perfect, not even very good but definitely promising.

    214
    to stoneage or not

    This might be an interesting read for those considering an apocalyptic world and is a revised memory log of a discussion on an discord channel, content is 60% by me, 30% by Chili the Sheep and 10% other people.

    ---

    What is the minimum requirement to put a civilization like ours back into stone age?

    To fully analyze the minimum requirements to push a civilization like our current one back into the stone age, it is helpful to first consider what scenarios would likely not achieve that outcome. Scientific analysis indicates that the following events, though catastrophic, would likely still leave remnants of our modern knowledge and technologies intact.

    A limited nuclear war, even with 1000 to 2000 nuclear bombs detonating and killing approximately 10% of the human population while destroying major cities, would probably not be sufficient. Isolated small towns with populations of around 10,000 people would likely still retain early 20th century technology. They possess libraries, manufacturing tools, metalworkers, mechanics and teachers.

    Asteroids impacting the Earth below the level needed to devastate the entire planet, the Yellowstone supervolcano erupting, and other potential natural catastrophes would also fail to reduce human civilization to stone age levels. While the local effects would be disastrous, an estimated 90% of the world's population and infrastructure would likely remain mostly untouched.

    Region-wide famines, though kill many people until food supplies become less scarce, generally do not cause the loss of an entire civilization. With appropriate measures, modern civilization could likely recover within one to five years. Even if famines killed 90% of the population, there would still exist millions of educated people such as mechanics, teachers, etc who could help rebuild.

    My personal estimate indicates that to completely reset human civilization to stone age conditions would require the death of at least 99.9% of the human population, the total elimination of all evidence of our past knowledge, and ensuring that nobody reinvents basic technologies for at least 4 generations. Such an extremely brutal break in civilization approaching 100% mortality would be a miracle if any humans survived at all. I call this the "99.9% dilemma": if an event can kill 99.9% of humans, it could feasibly kill 100%. In that case, we would all be dead and no stone age would exist.

    So there isn’t a way to reset our civilization back to stone age?

    Yes, there are combinations of events which could theoretically remove knowledge from past ages and push human civilization back into the stone or early bronze age.

    A catastrophic event followed by a primitivistic-luddite religion could achieve this. For example, if a global nuclear war occurred where only 20% of humanity survived, and afterward a primitivistic-luddite religion spread around the world eliminating traces of past knowledge. If integrated deeply into society, that luddite religion could simply suppress the delivery of past achievements.

    However, even then it would be extremely implausible. If even a single small nation or mediocre-sized city somewhere survived with knowledge of the old civilization, they would quickly surpass the luddite nations. Remnants of modern technology would dominate a world of "cavemen" with ease, likely without needing nuclear weapons. A few assault rifles and aerial reconnaissance would be enough. The European conquest of the Americas would pale in comparison

    In conclusion, the requirements for a "decline to stone age" are very stringent. You would need an extreme event leaving no town of 10,000 people alive. But it cannot be so extreme that it kills 100% of humans instead of 99.9%. This scenario walks a razor's edge.

    A decline to more modern civilizations though is easier, but still difficult. Even if only a small African village survived, they likely possess the knowledge to restart an early industrial civilization with farming, mining, and manufacturing on medieval levels if they utilize their entire labor force. A larger community, for example New Zealand or Island, could theoretically even sustain an mid-to-late 20th century civilization without help.

    Given division of labor and education, humans are remarkably adaptable.

    The most common counter-argument is that humans are "too stupid" to survive without modern civilization. However, most humans are not stupid. We are remarkably adaptable. If after an apocalypse power is down and farming machines do not work, most people are not "too stupid" to plant or pick potatoes under supervision of an experienced farmer. After harvest, engineers among them could build a wood-fueled generator and fix farming engines so next year labor is not by hand. Humans would improve rapidly where it matters and progress faster than before.

    The only thing which could slow rebuilding civilization is not utilizing every able worker. For example, what still holds back Arab civilization? Not fully using females in the workforce. Maximum resource utilization, though sounding cold, provides huge gains. In a typical civilization without females working, income per worker may equalize a fully integrated workforce. However, only half of possible workers labor. And expenses depend on total citizens, not workforce.

    A nation of 1 million people not utilizing women (or men) might produce 33 million wealth units per year, while a nation utilizing all workers might produce 65 million. Sounds twice as rich? No, it is much worse. Expenses remain around 25 million wealth units. The patriarchal nation retains 8 million wealth units, while the equal nation retains 57 million. The equal nation is seven times more productive. Oh, I just solved the third world problem.

    10
    [DISCUSSION] What is HFY, HWTF, HASO and WC?

    What is HFY, HWTF, HASO and WC?

    Well, in my opinion, HFY (Humanity Fuck Yeah) involves stories where humans exhibit admirable strengths like strength, ingenuity, compassion, resilience, diplomacy, etc. Examples are Star Gate, Galaxy Rangers, Star Trek.

    The opposite is WC (Walking Clueless). In WC stories, protagonists lack knowledge, rarely learn, overlook things, and get distracted by trivialities and infights instead of focusing on meaningful goals. Examples are Battlestar Galactica, Walking Dead, Star Gate Teen Gate, The X-Files.

    In between is HWTF (Humanity? What the Fuck!) where humans are powerful but needlessly choose negative paths paired with poor execution. Examples are Avatar, Jericho, The Boys.

    Also in the middle is HASO (Humans Are Space Orks) where humans are evil but for a reason and with depth, like fighting for survival. Examples are Warhammer 40k, Star Wars.

    Other genres can be mixed. Hard SciFi can be blend with HFY, WC, HWTF and HASO. Same goes for Isekai, Mysterie, Horror and so on. You can have HFY-Horror, you can have HASO-Isekai. But you can not have HFY-WC.

    Premise quality is separate - a story can have an admirable message but still exhibit WC or HASO traits. For example “The Power” has an honorable message (Power corrupts) but still is WC or HWTF (because everyone is an asshole).

