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I am 50 years old and I'm about to try Taco Bell for the first time. What should I try first?

A Taco Bell finally opened up where I live, and we are going to go try it tonight. What should I try and what should I avoid?

Of course I know I should try another restaurant and avoid Taco Bell, that's too obvious, but what is life without a little Adventure.

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  • The Exit, and the Food.

    j/k (...except not that:-P)

    You can try to find a Chipotle instead, and get one of their delicious burritos?

    Taco Smell is best-known for being (a) cheap, and uh... oh also, (b) leading the world in how little meat processed byproduct they can put into something and still call it "beef" (I think the answer is 0% now, but when it started it was like 1/3rd iirc).

    You know your digestive tract better than anyone, but I would suggest some kind of a variety pack. Like all Mexican-inspired cardboard food products (Mexico would legit and rightly go to war with anyone daring to call that Mexican food btw:-P), aside from the more special and unique items, it's mostly the same ingredients inside (with varying spices added) but what makes it present different is the crunch factor, which really does impact the experience.

    Seriously though, if it were me I would go earlier in the day, b/c putting that stuff into your gut late in the day for anyone over 20 sometimes does not sit well. Though it is... tasty, and you will enjoy trying something different:-P (but no lie, better for lunch than dinner).

    Have fun with it!

    • Taco Smell is best-known for being (a) cheap,

      Except the really aren't anymore.

      • Oh. Good point. I guess I haven't been in sth like the last 5 years. But even if it costs more now, the food itself is still "cheap" quality, amiright!:-P

    • Chipotle is ass. Easily the worst of the burrito shops that I've been to. Honestly can't think of a worse option.

      • Meh, but the comparison here is vs. Taco Bell, so keep that in mind. Both are fast food but one is real food and the other is "cellulose fibers" that I'm not sure anyone truly knows what that means:-P. Delicious but... an abomination of science nonetheless.

        Also, Chipotle is best when it is fresh, so at a slow shop during an off-time, yeah. I've never found that it matters for Taco Bell though.

        • Side by side, I will choose taco bell 100% of the time, no question. It's imo vastly superior in flavor and experience. I have other non food related issues with Chipotles cyber security and response team that doesn't help their case with me. I personally will never give them money again, mostly because of the security thing, but the quality of the food doesn't help.

          Their rice is good though.

          • Omg I love their rice. One thing I like about Chipotle is their choice to purchase locally-sourced ingredients. Ironically that might affect your experience. I am sorry you had a bad experience with their cybersecurity - probably cash payments would avoid that but you are already burnt on them at this point so that's fine I am not pushing.

            I recall driving through Iowa a few times where in Des Moines I would often stop off at a Taco Bell (or Burger King, or most often bbq b/c it's really good there), but in Iowa City I would always instead go to the Chipotle nearest the university, where with the constant turnover of ingredients (by all the students & staff) it was really good. Not all places are as good, especially if not fresh, so Chipotle is more hit-or-miss I guess, as compared to Taco Bell that seems fairly consistent.

            Also I agree they are 100% different styles - Chipotle is fairly basic ingredients, made very well but quite limited options, whereas Taco Bell is a flavor cornucopia, no doubt about that. Both can be hell on your asshole, but them's the breaks:-). California Tortilla is way better than either, especially for flavor I mean, but also more expensive, although avoids trans fats so way healthier. Chipotle is an odd mixture there where most things have no trans fats, but the burrito (and soft taco) shells do, so you'd have to get a bowl or crunchy corn tacos to fully avoid those. Chipotle is impressively healthy though for what it is - except still loads you way up on salt and calories. Hey, I am old, so I remember splurging occasionally and getting guac on a Chipotle burrito - yum! (it was ONE WHOLE DOLLAR! before Trump destroyed the industry and now it's like triple that) Ofc, eating at Taco Bell is when you just give up on all of that, and just enjoy the flavor regardless of what it will do to you:-P.

            In the realm of fast burrito shops though, nothing compares to what is available in Texas that I have ever seen or heard of. Freebirds is noice, definitely worth a try, except that while it has expanded significantly beyond its initial offering in Texas A&M University, it is not available anywhere outside of Texas.

177 comments