Saplith @discuss.divergentparenting.space Single working mom of a 4 year old with level 1 autism. I live in the US and have MS. It's been a wild ride as a parent, but somehow I'm having fun.
New Process To Purge Posts
So over the past month, this instance has used a whopping 30gigs. That comes solely from being connected to other Lemmy instances. I appreciate the people from other instances who have found this place and find what I (and hopefully one day others!) post here, but it's tapping out the capacity of the tiny little server I run this instance on.
After talking to a lot of people about docker and other tools I do not understand so well, I have a new shiny purge post tool. It will purge any posts from the server that no one from this instance has interacted with after a week. If no one from this instance has liked, bookmarked, etc a post, it's gone in a week.
That should allow me to keep this place going for a while longer. I should probably have the tool attached to a bot user, instead of me, but meh.
Posting from me is going to stop for a bit
Sorry everyone. I'm currently doing some investigation into why the resources this instance is using is spiking. There is more disk space being used than expected, so I need to take some time to figure out if this is a lemmy thing or something else. Then what to do about it.
New guidance is spelling out how pediatricians should monitor young children who are at especially high risk for developmental disabilities.
I Was the Family Misfit Who Got a Hopeful Ending to a Hard Childhood
I was the family outcast due to undiagnosed ADHD and OCD. Today, my once-rocky relationship with my siblings is better.
From the sanctuary of my rooftop, I listened as my family clamored around the dinner table, laughing, joking, and chatting away. My behaviors, I learned, were primarily the result of undiagnosed ADHD and OCD, and my family was reacting to symptoms that were too difficult for them to understand at the time. My repetitive behaviors, like playing the same song over and over again for months, or watching the same movie endlessly, also drove them away. I would be disciplined for my "Bad " behavior, and I frequently carried a deep sense of shame and embarrassment for being so "Mean, " "Crazy, " and such a "Problem. " I was constantly seeking affection and attention from my siblings, who only saw me as needy and overbearing. My siblings and I did the best we could do at a time when there was very little education or acceptance around behaviors like mine. The behaviors I exhibited in childhood that caused so much strife were traits of real mental health conditions and neurodivergence - body-focused repetitive behaviors, OCD compulsions, and stimming. Today, diagnosed and treated, these behaviors sometimes still drive me crazy.
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A Guide For Looking For More Subtle Signs of Autism
Get our handy 3-page guide for diagnosing autism, even when the person has learned how to camouflage.
Sorry they make you sign up for their newsletter to get it. You can just unsubscribe, once you have the guide.
I get the point this article is trying to make about smartphones, which is that they are an infinite well of bad influences. But I also think, banning smartphones completely runs the risk of teaching chidlren to be sneaky and obsessively look for their next access point to what smartphones can provide. IMO as a parent, you'd be better off taking away the "special" of smartphoes, making them boring and teaching good habits to go with them. We have way more ability to control what smartphones can provide than previous generation parents and I think too many parents just shove a smartphone or tablet at their kid and just walk away instead of slowly granting access to things as the child proves themselves capable of handling it.
Together with the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center and ACM Lifting Lives, SENSE Theatre recently presented a two-night performance of the play Circus del Sé, written by Blythe Corbett, PhD, James G. Blakemore Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.
Together with the Vanderbilt Kennedy Center and ACM Lifting Lives, SENSE Theatre recently presented a two-night performance Circus del Sé. Written by Blythe Corbett, PhD, James G. Blakemore Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and director of the SENSE Lab, the play about a young boy with aspirations of joining the circus featured 12 typically developing peer students and actors and 12 children with autism. Through theatrical games and role play, they entertained the crowd and, according to a study published the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, sharpened their social skills in measurable, meaningful ways. One in 36 children in the United States have autism spectrum disorder, a neurodevelopmental condition that effects cognitive function, communication and social skills. "The purpose of the study was to see if SENSE Theatre, a unique social skills program that includes trained typically developing peers, theatrical techniques and active performance of a play, can enhance social competence in youth 10 to 16 years of age with autism spectrum disorder," said Corbett, who was the principal investigator. The final sample in the study involved 207 autistic youth from Vanderbilt University Medical Center, University of Alabama and Stonybrook University who were randomized to SENSE Theatre® or Tackling Teenage Together, an active control treatment condition. "The findings show that the interactive theatrical intervention enhances social salience for relevant social information, such as faces, and this increased social interest results in greater motivation to engage with others," Corbett said. "As clinicians, it is important to consider novel ways to treat social skills beyond individual and group didactic approaches. Moreover, it is valuable to develop and study innovative ways to provide treatment for our patients that may otherwise be overlooked."