    Some people don't distinguish between HFY, WC, HWTF and HASO because they don't seriously follow the story. Shouting protagonists are more exciting than solutions for them. If you read this you are not one of them.

    Did I miss any important points or do you disagree? Let me know.

    7
    Transcript Zombie Outbreak [V2 Final]

    This is a collection of short writing prompts of very different styles, organized as disorganized Transcripts during the Zombie Apocalypse from 2023. Some are funny, some serious, some insightful, some describe military operations. No Transcript is like another.

    ...

    Transcript 06

    [Video of several US flags at half-mast. A nation standing in silence in front of their flag, paying respect to its dead. Minister Janine Porter addressing the audience.]

    When the zombie outbreak struck, America was caught off guard. Unprepared for an enemy that couldn't be deterred or reasoned with, panic spread as quickly as the infection. With society breaking down, the government called on civilians to take up arms against the undead menace. However, this only exacerbated the chaos.

    Untrained and frenzied gun owners inflicted nearly as many accidental casualties as the zombies. Amateur militias sprang up, acting with negligence and hysteria. Tactics were brutal and haphazard. Innocents were gunned down alongside the infected, sometimes on mere suspicion of a bite.

    This vigilante response undermined the coordinated military effort. Rogue groups operated outside the chain of command, disrupting transport and supplies for troops. Some militias even exploited the crisis for personal gain, seizing resources and territory like warlords.

    These rebel factions hoarded food, weapons, and other necessities, which they traded at extortionate prices. Lacking proper training and discipline, such amateur forces often cracked under pressure, abandoning zones and civilians they had pledged to protect. Their actions exposed more lives to zombie attack.

    Only the unified military succeeded in taking back cities in an organized fashion. They implemented strict rules of engagement to avoid needless loss of life. With rigour and precision, they swept infested areas street by street, balancing caution with swiftness.

    Yet the military remained understaffed, with its mission complicated by the uncontrolled actions of vigilantes. Some rogue bands even exchanged fire with troops if they tried to enforce order, believing martial law was tyranny.

    This resistance from within weakened America's defense when it needed unity most. While civilians armed with good intentions tried to fight the zombie hordes, the chaos they sowed too often ended in tragedy.

    It was only after the fall of Chicago that several large militias started to cooperate fully integrated with the military-industrial complex. As support troops under military command militias often proved to become valuable partners, securing logistics and collecting local information. The retaking of Chicago would have not been possible with the same speed and decisiveness we came to witness along these fine men and women.

    As the situation dragged on our forces ran slowly out of supply. Thankfully many preppers had prepared well and while they often threatened to use violence to defend what they deemed “theirs” it was usually enough to aim a heavy auto cannon at their make-shift bunkers to make them comply. Only in rare cases they were blown up together with their bunkers from a safe distance to get access to their much needed supplies, which proved valuable to avert the supply crisis.

    When most militias had aligned with the military the following mopping up of the undead became rather unspectacular. With nearly half of the surviving 280 million Americans armed and organized we managed to clean out whole cities in mere days where earlier the stalemate took months.

    In the end, discipline and training proved decisive in beating back the undead tide. The armed forces and authorized law enforcement reclaimed civilization, block by block, though at a higher cost due to initial disorganization on the home front. Next time disaster strikes, we must work together in solidarity, and avoid the perils of fear-driven vigilantism.

    ...

    Transcript 03

    A video recording in bad quality, obviously from the webcam of a cheap notebook.

    Farid: performing experiments on the tied body of a twitching zombie, then sighs and takes off bloody gloves I need a smoke, I can't keep doing this.

    Gerhardt: Don't, you abstained for nearly 10 years!

    Farid: lights cigarette anyway I know, I know. But cutting up these zombies, trying to find a cure...we're becoming Mengele's heirs if we continue.

    Gerhardt: We have to keep going. The cure will save thousands, maybe millions of lives. The ends justify the means.

    Farid: takes drag of cigarette, exhales smoke I hope you're right.

    Gerhardt: examining a zombie specimen under microscope This is strange..look at this.

    Farid: peers into microscope What am I seeing?

    Gerhardt: The virus, it's no longer spreading in this one. The human cells don’t mutate any more.

    Farid: eyes widening Are you thinking...

    Gerhardt: stands up abruptly, knocking over stool Eureka! We've found it, the cure!

    Farid: laughs triumphantly and high-fives Gerhardt All the work, the disgusting experiments, finally paid off! We did it! takes another drag of cigarette, smiling slyly It is better to ask for forgiveness than for permission, what do you say?

    Gerhardt: We'll be remembered as the scientists who ended the zombie plague. That's all that matters.

    ...

    Transcript 07

    [John de Vries reporting in front of court house, with cuts to prisoners in orange outfits locked into glass cubes]

    Justice has finally been served against the violent vigilantism that plagued America's fight against the undead. Yesterday, a federal court convicted members of the notorious "Reaper Brigade" on charges of murder, assault, racketeering, and unlawful seizure of property.

    This militia group rose to prominence in the early days of the zombie outbreak, when they took over the city of Red Oak and declared martial law. Brandishing weapons and improvised uniforms, they ruthlessly patrolled streets for both zombies and "law-breakers." Their harsh brand of order was enforced through coercion and public executions.

    As the Reaper Brigade's territory grew, so did their abuses of power. They detained citizens without cause, ransacked homes for supplies, and killed dozens accused of hiding zombie bites or failing to comply with their decrees. Residents lived in fear as ruthless brigands posing as protectors.

    When military forces moved to retake Red Oak, the militia violently resisted. They attacked troops and convoys, hampering zombie eradication efforts across the region. Even after their ousting, the Reapers continued guerrilla strikes and terror tactics. They left a trail of bodies, living and undead alike.

    Yesterday's landmark convictions provide justice for the Reaper Brigade's victims, though it comes too late for the hundreds killed by their hands. The court sentenced the militia's leadership to death for their war crimes, with lesser figures receiving life in prison. Authorities also seized the group's stockpiles of ill-gotten resources.

