Oh my gosh, thank you for the reply. I feel that you were able to read my incoherent post and saw my soul. Would you mind either explaining or linking/recommending a place to further understand the last paragraph?
That's in my wheelhouse, thanks for your input. It's going in my book.
I did end up start writing in the hundreds of the notebooks I have and this year has been dedicated to my mental health. Definitely a good tool to help bring things up to my therapist.
That's fair, I do see a therapist, I just wanted to see what others think about it. I get it that it may also be a little too personal with very scant info given.
Is too much self-awareness bad?
I have BPD and major anxiety disorder and depression, and mixed with living in rural America, a la flyover state, I don't get many opportunities to socialize face to face. I do what I can on through discord but sometimes it's not enough and sometimes I just think random stuff such as plans, sfw desires, tech stuff (computer guy) and whatever.
So in addition to my question is that, how can I fight my habitual emotional repression towards "non positive" emotions like sadness.
Thank you ahead of time for your responses, it means a lot.
PS, I'm doing therapy (mainly EMDR, bc trauma) and on Prozac and Buspar.
I like ReVanced, don't know if that counts but they're on github. I save so much time and money by skipping ads and getting music for free