Just want to know what conditions they haven't met (despite the fact that some of them has explicit content) and if deploying my own instance to lower load on lemmy and beehaw was a bad idea.
Most of them were badly moderated, trolls signed up there and then flooded federated instances with nazi insignia and fecal porn. You probably won't have to worry about being blocked as long as you keep spam, scam and trolls out :)
You could also use approve-first method for registration if you still want to be open for new users. This brought down spam to nearly zero on feddit.de
It's not for me either, but in my opinion it is a bad idea to exclude weird fetishes from federation. Just because I don't like it, it should still be allowed on the Fediverse. Where do we draw the line between "troll scam" and free speech?