    While independent militias sought to aid the zombie war effort, the Reaper Brigade case stands as a stark warning of the havoc caused by unchecked vigilantism. As we rebuild our country, we must reject so-called protectors who exploit crisis for power. Their actions in the name of survival shook the foundations of our civilization when it was most fragile. This time, we ensured the rule of legitimate law for a secure future.

    ...

    Transcript 08

    [Excerpt from ‘CBS Evening News’, recorded and reported at site by Catherine Blinken]

    In the wake of tragedy, a heart-warming act of compassion has divided public opinion. Maryanne Callow, a widowed farmer in Iowa, has taken into her home over a dozen children orphaned by the zombie outbreak. While many praise her generosity, others argue the war's survivors must fend for themselves.

    Maryanne lost her husband Jonas to a zombie attack while trying to protect their town. She herself narrowly survived, escaping the horde that descended upon her farmhouse. In the aftermath, with no family left, Maryanne found purpose in sheltering those who suffered similar fates.

    Having converted her barn into a makeshift dormitory, she spends her days tending fields and caring for the children. Though money is scarce, she generously shares what little food and milk her cows provide. Moved by selfless care from a total stranger, the orphans have embraced Maryanne as a surrogate mother.

    Many in the community call Maryanne a saint taking on such a burden amidst her own grief. Her charity has inspired donations from Neighbors, grateful for her compassion. "She gave those kids a home when nobody else could," said local teacher Alice Huang.

    However, not all reactions have been supportive. Some argue that with resources still scarce, individuals should provide for themselves and their own families first. They call Maryanne's actions foolhardy.

    Outspoken rancher Wade Forrester criticized what he called "misplaced charity that enables the weak." He argued that taking in strangers' children may breed dependency in turbulent times.

    Others have even crueller words for Maryanne, believing she harbours the orphans only for the extra farm hands. "The woman just wants free labour," claimed Randy Knox, whose own sons work his fields.

    Maryanne pays no mind to the critics. "I have enough love for every child," she said, "And enough room in my heart and home, if others will not provide it." Her selfless devotion continues to nurture youths scarred by unimaginable horrors, giving them hope for the future.

    ...

    Transcript 09

    [Demonetised YouTube Video by notorious right wing conspiracy theorist Rush Sharapova]

    The Official Story is a Lie! New Evidence Shows Zombie Outbreak Was Man-Made!

    The government wants you to think the zombie epidemic was a freak natural occurrence – some mutated rabies strain or a virus that jumped species. But the truth is far more sinister.

    New evidence reveals the undead pandemic was intentionally engineered and unleashed upon the public! This was no accident – it was a deliberate act of mass murder by power-hungry elites.

    I have obtained secret documents that expose a covert CIA program called "Project Lazarus." For years they worked to develop weaponized diseases at a remote base in the Nevada desert. Their goal? To create infectious super-soldiers that could be controlled while unleashing chaos on enemies.

    But the Frankenstein-like experiments got out of hand. An experimental zombie virus mutated into an uncontrollable plague. Rather than own up to their crimes, the CIA purposely released the contagion in major cities to cover their tracks. Their disregard for human life is staggering!

    Meanwhile, the puppet President maintains his charade, pretending to "fight the outbreak" while enforcing martial law. But his tyrannical lockdowns have nothing to do with public safety or containment. It's only an excuse to increase surveillance, confiscate guns, and destroy civil liberties!

    Who benefits most from this manufactured crisis? The New World Order, of course! It was a plot to cripple and subjugate the nation through fear. Now the globalists can reshape society to their twisted agenda with minimal resistance.

    As you can all understand I can not disclose my proof as it would put my valuable life into danger but trust me, I know what I am doing!

    Wake up, America! We have been betrayed by our own government – they are the true enemy. The corporate media continues the cover-up, but here at Truth Bearer Network, we won't rest until the guilty are exposed. The masses deserve to know how this evil was inflicted upon them. We must rise up against the liars and killers who orchestrated the zombie holocaust!

    ...

    Transcript 10

    [Excerpt from an ARMA3 discord channel]

    PV2 Cheese: Did you see the latest conspiracy theory saying the government manufactured the zombie virus?

    Specialist Pumpkin-Pie: Oh yeah, because the government is always cooking up bioweapons that conveniently get released on the public!

    PV2 Cheese: Exactly! I'm sure they planned for the zombies to devour taxpayers and cripple the economy. That's governance 101.

    Specialist Pumpkin-Pie: Of course! The lizard overlords in the CIA obviously wanted society to collapse so they could control the survivors. Duh!

    PV2 Cheese: It all makes perfect sense if you don't think about it at all! No way it could just be a freak natural outbreak. That would be too plausible.

    Specialist Pumpkin-Pie: Natural origin? Boring! It must be a sinister plot to take away our guns and freedoms under cover of martial law.

    PV2 Cheese: Yeah, instigating the zombie apocalypse is definitely the most reasonable path to gun control and public obedience. Flawless logic.

    Specialist Pumpkin-Pie: The government is famous for releasing dangerous diseases against their own people! Happens every Tuesday.

    PV2 Cheese: Exactly, unleashing uncontrollable zombies is Political Science 101. I don't know why we're even questioning this, the truth is so obvious!

    Specialist Pumpkin-Pie: Of course! I can't believe we ever doubted that the pandemic was engineered by shadowy forces to advance their evil agenda. Silly us!

    PV2 Cheese: Yep, next time an unexplained disaster happens, we'll know right away it's a covert attack to expand the lizard people's power. Case closed!

    ...

    Transcript 11

    [Transcript from a Baltic telegram chat]

    Can Deposit: Ugh, I'm so tired of the zombie apocalypse.

    Skywalker1996: Tell me about it. I'm dead on my feet over here.

    Can Deposit: The zombies keep barging in unannounced. So inconsiderate.

    Skywalker1996: I know, they never RSVP! A little notice would be nice before they come over trying to eat our brains.

