Whenever I pick up my knife my brain says, "what if I just stick this into my belly?"

They say your brain imagines these scenarios so that you can try to avoid them, but the more you learn about trying to wrangle your brain the more I think the brain is just a dick sometimes.

I spent far too long looking at this graph thinking that blue was male and pink was female and drawing the wrong conclusions

New canon: some demon ate Doomguy's lasagna and now he's looking for it

Everything old is new again

Okay, but that shit's hard to do in cowboy boots

If only I could be a work-from-home dildo dipper...

The West Edmonton Mall used to have more submarines than the Canadian navy. I think that was before the dolphins though.

I'm a big fan of Day of the Dead (1985)

On the surface, it's a bunker zombie movie. But like truly good zombie movies, it's not about the zombies. It's more about humanity's response to existential dread and how groups can fail to cooperate with each other.

The movie's been remade a few times, but imo the original is the most thought provoking.

Well the good news is that "they" is no gender identity I've ever heard of. It's the third-person pronoun to be used when gender either doesn't matter or is unknown. For example, "I got an email from a new client, I wonder what they want?"

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that pronouns themselves aren't genders. You should list whichever pronouns you're comfortable being used for yourself, and the presence or absence of them from your profile says nothing about your personal beliefs.

Hey, I just want to say that I have a similarly tragic backstory, and I see you. It's never easy, but it does get easier.

If you really don't care about pronouns but want to signal that you realize they're important to people, why not try he/they on for size? People will probably default to "he" which you're accustomed to, but if someone uses "they" would you really notice?

Goodbye

I don't remember where I heard it, but I do remember hearing that one of the signs you're in a dream is that your phone doesn't work properly. Which leads me into this dream I had recently:

I was asleep, when my phone wakes me up. I don't remember it actually ringing, just thinking "someone is trying to call me," so I answer it and do my best to pretend I wasn't just sleeping. We don't have an actual conversation, like no words are exchanged, but through the inscrutable logic of dreams I ascertain that the caller is an old acquaintance setting me up for a job interview. We hang up and I go back to sleep.

Next thing I know I'm at the mall wondering if this was where my interview was supposed to be. I try to think back on the conversation but I don't remember anything other than being really sleepy. For a moment I suspect that I must have imagined the conversation, maybe it was all just a dream. I don't remember who I'm supposed to meet, where I'm supposed to meet them, or what job I'm supposed to be interviewing for. Then I reason that I wouldn't have come to the mall unless I was supposed to, so I decide to fake it til I make it.

Sure enough, I find my old acquaintance who introduces me to someone I've never met about the job. We start chatting for a bit, and then the job interview turns into a scavenger hunt and I'm sent off into the mall with my prospective employer's shopping list. I wake up before I find out if I got the job.

I did this one campaign which was a hexcrawl where the party was shipwrecked on an island purported to hide the lost city of gold.

The site of the shipwreck was home base, but the party obviously wanted to explore. There were some NPC crewmate survivors, so they would assign them to work on projects while they were exploring. I would always tell them that "some guy" was working on their stuff.

Cut to a few months later when they have a sort of mutiny on their hands. It seems that one crew member in particular was fed up with how much work they had to do while the party went adventuring that they turned the crew against the party.

The mutinous ringleader's name? Sum Gai

There's this ad I keep seeing that I really despise. It's for teeth-whitening toothpaste. The actress is wearing a white coat then holds up a tissue to her teeth, lamenting that her sparkling white teeth are 'still yellow'

They cut away to teach you how toothpaste works, because surely you've never heard of this newfangled thing, and when they cut back she's no longer wearing her white coat and says how much whiter her teeth are.

It's transparently obvious that the wardrobe and tissue are just to give you something whiter to look at. But like... your teeth aren't supposed to be freakishly white. It's just something that Big Toothpaste wants you to feel bad about the way your body is. Also, using whitening toothpaste when you don't need it can damage your enamel and cause you long term problems.

Well as long as Bill says it's cool, I guess I don't have to form my own opinion

Fucking hell, this damn shit-ass is making us read this bitch-dick piss /s

Maybe it's because I listen to some pretty dystopian stuff, but I'm surprised Hell isn't more popular. Then again, I suppose the billboard hits are usually a bit more bubbly than all that.

I have the D&D 3.5 core rulebooks on my shelf in the nerd nook. I know that I'm never going to play 3.5 again, but it's the system I first got into the hobby with. It would feel wrong to get rid of my personal history of nerdship.

This feels relevant:

I am not a biologist, but the way I was taught was that monkeys have tails and apes do not.

As far as the spelling, "monkeys" is correct.

You may be thinking that you want the plural of monkey, but because it ends in y the ending should become -ies. For example: berry -> berries

However, that rule is a little more complicated, and the ending of monkey is -ey. Because there is a vowel before the y the ending you don't have to change the -y to -ie and instead simply add -s

English is stupid.

I didn't see a uterus until you mentioned it, but now I can see it with the shells being the ovaries.

I'd still peg this as Jesus though. There seems to be an impression of muscles in the torso, thighs, and pubis.

But the overall shape and the symbolism of the egg definitely speaks womb. Maybe it's a message that eggs (gift from the womb) are a sacrifice (crucifixion) which sustains us (Jesus). Big J was into the idea that we had to eat him for our salvation. Or maybe it's a commentary that life eats life.