Skip Navigation
InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)GA
gaydarless @lemmy.ca
Posts 13
Comments 99
How do you know when it's just a rough patch vs time to end a romantic relationship?
  • It's true. When I posted this I was basically at that point, but it still took me a few months to pull the plug. I ended up leaving my partner of 5 years towards the end of 2023 and it was absolutely the right call. It's made my daily life more challenging in some respects, but the peace of mind that came from not needing to deliberate anymore was SO worth it.

  • Fiction audiobooks you've enjoyed?
  • I recently listened to Daisy Jones and the Six and the audiobook was incredible. The book was written as a series of interviews, which worked great as an audiobook. There were definitely times I got a bit distracted but it didn't impede my understanding too much. It does take a bit to absorb all the characters, so you'd probably want to listen uninterrupted for the first ~hour.

    Killers of a Certain Age is another good one. Written about mature women assassins. It's a fun thriller and an easy listen.

    Final rec is any of Ken Follett's Kingsbridge series as read by John Lee. They're long as hell, but straightforwardly told. There's something I just love about how John read them, too.

  • What single item improved the quality of your life over you got it? (Buyed it/got as present/made it)
  • Blundstones. I live in a coastal city that's wet (but rarely snowy) the vast majority of the year. Having rain-resistant shoes that are comfortable AND durable has been a game changer.

    And if I can mention a second: A proper, long raincoat. Combined with good shoes, I'm able to tolerate the weather here much better than when I'd first moved to this city and relied on sneakers + regular jackets.

  • What advice would you give a young adult about to move out?
  • One I haven't seen mentioned here is familiarize yourself with tenancy laws in the place you want to move to. It is always good to know your rights, and with landlords these days, you have to be as savvy as you can. A lot will come from experience, but knowing what they're allowed to do or not do is priceless.

  • What do you eat and drink every day?
  • Steel cut oats boiled with fruit, sweetened with maple syrup, and served with some type of dairy. I always use cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and ground ginger!

    Fruit is either:

    • Cut apples
    • Frozen blueberries or strawberries

    Dairy is either:

    • A drizzle of milk
    • A couple tablespoons of plain greek yogurt
  • Do you get seasonal affective disorder?
  • I have regular ole bipolar disorder but I find that I tend to have depressive mood episodes more often in the depths of winter, when it's darkest and coldest. Before I was medicated, I routinely blanked out basically from December to February.

  • I've been blocking ads for so long that actually seeing them feels perverse
  • Does anyone have recommendations on how to block ads on Android without rooting? I've tried AdAway but it doesn't seem to be terribly effective. I'm pretty tied into Chrome and would prefer not to change browsers but I understand I might have to.

  • YouTube Music rolling out Now Playing redesign with comments
  • It's sad that music UX is adopting these principles, tbh. Music is inherently a long(er) form experience. It deserves separate treatment. The last thing I personally want is for music apps to try to suck my attention as much as text- and video-based apps do. I know I'm fighting against the app economy headwinds in that desire, but I still dare to dream...

  • YouTube Music rolling out Now Playing redesign with comments
  • I definitely don't want to see how many people like a song I'm listening to or what they have to say about it. I want my music experience to be more personal. I will just go to normal YouTube if I want to discuss something.

    Ugh, I still miss GPM so much. YTM is worse to me in just about every way.

  • Am I just a grudge-holder? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My GF doesn't seem to be as empathetic as I need her to be.
  • I think it is worth discussing what "empathetic" means to both of you, as I get the impression that you have differing perspectives. For example, I noticed you said that you listen to her problems and try to find solutions. Some folks find that "problem-solving" behaviour invalidating rather than empathetic, while others actually prefer that approach. It is hard to know which camp your girlfriend falls into without having a frank discussion. I would also consider what behaviours or attitudes she would need to display for it to come across as empathetic to you. Maybe she also feels like she's appropriately listening, even though that's not been your experience. It is hard to pin these things down and have these discussions, but if you can manage it, it will greatly enhance your communication with each other.

    Also: don't let it being a tough time become a reason to shelve your feelings. I say this as someone who did that for four years because my partner was always going through some hard time or another. All that bottling up has almost ruined my relationship, so don't be me. But do be tactful and sensitive. Ask her what she needs from you in this tough time, be willing to give what you can, and let her know you feel like you two have some communication issues and you want to be really clear on what's working well and what isn't in your relationship. Give her space to share her feelings, share your own, and then try your best to figure out how to approach the problems as a team.