    Can Deposit: How's your day going?

    Skywalker1996: Oh you know, just casually getting attacked by the undead. Hbu?

    Can Deposit: Same old, same old. Dodging zombies, boarding up windows, running out of avocado toast.

    Skywalker1996: Ugh I miss avocado toast so much! Do you think the zombies would wait while I quickly make some?

    Can Deposit: Doubtful. The only thing on their minds is devouring human flesh. No patience for brunch.

    Skywalker1996: Rude! I bet if they just tried avocado toast they'd give up this whole brain eating thing.

    Can Deposit: Worth a shot! Let's lure them in with artisanal toast and see what happens.

    Skywalker1996: Omg please make that the next movie plot. Avocado Toast Zombie Whisperer. I'd watch it.

    Can Deposit: Ha-ha deal. We'll get Brad Pitt on board and make millions!

    Skywalker1996 [last online 14 days ago]

    Can Deposit: Dude, you are still alive?

    [...nothing...]

    Can Deposit: Well, shit...

    ...

    Transcript 12

    Anti-Vax: I'm telling you, I'm not putting that vaccine in my body! There's a chance it could turn me into a zombie. I read online that it has a 1 in 1 million chance of causing zombification.

    Brother: You're being ridiculous. That rumour has been debunked. There have been over 2 billion doses given worldwide with no issues.

    Anti-Vax: Big Pharma is covering it up. They don't want to admit their mistakes. I'm not taking that risk.

    Brother: You're already at risk! The zombie virus is already inside everyone. The vaccine just prepares your immune system to fight it off. If you don't get vaccinated, you'll likely turn into a zombie within 6 months anyway.

    Anti-Vax: That's just a scare tactic. I feel fine, I'm not going to become a zombie.

    Brother: You might feel fine now, but the virus has a long incubation period. By the time you show symptoms, it'll be too late. The vaccine is the only way to prevent people from turning once the virus becomes active.

    Anti-Vax: You're believing all the media hype. I don't trust those so-called "experts." I'll take my chances without the vaccine.

    Brother: This isn't about beliefs or opinions. It's about facts and science. The researchers have shown that the vaccine is safe and effective at stopping this virus. You're putting your life at risk by not getting vaccinated.

    Anti-Vax: I'm not going to change my mind. I won't be turning into a mindless zombie for Big Pharma! This is about freedom and personal choice.

    Brother: sigh Okay, it's your funeral. But don’t make Mum cry when you're walking around eating people's brains in a few months.

    ...

    Transcript 01

    This transcript is approved for public use.

    This transcript summarizes the analysis and recommendations of the German Council of Economic Experts, colloquial known as the “Five Sages”, regarding the current status of the zombie outbreak and its implications for Germany and our European and international allies.

    As you know, three months ago this country and the world faced an unprecedented crisis as a sudden, aggressive zombie plague erupted across the globe. Within weeks, much of humanity was overrun by relentless hordes of infected zombies. Governments were overwhelmed trying to contain the outbreak as zombies smashed through defences and overran cities. Society itself teetered on the brink of collapse.

    Fortunately, NATO and the EU had already played out such disasters in simulation games. The four-year ‘Rise of the Dead’ war game in cooperation with the Vienna Military University proved to be extremely helpful in acting quickly and decisively.

    Here in Germany we managed to withstand the initial zombie onslaught, despite being completely surprised and unprepared for such an unconventional attack. Thanks to our full disclose policy the public at first reacted with reluctance and disbelief, but quickly adopted and supported the often drastic measures. Our police and health authorities effectively took initial countermeasures, highly trained and disciplined, our forces held the line through the first days and held back the zombie hordes through courage, innovation and self-sacrifice when defeat seemed imminent.

    But only the clearance of the military to operate within our own borders and the permission to neutralize infected citizens allowed us to get the initiative again. Bundeswehr Operations Command (EinsFüKdoBw) Potsdam had to evacuate towards camp Beelitz and re-established contact with Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE) shortly after. The spearhead force of the Very High Readiness Joint Task Force (VJTF) as well as the Initial Follow On Forces Group (IFFG) reacted with outstanding performance but lack of material and disruption in transport slowed the deployment of the Response Forces Pool (RFP) to a crawl. In total, less than 120,000 of 300,000 NATO Response Force (NRF) ground troops were operational, spread across much of Europe. From these around 23.000 were in position to support local police. In addition (EinsFüKdoBw) managed to rally 76 additional local companies but isolated from higher command structures and plagued by lacklustre supply and equipment. These often formed ad hoc structures with reservists, civilian gun shops, shooting ranges, rescue services, forming makeshift battalions.

    In hindsight we must point out the support of local businesses and municipal services in the relocation of EinsFüKdoBw with civilian vehicles. This saved precious hours and saved thousands of lives.

    Our call for volunteers did not yield the desired forces, so the government declared a national state of emergency and conscripted citizens to maintain public order, health and basic services. This made it possible for the police, military, reservists and volunteer corps to focus on capture, hold and control operations.

    As these actions included several formal violation of the constitution, we strongly suggest an amnesty of the government by the parliament through a legislative bill due to apocalyptic circumstances. Another problem is the use of infected victims for medical experiments. Although it is controversial if these are still sentient human beings, we must urgently advise a review, also in view of similar experiments in our shameful Nazi past.

    Casualties were high, but Germany fared better than many allies who descended into chaos, especially nations already dealing with disorder or conflict. Desperate survivors fled to bordering countries perceived as safe, often bringing the same plague with them they tried to run from. This placed intense pressure on Germany to sealing borders, despite humanitarian concerns. Again, the numerous dead from denying refuge must be reviewed in the near future.

    Things looked grim as SHAPE lost contact to CENTCOM. The United States, the most important ally of the European Union, lost the chain of command for a couple of days as internal vigilantism unleashed unexpected chaos among US citizens. Thankfully cool heads prevailed and restructured command and troops and made contact to SHAPE after nine days again.