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Live Webinar on August 31: The College Application Guide for Neurodivergent Students
This college applications guide explains how to overcome procrastination, stay organized, and minimize stress for neurodivergent students with ADHD.
I continue to be team file a police report. Try with the school, then if that fails file a report with the school against the child. The age is suprisely low in many states. I've seen it as low as 7 years old. You file enough police reports against a child in a school, and suddenly you've got a very good case to bring to the feds about the school and their negligence. For older children, like preteens, they can even be forcibly removed from the school because the laws they're breaking. People can say you're ruining that other kid's life, but what about your kid. No one was worried about their life being ruined.
A blog about raising children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism.
"My ASD son continues to be bullied at school, but nobody there seems to take it seriously. His teach said that 'he seems to start the arguments by annoying some of the other students.' O.K. Fine. Maybe this is true, but that doesn't justify bullying. How can I get the school to take this seriously?". P.S. Warning to parents: According to statistics, it is very likely that YOUR child with ASD HAS BEEN or IS BEING bullied. You need to investigate this now - BEFORE your child has been tormented for weeks or months or years! If after your investigation, you discover there has been no bullying against your child, then thank God for it. We changed schools to one that has zero tolerance for bullying and our son is in the playground without supervision and doesn't hit anymore, he is happy and wanting to go to school, stomach up sets are no longer and it was affecting him mentally and physically. The child with autism that is being bullied is being blamed for starting it by annoying others. Not only have there always been the bullying kids, there have been bullying adults who must interact him. Anonymous said... Putting it blunty,the little bastards who make these poor kids life a living hell,usually have 1 or maybe 2 big bastard bullies at home learning them there greedy bombastic bullying ways.
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A collaborative effort to improve the outcomes for youth with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) transitioning to adulthood has been awarded a total of $1 million over the next three years from the Cleveland Foundation. The grant will help to support the work of a three-year pilot in which The MetroHeal...
A collaborative effort to improve the outcomes for youth with autism spectrum disorder transitioning to adulthood has been awarded a total of $1 million over the next three years from the Cleveland Foundation. The grant will help to support the work of a three-year pilot in which The MetroHealth System, Autism Speaks and Milestones Autism Resources will partner to build a model of coordinated medical, behavioral and social transition planning that can be scaled and replicated in other locations, within Ohio and beyond. "Transition services and supports are critical for young people with ASD to be successful and participate to the fullest extent possible in the broader community. Transition planning should start early." The first seed for the collaboration was planted when Autism Speaks reached out to the Cleveland Foundation in the spring of 2021 to talk about the looming service crisis precipitated by the unprecedented number of adolescents with ASD leaving high school and flooding the adult disability system. The Cleveland Foundation recommended the national autism organization collaborate with MetroHealth to leverage their complementary strengths to build an autism transition model focused on planning for adulthood.
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Researchers from the Universitat Oberta de Catalunya (UOC) and Parc Taulí University Hospital have developed a mobile application that compiles and presents valuable pieces of information and advice for people who interact with children or adults with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
I think there there is an inherit disadvantage in not being typical
That is what I said. I ascribed no value to being atypical. That's you and it might reveal what you think.
I read your link and it's basically like "I mean that was bad then, this is now. I don't have any data to prove it, but left handed people totes don't die younger" C'mon, that's a ridiculous article that's all conjecture about how it used to true before that left handed people died young, but now it's totally different. They don't provide any hard evidence that it's different, but it totally is!
Let's say you're right because honestly I don't feel like arguing this point, but it's not my greater point at all. Let's say that left-handed people suffer no physical afflictions from being left-handed. Very cool, except every left handed person I know has suffered from being left handed and had to "mask" and accommodate the world being right handed. My point is that realistically, you cannot be accommodated all the time 24/7. It's all great and shit to say that you should be accommodated, but in reality that doesn't happen. Sometimes it doesn't happen because people are callus but sometimes it doesn't happen because it's not actually a thing that is possible.
