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TheDoozer @lemmy.world
Posts 1
Comments 546
My best friend, who recently became a Navy pilot
  • I've seen stuff like that on helmets, but not flight suit. My service is pretty strict on what you can put on flight suits, though. Helmets (while still against the rules) are generally acceptable as long as they are not inappropriate.

  • Welcome to hell [Mr. Lovenstein]
  • So two men from Detroit die and wind up in hell. One day the Devil comes around and sees the two in thick coats, hats, and mittens, with a fire barrel between them, seemingly enjoying themselves. The Devil walks up to them and asks how they find Hell.

    "Oh, it's great! It gets awfully cold up in Michigan, dontcha know, so it's nice to get some warmth!"

    The Devil walks off in a huff, and heads over to Hell's Thermostat. He turns the heat up, saying "let's see how they like this."

    The next day he goes back to the two, and finds them with coats but no hats or mittens, still seemingly enjoying themselves. He walks up and asks how they are doing.

    "Well, it's nice to get a little more heat here! Up in the U.P. we don't get summers like this, doncha know."

    The Devil walks off in a huff again, and heads back to The Thermostat. He cranks it up to the maximum and is immediately assaulted with the anguished cries of the damned.

    The next day he goes back to the two, and finds them in swim shorts and seemingly enjoying themselves. He walks up and asks how they like the heat now.

    "Oh, it's so nice here! We can finally enjoy some heat after being cold so long!"

    The Devil stomps off again, and heads back to The Thermostat. After staring at it a moment, he says "well, if they like the heat, we'll just give them back the cold!" And he cranks the Thermostat down as far as it can go. The cries of the torment soften to the sound of a multitude of chattering teeth. Icicles beging forming on the stalagtites and lava pools cool and solidify.

    The Devil returns to the two men to find them back in coats and mitten, loudly cheering and celebrating. The Devil loses his composure and yells.

    "I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I turn the heat up, and you enjoy it, but I blast you with cold and now I find you cheering! This is Hell! What do you have to celebrate?!"

    The two hug each other and yell out happily "The Lions must have won the Superbowl!"

  • What family sayings did you think was universal?
  • Especially hot sauce. I missed that the cap wasn't closed on some... I think Sriracha, and ended up pepper spraying myself. The waitress was very concerned.

    BTW, actually getting pepper sprayed is MUCH worse. Getting bear sprayed is worse and also disgusting, because on top of the pain and misery, it also has a really gross musk stank. It took A LOT of washes with vinegar to get the smell out of the clothes I was wearing.

    Do not recommend getting spicy stuff of any kind in the eyes.

  • every company right now
  • "It has a smooth finish, virtually indestructible, and it writes upside-down." [None of these will be true] "Also, with our Ink Anytime subscription service, you'll never run out of ink! It's free..." [for the first six months] "for our lowest tier..." [three lines of text per day] "with an option to upgrade to a higher tier anytime." [Puts pen in pocket] "We're offering pre-orders with a $5 non-refundable deposit, with delivery expected sometime in the next six months depending on how soon you get on the waitlist." [Two years until you give up and just let us keep your deposit] "So sign up now!"

  • Trump is “absolutely” immune for “official acts” on Jan 6th, SCOTUS rules
  • What a power move that could be.

    "Currently, any act, no matter how illegal, is available to me without repercussions due to this Supreme Court decision. So I am going to fix that. I would like an amendment to be put forth explicitly stating as much, and also would like to have an amendment put in place to establish ethical rules for the Supreme Court and an enforcement method for it. Keep in mind, currently any action I consider part of my duties, including... removing... legislators who vote against Democracy itself, until I have enough of a majority of whoever is left t9 accomplish the same goal. Before that, though, I would like a voting reform to establish rules across the nation to maximize voter participation and remove gerrymandering and other systems to diminish the voting power of any group."

  • yikes rule
  • I feel like George R.R. Martin was doing that with incest. Starts out with shocking incest between twins, and then spend a bunch of books getting you used to the idea until you find yourself reluctantly cheering for a dude hooking up with his aunt.

  • Make it stop.
  • The amount of people with no kids that have strong opinions about how children should be raised is like the people with no uteruses that have strong feelings about abortion and pregnancy, or white college kids who have strong opinions about what words and phrases should be offensive to minorities. There's nothing wrong with having an opinion, but the arrogance to think they have something to contribute to that conversation is exhausting.

  • TIL: How Private Prisons Sued The State of Arizona for Not Having Enough Prisoners
  • And the US military. I was studying the supply manual (not for fun, a large portion of our promotions are based on a test we take once a year), and saw there was a hierarchy for ordering. Most of our stuff is from Skilcraft ("Made with pride by people who are blind") and thought that was our preferred source. Nope! Our first source we have to try to order from is Unicor. So I looked up Unicor, and it's prison labor.

    So our first focus is buying cheap products from slave labor lining the pockets of truly awful business people. The secondary choice is one that helps blind people. Way to show priorities, right?

  • Who is a character you feel is overhated and despised too much ?
  • He had a tendency to be immediately dismissive, impatient, and often outright insulting to other cultures and non-Federation types. The kid needed some humility, and often showed his age and closed-mindedness when he shut out ideas that didn't come from his superiors.

  • What has six faces and 21 eyes?

    answer

    Dice

    (I'm not sure if I'm doing the spoiler tag right)

    5