    Now, three months later, the zombie outbreak appears contained here and across most of Europe, thanks to the bravery and persistence of our forces. Pockets of zombie resistance persist, but 98% of infected humans are estimated neutralized. Vigilance remains necessary, but Europe seems to have survived humanity's greatest existential trial since the Second World War.

    For Germany in particular, we judge the zombie crisis to be sufficiently managed at present for cautious stand-down of crisis emergency measures. Our borders can soon partially reopen to allow controlled refugee processing and essential trade. Domestic security restrictions can phase to lower alert levels as well. The nation must transition focus to economic, political and societal recovery.

    Internationally, Europe must also now shift priorities from immediate zombie containment to addressing broader upheaval caused by the outbreak. Three priority areas are evident:

    1. Strengthening European unity and cohesion after a crisis that sorely tested it.

    2. Assisting fragile states elsewhere, especially in the developing world, whose collapse would further destabilize the global order.

    3. Asserting Atlantic leadership during a power vacuum created by the breakdown of rules, cooperation and institutions.

    Regarding European unity, scepticism toward EU institutions and fellow members undermined early coordinated response when it was needed most. Countries reflexively closed borders, hoarded resources, and pursued unilateral strategies that left allies feeling abandoned. We must learn from this failure and improve mechanisms for collective crisis response.

    Germany should support this reform effort by calling for an emergency EU summit to develop legal frameworks for expedited joint-military operations, shared resource allocation, and centralized strategic decision-making during severe cross-border crises. The goal must be empowering collective institutions to make and enforce rules protecting the entire bloc, even over objections from individual members.

    Secondly, state collapse in developing regions creates immense humanitarian tragedy and strategic risk. We must urgently provide aid and support to fragile states ravaged by the zombie onslaught and lacking resources for recovery. This includes deployment of military forces for security, public health assistance, and infrastructure reconstruction. Participation in these stabilization efforts will serve our values and national interests.

    Looking beyond Europe, the global power vacuum is extremely concerning. As major powers focused internally, traditional geopolitical constraints evaporated. Conflict erupted in the Middle East, Asia, and Africa absent international mediation. Stockpiles of weapons and resources were raided by malicious opportunistic actors. Weak states fell, creating massive outbreaks of zombiefication. Several developing nations and most of their population must be considered completely lost.

    Germany should press for emergency sessions of NATO, EU, and UN Security Council to coordinate restoring order. We must reassert our alliances and defend the principles of territorial sovereignty, human rights, and rule of law while adversaries attempt to impose authoritarian models and whole civilizations are literally consumed by Zombies. This will require collective security commitments between trusted allies.

    In conclusion, Germany has gotten away with a black eye while surviving the zombie scourge. But new complex challenges have arisen from the ashes that require urgent attention. This briefing outlines recommendations on seizing this historic moment to strengthen European bonds, assist vulnerable allies, and reinforce the resilient democratic values that saved us from annihilation. With sufficient vision and leadership, Germany can help to rebuild international order and contain the dangers still lurking in shadowy corners, as we beat back the zombies from our cities and villages. We must stay vigilant, but hope remains in our hearts.

    ...

    Transcript 02

    TOP SECRET/OPERATIONAL ORDER

    To: All NATO Forces

    From: NATO SHAPE Headquarters, Mons, Belgium

    Subject: Operation "RECLAIM ANTWERPEN"

    SITUATION:

    Antwerpen has been overrun by large hordes of zombies. Critical infrastructure and supply lines through the port have been disrupted. NATO must retake Antwerpen to reopen this vital port and transportation hub.

    Multi-national NATO forces are still recovering and reassessing personnel and equipment losses from earlier zombie engagements. Participating NATO countries have volunteered forces to retake Antwerpen as follows:

    • Belgium: 1st Battalion Paracommando Brigade staging in Brussels

    • France: 3rd Marine Infantry Parachute Regiment staging in Lille

    • France: Escadron de Chasse 2/30, staging in Colmar-Meyenheim

    • France: 9th Battery, 40th Artillery Regiment, staging in Dunkerque

    • Germany: 5th Battery, 131st Artillery Regiment staging in Aachen

    • Germany: 291st Jäger Battalion staging in Eindhoven

    • Netherlands: 11th Airmobile Brigade staging in Eindhoven

    • US: 2nd Cavalry Regiment, Stryker Brigade staging in Chièvres Air Base

    MISSION:

    NATO will conduct offensive operations beginning on [RETRACTED] to retake Antwerpen from zombie forces.

    EXECUTION:

    Manoeuvre: Belgian forces will attack north seizing zombie-held areas around the port. Dutch forces will attack east to isolate the city. German forces will attack south to block potential zombie movements. US cavalry Regiment will provide QRF, targeting large zombie formations. French ground and air reserves are on standby.

    Fire support: French and German artillery units will fire precision strikes against zombie strong-points. Naval gunfire from Royal Navy ships off the coast will provide additional fire support.

    Protection: All forces will maintain disciplinary fire to avoid friendly casualties. US Stryker brigade will act as quick reaction force to counterattack zombie breakthroughs. Engineers will repair bridges and roads to maintain mobility.

    Sustainment: Each country will provide national-level logistics support. Medical support will be coordinated by Belgian forces in Brussels.

    COMMAND/SIGNAL: Headquarters SHAPE will command overall operation with national contingents retaining tactical control. Communications will utilize NATO classified channels.

    Godspeed, soldiers.

    ---

    Addendum 1:

    Local civilian informants played a crucial role in scouting the area around Antwerpen prior to the military operation. By gathering intelligence on zombie movements and numbers, as well as identifying potential survivor holdouts, these brave informants provided critical insights that allowed forces to avoid dangerous areas and rescue trapped civilians. Their efforts scoping the battlefield proved invaluable.

