If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
Consciousness is overrated, embrace the SLEEEEEEP (if you can. I've known plenty of military folks who can sleep anywhere, including standing up 😅 do it right and nobody notices)