Anxiety of sexual performance- how do you overcome it? (Give me some tips)

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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Anxious_Ferret_017 on 2023-06-27 15:37:49+00:00.

My main problems are: -i cannot stop see sex as some sort of...well, as in title, performance that i need to be great at, if i want to have an partner (or rather make them don't leave me). I cannot stop view sex like thing that everyone just know what to do imediatly, but i will be the one clumsy and cluesless

-and i don't have any experienc, and for lot of guys that's an red flag (because they want women who know what she wants and how to do it 🤷)- it will be problematic for me, im adult (20) and i start getting older and older (fact that i never had an boyfriend or an kiss, and don't meet anyone because lack of opurtunity bite me realy hard and honestly make me feel worst almost every day (i may have depression, but you know, just another thing that make me feel bad) -escpecialy that im an woman and for most of people it would be something unbelivable that i have such lack of love life, witch would be another red flag, because men may think something is wrong with me.Im basically something like female incel.)

-i hate the feeling of vurnabelity that sex gives. Maybe this is connected with that i have been bullied and alone most of my life at school, but it terryfies me how sex is intimate.