Damn, kids like you have a lot of energy

You want the name of someone who defended comic sans during the 90s/early internet? I wish my memory was that good.

Anyhow, why do you think comic sans is used ever if nobody at all likes it? Why do replica katanas still sell well? Why are crocs profitable?

Everything you listed there, including katanas, is something that had a vehemently passionate following online years ago. This meme is dated and you're probably young, that's all.

It's a dishonest politican and his gang of Thugs breaking the law in order to get re-elected.

Yes, that is indeed what you're being prosecuted for, good work Donny!

"I have sympathy for underpaid workers."

...but they should feed me while I do nothing to help them, instead I'll be here actively enriching the people exploiting their labor.

"But I don't think I'll change my tipping attitude just because you said such and such."

I'm sure that sounded cool in concept, but basically all this says is that you find the idea of changing your mind due to dialog silly. How sad.

"Actually your commands sound a bit condescending"

Oh wow, I hope my analysis doesn't come across like that. You might stop tipping - oh, wait...