For example, realistically when I was in grade school and the internet didn't exist how was someone going to accommodate my visual and auditory processing issues? When I was in college, most of the US had dial up and smartphones weren't ubiquitous. How was I supposed to be accommodated and also lead an independent life because those were my choices. Being shadowed by an able bodied person or sucking it up. There was no actual way for me to be accommodated beyond the experimental therapies that I have no fucking idea how my mom found before the age of the internet.
Being typical is easier. If you are 7ft it sucks. if you are 3ft and an adult it sucks. The world is not made for you. And you have to pay in ever time or money to get a great many things that other people effortlessly get. I would wish that on my kid. I don't care whatever fucking super power you think she'll get. I want her to spent her time at the park with her friends instead of at doctor's offices. I want her to hang to go to summer camp without me worrying if whatever aid will quit and then she'll have to come home. I want to spend my money to sent her to her fancy ass school and not worry that they'll tell me that she can't have the best education because she's too much trouble and she can go to the public school where she'll be accommodated all day long and isolated and miss out on so much.
Fuck that. I want my kid to be typical. I don't want her to need any kind of accommodation. I don't even want her to need glasses or braces or any other acceptable kind of accommodation because that's living life a little harder and what parent wants that for their kid? That's my point. I don't want it to be harder. And when you need accommodation, it's harder. Even something as minor as needing glasses for the rest of your life is harder than never needing them at all. If you can't understand that point, then you're just delusional.
I’m dyslexic—and my neurodiversity is my entrepreneurial superpower
Approximately 20% of people identify as neurodivergent, representing one-fifth of the entire world's population. Given this, it's shocking that most professional environments don't put more effort into accommodating neurodivergent people, whose abilities can contribute in significant ways to the company's success. Unemployment rates among neurodivergent adults are alarmingly high, ranging from 30 to 40%, a rate three times greater than that of individuals with physical disabilities and eight times higher than those without disabilities. As if we needed more proof that workplaces across the globe are simply engaged in diversity theater, a recent study discovered that 50% of leaders and managers express discomfort with hiring individuals who are neurodivergent. Neurodivergent individuals possess unique talents, perspectives, and problem-solving abilities that can give organizations a competitive advantage. Leaving these skills untapped does a huge disservice to neurodivergent individuals and employers who are constantly exhorting employees to think outside the box. Supporting neurodiverse employees Many resources exist on how employers can support neurodiverse team members, but as someone who only recently discovered that I am neurodivergent, the most effective way I've found to overcome my dyslexia-related challenges has been to talk about it with my colleagues.
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Evidence-Based Treatment in Practice: PCIT Research on Addressing Individual Differences and Diversity Through the Lens of 20 Years of Service
Summarizing recent trends in PCIT research and providing practical guidance on PCIT as part of an evidence-based program for families addressing diverse needs
University of Alabama researchers have developed an effective prevention program that can improve a child's stress physiology and make lasting impacts on social skills, impulsive anger and aggression.
With support from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, Dr. Caroline Boxmeyer, professor of psychiatry and behavioral medicine with the UA College of Community Health Sciences, led a study on Mindful Coping Power, a new format of the Coping Power prevention program. Mindful Coping Power provides training to increase a child's social competence and self-regulation to reduce aggressive behavior and prevent later problems such as substance use and delinquency. Mindful Coping Power also coaches parents on positive parenting and mindfulness. In previous research, the Coping Power prevention program had long-lasting effects on reducing proactive aggression, a more intentional, goal-directed form of aggression. "Our team at UA has been leading this work, nationally and internationally, through the development, testing and dissemination of the Coping Power prevention program, which has more than 25 years of evidence demonstrating its effectiveness," Boxmeyer said. "Despite the proven effectiveness of Coping Power, it can be challenging to impact behaviors that are more biologically and temperamentally based, such as impulsive and reactive anger and aggression." Boxmeyer and the other researchers, including Dr. John Lochman, the developer of Coping Power, tested the effects of the Mindful Coping Power and Coping Power programs in a one-year, school-based clinical trial that included 102 randomly selected fifth-grade students with elevated levels of reactive aggression. Children who participated in Mindful Coping Power also exhibited improved social skills at the end of sixth grade.