    If therapy is accessible to you and you can find a competent therapist who has a good approach for you, then consider making an appointment. It can be good to talk to a third party about your burnout and feelings of depression (which is what this low motivation sounds like to me). Your gf may not be able to give you the emotional nurturing and assurance that it sounds like you're seeking right now, but you can find tools and help elsewhere too.

    Good luck!!

  • How long does it take for you to fall asleep?
  • Typically <10 minutes, but under <5 quite frequently. If I get woken up in the middle of the night or very early morning, good luck. I have such a hard time falling back asleep as I get older.

  • Fog bank rolling into the Halifax Harbour

    Taken by boat. Slightly visible are some cranes at the shipyard. Usually you'd also see all the Downton skyline. Very cool to watch this roll in!

    0
    Relationships @lemmy.ca gaydarless @lemmy.ca

    How do you know when it's just a rough patch vs time to end a romantic relationship?

    How do you know when it's just a rough patch vs time to end a romantic relationship? I know it's quite personal and varies by relationship, so I'm more interested in folks' experiences than in a general rule or standard. (Although if you do have a rule of thumb to share, would love to hear it too.)

    Note: I'm not speaking of abusive situations, but of relationships with ordinary troubles.

    9

    Technical or professional writing communities?

    I'm looking for communities or magazines for technical/professional writers. Please let me know if you're aware of any. :)

    4
    Main - Lemmy.tf @lemmy.tf gaydarless @lemmy.ca

    What is lemmy.ca's stance on defederating from Threads or other Meta-owned products?

    4

    [Feature Request] Allow separate app settings for each acount

    First of all, thanks for your rapid work on this app for for being so responsive to community requests!

    I was thinking it would be helpful to allow difference app settings (including filters, layout, NSFW preferences) for each account you've added.

    Use case: I don't want to see NSFW at all on my main account, whereas I do want it (and don't need it blurred) for an account on an NSFW instance. Not having to manually change the setting each time would be a nice-to-have feature.

    1

    Any interest in a Halifax/NS/Maritimes themed book club?

    I'm blatantly borrowing an idea I saw in the Montreal community...

    Would anyone be interested in a virtual book club featuring books set in Halifax, or perhaps the Maritimes more broadly? A thread could be opened and run for a set time (maybe a month), after which a new book would be chosen.

    A couple of possibilities off the top of my head. Both are available through HPL and the Libby app.

    If a few folks are interested, I would be happy to facilitate the first thread and come up with some discussion questions. 😄

    1

    Why are some deleted comments shown?

    I'm not sure if this is a general Lemmy thing or specific to Connect somehow, but occasionally I come across comments that are shown as deleted. Does anyone know why this happens?

    0

    [RESOLVED] Feature Request: Allow different text sizes for posts, titles, and comments

    Right now, I have the general text size set to medium. This works great for titles and posts, but the comments are really tiny. It would be nice to separately set text sizes for different types of texts so that comments are easier to read.

    (Unsure if this is a bug, user error, or feature request—let me know if I tagged incorrectly.)

    4

    Feature Request: Allow different text sizes for posts, titles, and comments

    Right now, I have the general text size set to medium. This works great for titles and posts, but the comments are really tiny. It would be nice to separately set text sizes for different types of texts so that comments are easier to read.

    (Unsure if this is a bug, user error, or feature request—let me know if I tagged incorrectly.)

    0

    HRM council to consider a plan that will fix everything | The Coast

    While "fix everything" is a bit ambitious, this seems like a step in the right direction. I'm not sure I trust our current council to work toward such a plan with any sort of urgency, considering the numerous delays on something as basic as tap-to-pay transit... but shoot for the moon, I guess.

    What do you think?

    0
    Sid Meier's Civilization @lemmy.ca gaydarless @lemmy.ca

    What's your preferred game setup for Civ 6?

    I started playing Civ 6 on console about a year ago, and I've finally acquired all the expansion packs and additional leaders. (While I'm very excited about it, my SO's response when they see me playing is usually "Ugh, not that CORN GAME" again 😂)

    Now that I have all possibilities unlocked, my goal is to find a combination of game rules, options, and modes to give myself a good challenge while keeping it fun.

    So far, I typically do Gathering Storm rules and enable Secret Societies and Heroes & Legends. Occasionally I'll do Dramatic Ages. Barbarian Clans are a must. And usually I disable Diplomatic Victory.

    What are your preferences? Do you have an "optimal" game setup you like to play? Are there any cool custom games that I should try out?

    1