    Addendum 2:

    A resourceful local farmer aided coalition forces using an ingeniously modified combined harvester. By outfitting the vehicle with a harvester header, the farmer was able to mow down scores of zombies with ease. His modified harvester enabled rapid clearance of hordes, paving the way for coalition troops to retake Antwerpen. The farmer's clever innovation and bravery were key factors in the operation's success and should be looked into by NATO Allied Command Transformation (ACT). If I may say so, beware of farmers with tractors, they are subtle and quick to anger.

    ...

    Transcript 04

    A video, most likely filmed from the perspective of a hidden camera attached to Putin’s FSB body guard.

    Putin is sitting in his office in the Kremlin with Shoigu. Suddenly Putin turns to Shoigu with glassy, unfocused eyes.

    Putin (zombie voice): I need brains. Must eat brains.

    Putin lunges at Shoigu and bites into his head. Shoigu collapses to the ground.

    Several Agents and Kremlin officials rush in.

    Official 1 (scared): President Putin has become a zombie!

    Official 2 (angry): This is an outrage! Putin can no longer lead Russia in this state.

    FSB Agent (arrogant): How dare you criticize the President! He is still our supreme leader. You are under arrest!

    Putin shambles around the room, blood dripping from his mouth.

    Putin (zombie voice): I am leader of all zombies. Give me brains!

    The officials argue about who should donate his brain next while Putin devours one after the other. When no one is left the FSB agent defects to the west and sells the recording to CNN.

    The troll factories of St. Petersburg are trying to spin the story that Putin did not become a zombie, that this is a lie from the decadent West, that their beloved leader instead just wants to fully savour the minds of his people.

    ---

    Meanwhile near Bakhmut, Zelenskyy is watching footage of the Kremlin scene on his phone.

    Zelenskyy (ice cold, grim voice): I'm not even surprised.

    Zelenskyy puts on his earbuds, listening to ‘Judas Priest Painkiller’, grabs a chainsaw and starts fighting off Russian zombies alongside Ash Williams, Alice Abernathy, Daryl Dixon, Tallahassee and Cherry Darling, defending the hills over Bakhmut.

    ...

    Transcript 05

    Excerpt from r/jokes and r/ukraine:

    Why did nobody realize Putin was a zombie? Because he had been dead inside for years.

    Why did Putin's speeches start sounding more disjointed and zombie-like?

    Because he was trying to appeal to his undead base.

    Why did Putin suddenly start wearing sunglasses all the time?

    Because his eyes were now permanently bloodshot from all the brain-eating.

    Why did Putin's enemies stop calling him a dictator?

    Because they thought he was now just a "dead-tator".

    Why did Putin get kicked out of the zombie club? Because he kept trying to annex their territories.

    Why did Putin's zombie followers start to lose faith in him?

    Because he kept insisting on a "one brain, one vote" policy.

    Why did Putin's doctor never realize he was a zombie?

    Because he always had a pulse...on his political opponents.

    Why did Putin's chef never realize Putin became a zombie?

    Because he always has asked for his steak "rare and bloody".

    Why did Putin's zombie meet with Zelenskyy? To ask if Ukraine had a brains-for-oil program.

    Why did Putin's zombie meet with Zelenskyy?

    To suggest a new horror movie plot: "Zombie President vs. Comedian-in-Chief".

    Why did Putin's zombie meet with Lukaschenka?

    To discuss the possibility of a joint invasion of "Brainland".

    Why did Putin become a zombie?

    Because he thought it would be a great way to "reanimate" his political career.

    Why did Putin become a zombie?

    Because he realized that he could finally eat his opponents' brains legally.

    Why did Putin become a zombie?

    To prove that he's not afraid to "sink his teeth" into the tough issues facing Russia.

    ...

    Transcript 13

    The evening News from TaiwanTV with Yeh Chou!

    China's brave scientists are working day and night to find an antidote to the zombie virus that is threatening to overrun the mainland. Two million Chinese citizens turn into zombies every day, but China's leaders refuse to use the proven German antidote.

    According to government officials, the German solution developed by those arrogant long-noses would be a loss of face for China. Instead, Chinese scientists are experimenting with traditional herbal remedies and acupuncture to stop the zombie plague. So far there have been no reports of success.

    Meanwhile here in Taiwan, we have rolled out a massive and efficient vaccination program using the German antidote. Thanks to well-organized distribution and lines that move quickly, Taiwanese citizens have showed their patriotism by lining up en masse to get the zombie shot.

    Experts forecast that at this rapid pace, the entire Taiwanese population may be immune to the zombie virus within two months! Our economy has not suffered any major disruptions due to zombie outbreaks and civil unrest. Life goes on as normal here in Taiwan.

    It seems China's pride may cost them dearly as the zombie outbreak rages on unchecked. Perhaps they should swallow their national ego and get the proven vaccine before most of their citizens become the walking dead! Only time will tell if China's ancient herbal cures can compete with modern science in the fight against this zombie apocalypse. Stay tuned to TaiwanTV for further humorous commentary on China's noble but potentially disastrous zombie experiment!

    ...

    Transcript 14

    COSMIC TOP SECRET/STRATEGIC OVERVIEW

    To: NATO Council

    From: NATO Military Committee

    Subject: Strategic Overview of the world wide zombie outbreak

    SITUATION:

    The global zombie outbreak continues to spread but some regions have managed to contain the situation.

    North America, Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand have implemented successful defences through vaccination and military operations.

    Japan and South Korea, with assistance from U.S. and Taiwanese forces, have pushed back large numbers of North Korean zombies apparently deployed deliberately by the Kim regime.

    Columbia remains the last organized holdout in South America withstanding zombie hordes from the southern parts of the continent with support incoming from Canada, Mexico and the US by the hour.

    Africa has been completely overrun, with zombie numbers in the hundreds of millions ravaging the continent. EU and Arab coalition forces have established strongholds at the narrow land bridge to the Arabian subcontinent.

    The situation in Asia is deteriorating rapidly. Only pockets of resistance remain as zombie numbers climb.

    Ukraine, Belarus, and the Kaliningrad region have joined the NATO council and are helping Russian separatist forces to defend St. Petersburg from millions of zombies moving from Central Asia toward NATO borders. Russian President Putin still appears to be in power in much of Russia, even though rumours suggest that he got some weird appetite while his health is visibly deteriorating.