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How parents can help children with ADHD thrive in friendships
Parental friendship coaching, a model developed by psychologist Amori Mikami, can strengthen parent-child bonds and foster social skills for kids with ADHD.
Mikami researches peer relationships, specifically focusing on children with ADHD. Additionally, she developed a parental friendship coaching model where parents of elementary school-age kids can learn to support their child in making friends. Participants meet with mental health professionals and other parents of kids with ADHD for 10 sessions over several weeks to practice strategies to improve their child's social behavior. A key goal for many parents who use this approach is to help their child have successful playdates and - ideally - deepen their friendships. "Many parents, especially parents of kids with ADHD, have had the experience where they tell their child something - and maybe it's even really good advice - but it's like the brick wall goes up. The child gets very defensive," said Mikami. At a family game night, for example, parents may help their child improve social skills by incorporating breaks if the child gets worked up or praising the child when they are able to stay calm. Lastly, the PFC model helps parents learn how to structure successful playdates for their child. A parent of a child with ADHD may initially choose to host playdates because they have more control over the environment than if their child is a guest at a peer's house.
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Children with autism have memory challenges that hinder not only their memory for faces but also their ability to remember other kinds of information, according to new research from the Stanford School of Medicine. These impairments are reflected in distinct wiring patterns in the children's brains,...
Children with autism have memory challenges that hinder not only their memory for faces but also their ability to remember other kinds of information, according to new research from the Stanford School of Medicine. The research, which is published in Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, clarifies a debate about memory function in kids with autism, showing that their memory struggles surpass their ability to form social memories. Memory is a key predictor of academic success, said Liu, adding that memory challenges may put kids with autism at a disadvantage. "Impairments in forming these associative memory traces could form one of the foundational elements in autism. " Comprehensive memory tests Autism, which affects about one in every 36 children, is characterized by social impairments and restricted, repetitive behaviors. Some research has also suggested that children with autism have broader memory difficulties, but these studies were small and did not thoroughly assess participants' memory abilities. To clarify the impact of autism on memory, the new study included 25 children with high-functioning autism and normal IQ who were 8 to 12 years old, and a control group of 29 typically developing children with similar ages and IQs. For children with autism, the ability to retain non-social memories was predicted by connections in a network centered on the hippocampus-a small structure deep inside the brain that is known to regulate memory.
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There are a lot of symptoms attributed to ASD on the DSM-5 that you could inflict on any neurotypical kid with enough trauma. I think we need to pay attention to the possibility that a lot of autistic kids are turning out disabled not because it is the natural development of their phenotype but because they get raised in an environment too disruptive to their needs even before they’re capable of expressing them.
I think there is some merit to this, just from observing people parent NT children. Many parents don't seem to think of their children as people and aren't willing to be inconvenienced in any way for them. Trauma and neglect definitely don't do any child favors. I don't think that 100% catering to a child doesn't them any favors either, but compromise is necessary for living with literally anyone.
Please do not do this shit. Not being able to see is objectively a disadvantage. You could find or create environments where the harm is reduced or even negated, but there’s going to be virtually none where it’s good without buts. It’s great that some communities of blind people feel proud of their own culture, but many of those are cultivating this extremely toxic tendency to disavow the possibility to cure blindness even for those for whom it is possible because they dogmatically latch onto an identity.
Equating autism and blindness in this way gives a legitimacy to these attitudes that they do not deserve and is fairly disingenuous about what autism is.
I think there there is an inherit disadvantage in not being typical. I'm not ND, but I do have several invisible afflictions that doctors acknowledge, but don't have a label for because well premies should be glad to be alive. I can't change my many many afflictions due to having been born early. It definitely was and still is a disadvantage and there is no cure. It's just how I am. I won't say that there aren't toxic people in let's say the blind community who cling to their afflictions, but I think it's important to know that sometimes you don't get a cure. You're just how you are. Premies born after me don't suffer the same disabilities as the premies I know who are my age because they get better care in the hospital and outside it. Great, but that does nothing for me who has perfect vision technically, but can't see so many things. or a great many things I'm just stuck with as an adult.
