TIL You can use systemd-analyze plot > plot.svg to plot the service startup time to find bottlenecks
systemd-analyze plot > plot.svg
Apparently the reason my computer has been taking 2 minutes to boot was a faulty network mount
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Anyone know about a Windows equivalent for my work laptop?
You can use the Windows Performance Recorder to capture the boot time and then use Windows Performance Analyzer to view the results. It should also be able to show the results as a timeline.
Sysinternals Process Monitor can do boot logging.