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Uhhhh there's an uber eats looking bag at my door for some dude called david, nobody called david lives here (and as far as I can tell, never has). No receipt on the outside of the bag and it's stapled and taped shut. Does this count as mail? Am I going to jail if I open it? I don't even know how long it's been there, I didn't hear anybody come up the stairs
Edit: I decided to open it to see if there was a receipt or a restaurant name or something, it's literally a white paper bag that says "KEBAB" in a brown paper bag. No shop name, doesn't even say if it's uber eats or door dash or whatever.
Sounds like you got a visit from the free kebab fairy, you lucky duck
Tomorrow visits the...
Harpic fairy.
Oo never been visited by the kebab fairy before! Although I'm not sure how much I trust a fairy to make a good kebab. It's a well known fact that the best kebabs come from a bloke covered head to toe in hair with a thick Lebanese accent who calls you friend at least twice per sentence and says he's doing you a good deal. of course, for this to be true he also needs to be working out of a very small food truck parked in front of the dodgiest servo in the dodgiest part of town
It’s also 2am, you are far from sober, and utterly convinced that ordering in a made up accent gets you a bigger kebab. Uni was fun.
Or a not so free trip to the GI ward if it’s been sitting a bit in this heat
Yeah, I have no clue how long it's been put there. Could've been up to 3 hours. Though it was wrapped in foil so I'm sure I'd be fine if I ate it