Sorry for the potentially controversial question: is it normal for less attractive people to settle down with partners they don't find physically attractive?
Sorry for the potentially controversial question: is it normal for less attractive people to settle down with partners they don't find physically attractive?
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Relatedly, I know someone who seems highly compatible but who I'm not attracted to at all. How would I even manage that? There's no way I could hide it, even if that was justifiable, so how do you say "you're almost physically repulsive to me, but I want to date you anyway" without being a dick? (I'm reasonably good looking myself)
I really wasn’t attracted to my now husband at all when we met. I remember also really disliking his smell (not BO, just regular pheromones or whatever).
11 years later we are extremely happily married and he’s sexy as fuck. His appearance hasn’t changed (except that he’s actually a little overweight now and looks a decade older) but every day he’s just hotter and hotter. Not like a “I just love him so much on the inside.” Like I genuinely perceive him to be extremely physically attractive (and equally good to smell) and look back on early days with complete confusion.
n=1 so grain of salt and whatnot, but I’d say if you’re vibing enough to make this a question worth asking then it’s probably worth giving it a shot to see if attraction develops
Edit: Please don’t actually tell them you’re not attracted to them though. That’s weird and unnecessary. You don’t need to lie either, just don’t comment on their appearance until/unless you start to notice those little things that have grown on you.
I guess, but like, what if I can't get it up, when things progress that far? (The genders are reversed here) Or just am obviously hesitant?
I feel like that's the worst time to have to explain.
Lol. I get it, but it doesn't have to be a big deal. Just don't explain. They'll just figure they need to figure out different ways to stimulate, which is true anyway.
I would say don't. My ex was into me as a person but I was a skinny flat chested sort and his ideal was fat and curvy. I didn't want to be like that but it's dreadful to be loved "despite your looks". Really bad for self esteem.
It worked out in the end, not with him but the lean body type survives life, pregnancy, etc. without as much change (small don't fall!) and when I got older, more guys were into it because I've aged well, and I feel better looking now - not in an absolute sense but relative to others my age.
Basically - you don't find them attractive, be a good friend not a lover. Just because you don't like their looks doesn't mean nobody will. They might be someone else's type.
Yeah, the other respondent's theory seems to be that she'll figure it out, but won't ever bring it up because she's just so damn glad that someone more conventionally attractive likes her. I don't think I can rely on that.
I'm certain she's aware there's people who have unconventional tastes, and part of the reason she seems like a good choice for me is that she wouldn't beat around the bush if that's what she wanted.
Honestly I never minded being "minority attractive" when I was, because the guys who thought me good looking really seemed to find me beautiful, and almost nobody is really universally physically attractive. She doesn't need you specifically to be into her looks, let her find someone who is. Someone is, I cannot believe otherwise based on what I have seen. (Like my ex, into body types I find grotesque, or the guys I dated when I was underweight who just were so fat-phobic that I could have been a skeleton and they would have approved.)
Someone is into her specific physical being, never doubt it. Don't mess with her head.
Yes, I don't want to do that. Messing with her head is the last thing I would want to do.
Sounds like The Mirror Has Two Faces
If the movie is anything to go by, the secret will come out and there will be a fight but you'll also fall in love and become attracted to them before the credits roll
Wait, which one is supposed to not be attractive? Haha.
Elle McPherson, obviously.