The # looks like two "++" stacked on top of one another

Any reason to have it be self hosted, or really Internet connected? I can think of a few reasons, but I'm curious your use case.

I know they make $15-20 standalone units that are just what you're looking for, but not Internet connected at all.

Are you aware that LineageOS is not Linux? It's AOSP, which is just the open source "core" of Android. You won't be able to install GUI Linux programs on it

Correct. If they all quit, the system has to change.

Ah yes, node, the JS runtime that very famously doesn't ever get used with typescript

Would strongly advise against it. As the other commenter said, there is a... Not great culture (in regards to this specific thing) that would very likely end poorly.

Having extended family in the Central America area, they frequently talk about how nice it is that they don't need to be constantly protecting themselves when they visit us in the States. And to be clear, they still have pepper spray on them all the time in the States.

Especially touristy cities (like the ones you'll probably be at, inadvertently even), people there know you're not a local, and will likely need "help" which they'd be more than willing to offer.