But Apple isn't buying consumer ram, they're spending $8 to put on a different chip instead. If other laptop manufacturers are charging $50, it's because they think they can get away with it, like apple.
It's really not. Other companies with socketed RAM also upsell, they are just limited in how much they can ask because the customer has the option to DIY adding more RAM. So the cost these companies charge is roughly the price to the customer of upgrading their own RAM, plus a bit extra for the convenience of not having to do that.
For example, Framework upcharges by something like 20-50% for RAM and SSDs when comparing to equivalent parts. It's not just Apple, all OEMs do it, but Apple can charge much more because the user can't easily replace either on their own.
My point is it's not unique to Apple, so saying "don't buy Apple because they do X" when literally every other computer company does the same thing is a poor argument.
That's really not the fight we should be having, we should be fighting for a right to repair, which would mean we'd at least have a chance at an alternative to their overpriced services. Even if upgrades are complex, if customer and independent repair places have access to parts, someone will find a way to do those upgrades.
It does make some things better, but there are a number of downsides too. The biggest downside is that it's not practical to make the memory socketed because of the speed that's required.