I'd like my kid to be typical. I want to be typical even now. It's easier. She's left handed and that sucks. It's harder to be left-handed. If it were possible to give her a pill to make her magically right-handed I'd give it to her. As it stands, her chance of death is elevated for no other reason than she was born left handed. Accommodation is cool and all, but all of society has an assumption about handed-ness. This neurodiversity. I wish I could give her a pill to make her neurotypical. Shit I wish I could take a pill that could make my brain process things right like it would have if I was physically okay at the right times. But... I don't think that will happen for me or her and I think it's okay to accept that. It's okay to take a fix if it ever happens too.
Wholly unsurprising, but very sad. I have to say I'm very shocked that Florida is in compliance. There are some shockers in all the categories.
The majority of states have failed to meet their obligations to serve students with disabilities for multiple years in a row, a new audit shows.
Autistic Traits Can Undermine Young Children’s Relationships, but Aggressive Behavior Is the Bigger Risk
Tackling behavioral issues is vital, along with strategies at school and home to help children understand and interact.
How do we ensure that the lives of children with autistic traits are not harmed by rejection? We know that young children with autistic traits are more likely to experience rejection and non-acceptance, even when the traits are at a low level. Our study identified a particularly vulnerable group of young children with autistic traits: those who are also aggressive and disruptive. Children with autistic traits who also have behavioral problems need the most support with their peer relationships. Some programs focus on reducing children's behavior problems, especially when the problems are above and beyond the autistic traits that most convincingly predicted poor relationships in our study. In many cases, children with autistic traits can and do have friendships and experience acceptance. Our findings suggest many opportunities for improving the relationships of children with autistic traits.
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Thanks for the rec. I'll check it out.
A recent poll has found that 1.8 million people in the UK are self-medicating using cannabis, a 29 per cent rise from 2019
A recent poll has found that 1.8 million people in the UK are self-medicating using cannabis, a 29 per cent rise from 2019. The number of people using weed to self-medicate is rising too, up 29 per cent since 2019, with Brits spending roughly £3.57 billion a year on cannabis for health reasons. As of March 2023, there are roughly 20,000 people in the UK using medical cannabis - but there should be so many more. "Patients are eligible to get a medical cannabis prescription if they have tried two traditionally prescribed medications that have not worked. Once you have proof of this, including your medical records and patient history, you will need to speak with a specialist or be referred to a specialist." Essentially, it's a long, drawn out process - so it's easy to see why some people choose to just hit up their dealer, in spite of the risks that come with it. Eve no longer self-medicates - she stopped once she discovered Sapphire Clinics, the UK's first private medical cannabis clinic - and now, she gets her weed prescribed. There's a reason people have been using cannabis for its medicinal reasons for centuries. There's still a long way to go - in terms of decriminalisation, legalisation, and improving access to medicinal cannabis - but the writing's on the wall, as more and more research seems to suggest that cannabis has the potential to transform the lives of neurodivergent people.
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Decision to continue treatment for ADHD over the summer should be made in consultation with the parents, treating physician and the children themselves, neurologist specializing in ADHD in children says
The article focuses on this one little boy, but really this problem is systematic there. This is absolutely awful. What if a child with special needs was being abused? This situation proves the state doesn't care about those kids and would have left them right where they were.
I would love it if this were something on the market. I worry a lot about my daughter's mental health. She gets anxious easily and at the end of every school term, she seems burnt out. It would be good if I had something that could show me the build up, so I could alert her teachers or change what's happening at home
I feel like what's wrong is that we think that even mental illnesses need fixing. There are some mental illnesses which can be fixed. They are temporary state in the same way that a cold is a temporary state. However, some mental illnesses are just how you are. You can take steps to mitigate it like the way that someone who can walk uses a wheelchair, but fundamentally it's all just life-aids, not a fix. If you have clinical depression, those pills are just life aids, they are not fixing anything. It's completely unlike when I fell into a depressive episode once. The pills fixed me because for me it was a temporary state. after a month I could just walk away. I think that's a difference that needs to be understood. A person who broke their legs using a wheelchair is completely different than an amputee using a wheelchair. One uses the wheel chair as a temporary aid until they are "fixed" and one has an eternal state that will always need the aid.