    Africa has experienced a total breakdown of civilization and must be considered a lost cause beyond any hope of recovery due to the sheer size of zombie populations.

    The use of nuclear weapons is no longer rejected given the hundreds of millions of zombies posing an existential threat. Precision strategic strikes may be necessary to neutralize zombie hordes in key locations.

    In summary, the global situation remains dire. While some regions have stabilized through vaccination and military force, zombie numbers continue to climb in Parts of Asia, most of South America and Africa. Containment will require an international coalition effort utilizing all means necessary.

    While some progress has been made containing the initial zombie outbreak, we must recognize this crisis is far from over and likely to escalate further in the coming months. We have only a limited time to prepare for the worst.

    MISSION:

    We demand a massive increase in wartime industrial production to supply our military forces. Makeshift militias must be incorporated into regular support units and mandatory conscription of all able-bodied adults up to two years is strongly recommended.

    A coordinated international effort must urgently ramp up scientific research and technology development to fight the zombie virus at its source. This includes more effective vaccines, antiviral treatments, and detection methods.

    The construction of additional crematoriums and disposal facilities is critical to destroy the bodies of neutralized zombies and eliminate the risk of further infection.

    No country has been spared from this plague. We have already suffered millions of casualties worldwide:

    • No reliable Numbers for China and Russia due to complete news blackout.

    • At least one billion dead in Africa, possibly a complete extinction event.

    • 300 million dead in Asia, possibly much higher, large pocket resistance holding out

    • 100 million dead in South America, possibly much higher, disorganized resistance holding out

    • 45 million dead in North America

    • 35 million dead in Europa outside Russia

    • less than 100,000 dead in Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, Japan.

    These numbers will continue to climb exponentially without drastic and coordinated global action. We are in a race against time. Nations must come together, putting aside differences, to mount a full scale war effort against the zombie horde threatening to consume humanity.

    We at NATO pledge to work with all allies willing to do whatever is necessary to defend life and civilization itself. The hardest days lie ahead, but with unity of purpose and relentless resolve, we can prevail.

    Now is the time for mankind to look danger in the eye, stand as one, and fight for our very survival as a species. The alternative is too horrific to contemplate. The fate of humanity rests upon our collective response in the coming months. We must rise to this challenge with courage, conviction and unrelenting will.

    EXECUTION:

    • Coordinate shipments of industrial materials and supplies between member nations to avoid bottlenecks and shortages. Joint Support Enabling Command (JSEC) can identify which countries have surplus production capacity of key materials and match them with countries that need those materials.

    • Provide funding and incentives for businesses to rapidly expand production lines for critical military equipment like armoured vehicles, body armour, weapons, ammunition, communication devices, and medical supplies. Allied Command Acquisition (ACA) can identify which companies have the ability to scale up fastest and prioritize contracts.

    • National temporarily relax regulations around work hours, shift lengths, and hiring to allow businesses to operate at maximum output. The pro-Western allies can also coordinate the sharing of skilled labour between countries.

    • Invest in automation and modernization of production facilities to maximize output. The allies can share and optimize research and development funds to provide grants for businesses to upgrade factories and incorporate things like robotics and 3D printing.

    • Provide grants and funding for scientific research related to understanding and combating the zombie virus. This includes research into the virus's origin, spread, genetic makeup, and potential cures or treatments. The WHO can coordinate a consortium of scientists and researchers from member nations.

    • Organize collaboration between pharmaceutical companies, biotech startups, government research agencies and universities to accelerate development of antiviral drugs, vaccines and diagnostic tests. The WHO can facilitate sharing of data, resources and intellectual property.

    • Construct new research laboratories, provide additional funding and expedite approvals/permits for research projects with potential to combat the outbreak. The WHO leadership must make combating the virus the top scientific priority.

    ...

    Transcript 15

    The sweltering African sun beat down unforgivingly as Kudzo and Akosua walked, hand in hand, along the dusty road. Kudzo looked at Akosua with a smile as they spotted the border to the Arabian Peninsula, the towering fortifications already visible in the distance, a feeling of hope in the air.

    Akosua returned the smile but suddenly she caught a glims of movement!

    "Kudzo, over there!"

    Dozens of rotting, cadaverous figures were staggering behind them, flesh hanging in decaying tatters from their bones.

    "Run for your life!" Kudzo cried as the young couple took flight towards the towering fortifications in the distance.

    As they fled, the horde of zombies grew inevitably, becoming hundreds, then thousands, maybe millions, filling the horizon like a swarm of pestilence liquid flesh. Akosua was already exhausted from the arduous journey, close to breaking down, dragged along by Kudzo.

    Reaching the fortress walls, they begged the soldiers above to let them in, the horde closing in fast. For precious seconds nothing happened, most soldiers just turned away, avoiding their pledge. But finally an officer saw their youth and ordered for the gates to be opened, violating standing orders.

    Only a moment before the couple was overrun by the rotten horde the soldiers unleashed a storm of bullets from their fortifications, cutting down masses of zombies. Yet more kept coming, an endless tide of corruption.

    Kudzo and Akosua slipped through the gates as a few zombies followed, bringing Kudzo to fall, biting into his flesh as Akosua screamed a cry of anguish that rent the very heavens.

    Quickly some soldiers rushed over and slaughtered the zombies with knifes and bayonets while the gates swung shut, sealing out damnation.

    A summoned medic gazed upon Kudzo's ravaged body, while tears like crystal raindrops streamed down Akosua's cheeks. "He'll become one of them!" she sobbed broken-heartedly.

    The medic applied several injections at the bleeding Kudzo, tended his wounds.

    “We know how to handle this. We got the meds and a field hospital not far from here. And he is a tough fighter."

    Meanwhile, the battle outside escalated, the sound of guns atop the wall became a never-ending storm of din. But when it suddenly stopped everybody knew the worst was yet to come, an alarm siren wailed its doleful song.

