To echo another commenter… what? Seriously, what on earth are you talking about?
I’m from a working class family in the UK and my experience has been the opposite of yours. Three of my 4 grandparents are immigrants. I went to a normal comprehensive catholic school and I was the first in my family to even go to college, let alone get A levels. I got into a Russell Group university (equivalent of Ivy League) based on merit, and although I felt poor as fuck compared to the majority of other students, I loved it and did very well. I went on to win a highly competitive full scholarship for a masters and then PhD. Admittedly, the people I’m still friends from my university days tend to be the people I met while working to support myself through my undergraduate - some enrolled at the university, some not. I haven’t kept in contact with any of the super wealthy or middle/upper class people I met there, we just didn’t have enough in common. But as a child born in the 80s to working class, uneducated parents, the system worked very well for me. Same goes for my brother. He has a pretty important job in Westminster now. My late- grandfather an Irishman, the 11th child of a struggling diary farmer, couldn’t believe the success his grandchildren achieved coming from such a background. He planned to get business cards made up saying “Mr X, grandfather to Dr SomeoneElse, PhD” to hand out to his friends back home 😂 unfortunately he died before I completed my studies but the thought still makes me laugh!
Fuck the tories, and fuck a lot of British culture/society, but I’m immensely grateful for the excellent (free) primary and secondary education I received, the excellent (subsidised) tertiary+ education I received, and the lifetime of free healthcare I continue to receive.
It’s been 15 years, but my lupus is stubborn - it’s never gone into remission. HCQ, MTX, prednisolone and a boat load of painkillers worked well enough for a long time, but my disease activity is flaring badly atm. Probably the stress of my mums diagnosis, - it happened last time too. My dad has RA. He’s been on anti-TNF for donkey years now - he was in the original clinical study! It enabled him to work a physical job for 20 years when he couldn’t do his shirt up or bend to put his shoes on before. Magical medicines - absolutely wank diseases. I wish you many more good days than bad and optimal LFTs!
I have lupus and my consultants are going to try me on biologics/mabs - hydroxychloroquine damaged my eyesight and methotrexate damaged my liver. I’m pretty excited to try it!
Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Oh gosh, you’ve lost so much. I’m so sorry. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. We’re not the kinda of family that take lots of photos and never videos, but I’d already decided to capture as much of our remaining interactions as I could.
Have you heard of death cleaning? I’d never heard of the term before I came across this article by chance a few days ago. My mum has already started death cleaning without knowing it and although it felt weird and morbid at first, it’s honestly it’s been great. Every time I go over she gives me something of hers that she doesn’t use anymore - clothes, shoes, even body cream. With each gift we talk about when she got it or a special time she wore it. We’re making more memories by go over old memories, it’s beautiful. And I’ve made myself cry again…
Unfortunately she does carry the BRCA1 gene and I’ve already had stage one cervical cancer (now cured, thankfully). I’ve been referred to the cancer genetics clinic where I live, they’ll take my DNA in November and if I have it too we’ll discuss preventative mastectomies/hysterectomy then. I’m in my 30s. It’s a bit scary tbh.
She’s refused to take my hair. I lost mine when I first had chemo in my 20s and it was pretty traumatic. She said seeing me with no hair just so she can have it would make her even sadder. She’s just going to order the same NHS wig she had last time. My partners has the thickest hair that grows incredibly quickly. He offered to grow his hair out and donate it to her but she declined because she doesn’t like the colour 😅
I’m truly sorry you’ve lost both your mum and dad - and that you didn’t get “advanced warning” as I have. Do you have anything handwritten by your parents? I’m an embroidery artist. If you’d like me to make something with your parents writing on it (maybe for the children’s bedrooms?) I’d be more than happy to make it for you. Send me a DM if you’d like to do that.
Thank you again for your kindness x
Thank you! I was absolutely devastated when the cancer first came back and we realised how little time she had left. An extra 7 months is incredible! Now I’m trying to convince her to take my hair for a wig. It will make her so much happier when she loses hers again.
My mum got funding for a breast cancer drug that will dramatically increase her life expectancy!
My mum’s breast cancer came back a month ago - it’s stage 4 and it’s metastasised to her bones. Her life expectancy is about 6 months without treatment. She has triple negative breast cancer which is rarer, more aggressive and significantly harder to treat than the more common hormone-responsive breast cancers.
There’s a new immunotherapy drug, pembrolizumab, which is effective on advanced triple negative breast cancer when given alongside standard chemotherapy. But it costs £3000 per treatment and she needs 18 rounds of it. Her oncologist applied for funding and got it!
After 6 months of treatment my mum should have 23 months of “progression free survival” compared to 16 months if she had chemo alone. She’s only 57 so every extra day I can have my mum in life is truly a gift. I’m so so grateful for our NHS.
Same here. Our core values are the same, but our personal interests are very different. Our personalities are quite different too, but they’re complimentary. What one of us needs, the other can provide. We’re both better together.
This is probably a stupid question but do they have running water? I assume they can use generators or solar if they’re not on the power grid, septic tank, satellite internet. But water seems tricky. And mail, but I guess you collect it from town. And how far is town? Surely an hours drive would be the limit of what’s reasonable?
Looks like the simple fixes are the best! I haven’t had too much time to use it this evening but no crashes yet, and I would have expected one by now base on my experience this morning.
I was raised catholic. Nursery, primary, high school and sixth form. Church every week. Extra lessons at the church in preparation for the sacraments. I was even an altar server for a time. I think I must have pretty lucky with the parish priest/my teachers though because I the most important thing that was drilled into us was the “golden rule” - treat others as you wish to be treated. Even as a child I knew the Old Testament stories were just that - stories. We were never ever taught that god hated anyone no matter what. We were also taught about other religions and not in “these idiots got it wrong” way. Judaism and Islam were taught as basically the same as Christianity but with a different idea of who Jesus was. I took Christian theology and philosophy A level and had a fantastic teacher. We spent hours debating the existence of god and we were never told we were wrong if we no longer believed by then. There’s a name for it I’ve forgotten now, but we compared the gospels to look for inconsistencies and examined what that meant for their validity. You were never expected just to believe for beliefs sake. I’m not catholic anymore, I have too many issues with the Church. But it’s shocking how unchristian the current brand of American fundamental/evangelical Christians are. It’s just so far from anything I was ever taught.
That’s the way they were taught to me, but I’m starting to think I was pretty lucky with my schools/parish. There was no sex ed though so not that lucky.