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calabast @lemm.ee
Posts 1
Comments 201
What's a good way to respond to someone that you were seeing romantically for ~6 weeks, is loosely in your social circle, and you notice gaslighted you recently?
  • Do you know if you want to keep seeing them? If you do, or if you aren't sure yet, I think you just need more info. They might have experience with a violent ex, and so they're hyper-tuned to worry "what if this person I like suddenly becomes violent." Talking about an ex would definitely be a trigger for a lot of violent people, so it makes sense she was worried about that topic specifically. Anyways, maybe sit them down and say something like:

    "Thanks for giving me a little time to process things, so I wouldn't say something I didn't mean. I was surprised when you said you were afraid I might become violent, as I've never been violent with another person, and I don't think my behavior is even very aggressive." (Assuming that's true about you, which I can't really know). "I want to know why you were worried about that possibility, and I don't feel like you gave me a clear answer last time we spoke. That being said, I totally understand this might be a sensitive subject for you, so I don't want to rush you if you're not ready to talk about it. But I like you, and I want to get to know more about you, and it will be hard for me to feel comfortable continuing to see you if I don't know what caused you to say what you did a couple days ago."

    Or hey, maybe you aren't the best judge of yourself. Maybe include something in there like "If you feel like I have raised my voice or acted aggressively sometimes, I would really like to know, as I'm not aware of behaving like that. I promise I will be calm and collected if you want to tell me something like that."

    I dunno, or maybe ask ChatGPT, it can probably write up something pretty good.

    Oh yeah, but in summary, I think you are assuming her intentions were malicious due to your saying she's gaslighting you, when I'm not really 100% sure that's the case yet. I'd give her a chance to explain, but if y'all keep seeing each other, just keep an eye out for any further weirdness.

  • Biden Campaign Brushes Off Idea of Reforming the Supreme Court
  • I mean, if Trump wins the election, it might literally be our last election. They have a plan to dismantle our government. So no, unfortunately, I think they're arguing in good faith, trying to use this tool the GOP has set up against them to save the country.

  • Biden Campaign Brushes Off Idea of Reforming the Supreme Court
  • Yeah, that's a good point, I've seen a lot of suggestions that seem to go beyond the scope of this terrible terrible ruling. I guess he could order the military to prevent congress and the SC from meeting or doing anything. Then he could just issue executive orders, or declare war on a faction of politicians trying to stage a coup maybe?

  • Oh, no, the thatched-roof cottages...

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