I'm not ok
I'm not ok
I tried writing a post explaining why, but it's just too much, and too many personal details and having to explain things going years back, it's just to much.
Very very long story short I'm disabled, about to get evicted, and can't find a suitable place to live and not mentally strong enough to live somewhere unsuitable again becuse it almost killed me the last times I had to. But ike I say, there is a lot more to it that makes it too big a mess to explain.
And I only have a couple of people supporting me and they're not available and I'm spiralling in to the dark places where this is all heading, and I figured I'd shout in to the void and see if anyone answers back.
I certainly hope the very best outcome for you. I do understand that pressure though. I was homeless most of my adult life and it nearly killed me... infact, I'm still recovering and all that time on the streets with all that crazy stress has definitely helped keep me stuck currently from moving forward as I wish to.
There's really no advice or comfort I know to offer that would be a viable solution. Especially how the world is rapidly changing it seems for the worst. I'm really sorry you have to face this horrible reality. I too feel I wouldn't be able to go through what I just came up out of again.
I suppose all you can do is what you can do and that's about it unless there's people who are willing to help with the things you can't fix right now.
Good luck buddy! I hope it all works out for you!
I suppose all you can do is what you can do and that’s about it
this really hit me like a punch in the stomach. I'm so limited by what I am and am not able to do, but I'm trying my fucking hardest just not to sink every day and not give up hope, but things are coming to a head now and the hope is getting smaller and smaller and however this end I don't come out unscathed, I'm already deep in PTSD land and this is pulling up so much shit from the past, and in any case there's at least one move ahead of me which in itself is a traumatic and exhausting experience even if it goes smoothly, and just liike you say, you never get the chance to deal with the trauma before more starts, and this cycle is just so fucking vicious.
I appreciate the validation, it helps to know this shit is damaging for real and I'm not just some oversensitive brat like I feel.
Yeah... my situation is not all that wonderful either. I suffer from cptsd among other health problems and it wouldn't take much of anything to hurt my circumstances even more.
Not sure about you but all I have left is my faith and I've gotten to the point to where either imma be alright and make it or imma end up in a hole somewhere. At this point in my life, I really don't care which way it goes. I only care about being at peace with myself and others that are closest to me. Everything else can kick rocks! Been through enough!
We can only be the best we can be and we can't undo what others have done in which has created obstacles in getting the help and things we actually need to sustain life.
Again, I'm really sorry you're hurting, I totally understand the frustration! Keep being who you are and try your best to be at peace with yourself because no matter the struggle and no matter our past failures, going through times like this, we just have to do our best to stay as grounded as possible.
Who knows, perhaps this thing you're going through may "Suddenly" change or devolve. Hard to say really when you're so used to getting tough unwanted results no matter how hard you try so I get it.
Be safe out in the wilderness and take care of yourself to your best ability. I'm very sorry you're struggling so badly right now.
I'm sorry you're suffering right now.
Edit: I don't want to offer you empty platitudes, but I truly hope you'll be ok and I wish you the best of luck!
I don't think you need to spill it all out at once!
Start with something small and work with it as far as you have resources to do so.
If the small thing grows bigger quickly, just be patient and take a pause when you need one.