Not even mentioning Schwartz was a huge indicator that this is a bullshit paid-for story from Reddit/Spez. Absolutely NOBODY who would bring up the founding of Reddit without mentioning Schwartz unless they were paid not to. This is a hack piece from a paid shill.
There are also pretty pretty nifty microphone array pi hats or USB versions. A little pricey still for arrays of more than 4 but there are some pretty cheap two microphone voice hats that will work well enough on a desk or counter.
You're in luck! 2023 is Home Assistant's "year of voice" in which lots of development is being focused on a functional voice assistant that is run locally. Some links to what is available and what is in the works:
https://www.home-assistant.io/voice_control/
https://www.home-assistant.io/voice_control/voice_remote_local_assistant/
https://www.home-assistant.io/voice_control/thirteen-usd-voice-remote/
It's a lot of DIY still as there still isn't much of a market for voice assistant hardware that isn't already part of an existing platform (Google home, Alexa, Sonos, Siri, etc). There is much more out there but these should get you started.