Also I suspect that some people assume that I feel hurt from being single. Some possible factors:
For people who are less able to put a lot of energy into a non-urgent task, I think perceived urgency would be more likely to be the first explanation that comes to mind when reading about my experiences, because avoiding projection is complicated for all of us.
It's hard for me to precisely describe mindsets that I have had, so I have used vague descriptions, and that might leave room for various interpretations. A severe example is when I used the phrase "almost like a goal".
I'm not being sarcastic. I'm so used to toxic Lemmy users that I didn't realize how surprising it is that typical feedback is much worse than yours. While I mostly disagree with your comment, it is unique because I don't need more clarification of it.