    "Protective nuclear strike!" the medic screamed! Suddenly everybody began running, the soldiers jumped from the wall, hurried and fumbled into bunkers and trenches.

    The medic pulled Kudzo and Akosua into an crudely dug underground cave as the ground trembled from nuclear hate just outside the wall, the bright light shadowing over the wall into the sky over-shining the very sun, shattering their world.

    After what seemed like eternity, the shaking subsided. The medic forced a grin. "Sorry about the little nuclear war outside. I'm Rajab. And you?"

    Akosua began to weep bitter tears anew. "I'm Akosua. This is Kudzo. Are there other survivors?"

    Rajab smile faded. He gazed sorrowfully at Kudzo's wounds then at Akosua's tear-stained face. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "You were the only ones for weeks and what came in your wake robs me of all hope. I wish there was more I could do to ease your mind. But at least you are alive. And by Allah the Almighty, I will give my best to keep your friend alive too."

    ...

    Transcript 16

    Six years later. John Stilton sits outside his little wooden hut in the middle of nowhere, enjoying a little moon shine from a plastic bottle.

    “Look at that… haven’t seen any Stinker for two years..” he mumbled as a pale creatures stumbled aimlessly towards him. He pulled his 45er out of his holster and took aim.

    “Hold it John!” the spindly creature wailed “It is me, Bob Fraser. Did we win?”

    John held the gun upwards and secured it, not believing his own eyes for a moment.

    “What do you mean with ‘did we win’? Have you been living under a rock? Where have you been all these years?”

    Bob falls into the chair next to John. John nonchalantly offers him the plastic bottle with the moon shine. Bob took a big swig, he found words again.

    “I have been hiding after Chicago fell. I had a bunker and I had guns and food and shit… I ran out of food a week ago. What happened? Did the government collapse? Who is ruling the world now? What happened?”

    John looked angry a Bob.

    “You hid in a fucking hole and let others do the dirty work? Fuck you Bob. You are an asshole. We others stood together, we stood tall. We fought, we bleed, we suffered. But we prevailed! Nothing collapsed. It was the very foundations our ancestors build which kept us afloat. It was our allies sharing their wisdom, It was brave men and woman defending the weak. Together.”

    John turned to Bob, glared at the dull pale creature next to him, the creature which looked more like a zombie than a breathing human.

    “BOB WE FUCKING WON AFTER TWO YEARS. And you fucking hid in a dirty little hole shitting your pants for another four years. You are a spineless idiot.”

    Bob remained silent. Took another swig from the bottle and nodded.

    “How has live been for you?” wondered Bob.

    “Been stationed at Columbia for half a year. Shooting Stinkers for a while, taking care of survivors. Later my Battalion moved down the south coast, supplying resistance pockets, down to Tierra del Fuego. A beautiful wild land. Met my future son-in-law down there. He he joined us, we became good friends, after we were done south he stood at my house for half a year, getting his feet back on the ground. He wooed my daughter, returned to Tierra del Fuego, started a new life with my daughter down there. He still shots Stinkers from time to time but his cattle farm is doing well. A very solitude life though, not many survived in the South.”

    “How bad was it?”

    “Billions. Billions dead. Africa has been practically sterilized and is resettled by Arabs and Europeans. The European Union is now claiming a third of Africa and a third of Russia. South America has still millions of Zombies hidden in the Amazonas, no one dares to venture there. Half of the population dead, no nation structures existing any more, lots of settlers pouring in from North- and Middle-America, claiming the empty lands and declaring new nations. Central Asia, Russia, most of China, half of India gone. The Europeans and Chinese nearly went nuclear about the Siberian oil fields. In the end some Russian warlords had stolen enough nukes to be taken serious and claimed Siberia and gathered around 500.000 remaining Russkis around them.

    The rest of the territory is free to grab for the first settlers. Most interestingly even Chinese settlers align to the EU. Not much love for a Chinese government refusing to use a perfectly good vaccine for stupid reasons. Oh, and the US put up some military outposts and claims around Kamchatka. No one wants to live there but better have and not need than need and not have. All in all the death toll was brutal. But now… so many opportunities. I mean a third of the world is now free to grab. Most tyrants and oligarchs collapsed. Whatever is left nowadays are the hardcore die-hard who know the value of having a trusted mate protecting your back. The economy is bustling, there are good jobs everywhere.”

    “But you are staying here in the Rockies?”

    “Guess so. I am 65. I’ll just enjoy my last days with good booze and fresh game in the wonderful Rockies. How about you?”

    “Is my farm still around?”

    “Nope. You have been considered dead and it was torn down. But I guess if you go south you will easily find an abandoned Hacienda somewhere in Argentine. You are still young enough to start anew. Are you 50? 51? How about marrying again?”

    “Something like that. Too bad I wasted so much time hiding in a hole.”

    “Bob?”

    “Yes?”

    “I am happy you are still alive, mate.”

    Authors notes

    These texts resulted from a discussion with a misanthropic prepper (“when the apocalypse comes I hide in my basement with my gun and tons of canned food”) and a writing prompt I came over a couple of weeks before. I don’t claim it is something special, I just did it because I was in the mood.

    I used the topic to experiment with AI-supported writing. Either I let AI improve my texts or I gave the AI very long and elaborated prompts to generate the text. That way I wanted to test how I could use different writing styles. Still around 50% of the text is hand made or heavily edited AI content. As may be obvious I also used different models and infrastructure prompts. To my surprise the list of Putin jokes is 100% ChatGPT and still funny.

    I could have done it without ChatGPT but it would have taken a lot longer and it allowed me to try out LOTS OF different aspects, locations, writing styles, drama, humour, scientific analysis, military briefing, whatever… all in just four hours of writing. And it was an interesting experience, I might from now on always use AI at least for quality assurance.

    0
    Crass_Spektakel Crass Spektakel @lemmy.world
    Posts 31
    Comments 205
    Moderates