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AceProgrammer42 @lemmy.blahaj.zone
Posts 0
Comments 14
Admin update - Hexbear Defederated
  • It was inevitable after their atrocious behavior. It sounds horrible to be caught in such a crossfire as an instance admin. Especially because they used their queerness as a weapon to paint us as the bad ones for splitting the community. A painful reminder that not all queer people are necessarily good people.

    Thank you for dealing with this situation and making this instance a safer place.

  • I think one think I loved about reddit's [#aaaaaaacccccccce](https://kbin.cafe/tag/aaaaaaacccccccce) subreddit was how inclusive it was. No matter what part of the [#LGBTQ](https://kbin.cafe/tag/LGBTQ
  • Hopefully that does remain the same yeah. I think we'll be fine though. Most ace or aro people will probably be inclusive because they understand what it's like to not be (fully) straight. At least to me this made it a lot easier to also understand the struggles of other LGBT+ people.

    I also hope that we can shake the "pendulum effect" that the subreddit had. Where there seemed to be a constant cycle of "subreddit is mostly sex-repulsed memes -> sex-neutral and favourable people feel left out and get annoyed -> subreddit is mostly sex-neutral or favourable memes -> sex repulsed and averse people feel left out and get annoyed -> subreddit is mostly sex-repulsed memes" .

  • Increasing the frequency of asking does not raise the likelihood of it happening
  • This is actually one of the main reasons I had for coming out as aro/ace. Not necessarily only grandchildren, but also remarks about getting a girlfriend etc. Coming out had the intended effect though, it has effectively stopped these remarks from occurring.

  • Can we defederate from hexbear.net?
  • I thought this was a bit overkill, because they seemed well behaved for the most part, although a bit annoying every now and then. But this comment section shows exactly why we probably should. They're so combative and seem to completely dominate the discussion.

  • Why must it be this way? (but also I'd like shark please)
  • I'm a guy (at least for now) and in recent years I've switched to basically using "female" versions of all shower-related stuff. Shower gel, shampoo, conditioner. The female versions are just super nice, whereas the "male" stuff is often "20 in 1 shower gel" or ridiculous stuff like the image is making fun of. I've gotten some shit for it at some point by a certain type of men, but I've actually also met plenty of guys who do the same.

    Times are changing tho, and it does look like more and more "male" products going the right way with actually nice scents and separate conditioners.

  • egg_irl
  • This is a common meme that's not meant to be taken seriously. I don't think OP is trying to literally spread that message. Someone else posted this example further down in the thread:

  • How was coming out for you?
  • Had no real issues coming out as aro/ace. That being said, I've never really mentioned it at work and I'm also a bit cautious of doing so. The atmosphere there isn't necessarily anti-lgbt, but also definitely not very pro-lgbt. But I'm out to friends and parents and had no issues there

  • What made you realize that you're asexual?
  • I'm aro/ace, and never felt attraction to anyone. Being sex-repulsed, I also had a hard time with the constant stream sexual topics coming up all the time. For the longest time I just felt like something was wrong with me, because no one told me that being aro/ace was an option. Everyone around me was talking about love and sex, and sometimes also asking me about these topics. I just pretended to be straight but "focussing on school and hobbies" so I didn't" have the time" for a relationship.

    At some point in my early-mid twenties I ran into a survey which listed "asexual" as an option, and I just selected it without really knowing what the exact definition was, because it felt like a perfect description. After this happened another time a few weeks later (I like surveys), I started investigating what it actually meant and finally found my place.

    Discovering being aro/ace actually made me more more positive about sex and romance, even though I'd still never have sex myself. It allowed me to explore this side in much further depth, and to also find the parts that I am more comfortable with