I think it's unfortunate that people feel shame about needing life-aids permanently or temporarily. I was born physically disabled and I lean on any crutch I can. I really think this is why I've been able to effortlessly support my child and she doesn't feel any kind of way about her condition with autism. I'm always saddened by parents who refuse to give their kid life-aids because they want them to be "normal". Even before I knew my kid had ASD I offered her anything that would aid her because who cares really. I want her to be happy and successful and if you complete the race in a wheelchair, you still completed the race which is more than some people can do even able and with a wheelchair.
What confused her, she says, was that autism tended to be understood as a clearly differentiated condition, largely associated with people who were either non verbal or had very limited speech, and appeared somehow cut off from other individuals. Her daughter, by contrast, was “the most loving, affectionate child you could ever hope to meet”
This was a quote that really spoke ot me. It's why I considered so many options before ASD. I'm very lucky that you basically must test for ASD before the other things I was considering in my area. ASD most certainly wasn't on my radar. My daughter is so cuddly and affectionate after all. She must be ADHD and just in an enternal daydream. That's why she doesn't talk and rarely listens I told myself.
I thought you guys would find this article interesting. I think the answers are thought provoking for anyone who has any kind of invisible struggle.
This was such an interesting read for me. I'm not ND, but I was very physically disabled as an adult and I'm minorly physically disabled now. I also got MS recently to add to the stack. I have nothing but invisible disabilities and it's very annoying. People have a lot of opinions about what I can do and they never match my own. It's hard to own the word disabled when I mostly live a normal life. I'm so very capable compared to most, but I definitely need accomodation that I often have to provide for myself. I definitely connect to my daughter's current and future struggles.
That really sucks. Hopefully there will eventually be something to help in a useful time frame.
Honestly, what I did was Google "city Name events" and have a browse about whatever came up. Me and event Brite are besties and I have curated a bunch of Facebook pages to follow. There's a bunch of local stuff to do for kids.
When my kid was very young she mostly liked looking at things, so we went to farmer's markets, festivals, craft fairs. Anything where there was a lot to look at. Picking strategic times to go ro the park is also great. People take their young kids around 10am. School aged kids pop up around 4 or 5pm. In between that it's really random. If you can keep a schedule you'll run into the same parents over and over.
My kid is 4 and trustworthy out and about, so mostly we just try random things. I'm new to the area, so it gives me an excuse. Maybe we'll hit up a skatepark (she loves her scooter), maybe a new restaurant, maybe we'll just walk around an area or check out a festival. I think I realized when she was 3 that there were very few venues that are explicitly not for kids so eff it, let's check it out. How long can a toddler last on a museum? My kid, about an hour which is pretty good.
Along the way I teach her how to operate in adult spaces and how she can have fun even if it isn't specifically for kids. We're gotten to the point where she just tells me she's bored and wants to leave instead of screaming lol
Report him please. He's gonna cripple or kill someone.
Also what I use for fatigue is a supplement called coq10. It's not magic, but it does give me a few more hours of energy before I can't move and makes me feel almost normal waking up. I don't know if it will work with your condition, since it mostly helps where your fatigue is caused by your body spending a lot of time healing itself, but maybe worth a shot?
I think you need yo file a complaint against scumbag doctor. The more you write, the more I think he needs some evidence stacked against him for the day that someone can bring a malpractice suit against him. Filing a complaint against him doesn't do anything for you, but it could help someone in the future.
I'm sorry you ran across the most douche-y of doctors
That all really sucks. I'm sorry.
For an unasked for suggestion, have you been tracking symptoms? I've found that doctors have a higher chance of believing you when you have logs. Probably wouldn't have done shit with that scumbag doctor, but sometimes what can sound minor is alarming when you can prove how long it's been happening.
It's been a long road. I realized the first thing I had to teach her was the concept of a mistake because honestly most of the stuff she did to say sorry about wasn't on purpose. She kicked me accidentally after all. So stared modeling the phrase "I made a mistake" and disconnecting that stuff like spilling water was worthy of punishment (which is my parent's fault). So if she did stuff like that her "punishment" was just to fix it. clean up spills, pick up food you drop, etc. When you hurt people say sorry and say why you're sorry. She's ASD, so teaching stuff takes a long time, so it was a true victory when she did it.
My 4 year old apologized to me without prompting and it was a proper apology not just sorry. She got my attention and said "Sorry, I kicked you." It's the first time I've ever gotten a proper apology from her.