Hope I handled my conversation with my GF about our sex life okay
Hope I handled my conversation with my GF about our sex life okay
This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Quiet-Tax-4455 on 2023-06-27 13:45:08+00:00.
I feel it is really hard to share every side to this so I may miss details
My (30m) gf (28f) of almost 5 months is not horny hardly as much as me. She says it is just a difference between a man and women, but I know for a fact that many women have crazy sex drives. My brother's ex exhausted him. She was so horny all the time and wanted lots of sex. But of course I dont want to start comparing her to other people like that, to her. That is unhelpful.
For an example of what frustrates me. Hyping up what we are going to do sexually over text and then later when we meet there is no sexual energy from her.
Saturday she comes over. We flirt and get a little touchy. Talk about what we are going to do later. End up going out drinking downtown. Come home and snack and she wants to watch something. She seems to completely forget about sex. And for me its been on my mind all afternoon. She says she is too tired and says she hopes we have fun next day. Next day we go out and walk a lot. End up having a picnic at the park. Once again she is too tired for sex. Yes, both days were long, but sex doesnt seem to be a priority to her.
for me I feel needy or almost pervy to interupt our day to ask about "fun time". Like if we come home from a night out and she wants to snack and watch something. I feel like a needy pestering person to bring up sex.
Some other things had come up that week and I asked her if there was anything I could do to make her feel more loved or if there was something she felt was missing from our relationship. It ended up with me acknowledging that I felt something was up. I told her I was confused by our sex life. I told her that sometimes I feel that maybe there is an attraction issue. I told her that I sometimes feel like maybe im doing something wrong.
She felt bad and said she didnt want to lead me on and then suddenly shut me down. She says she is insanely attracted to me. I brought up our Saturday, explaining how we often talk big about sex and then leave no energy or time for it. She didnt seem to get what I was saying. Overall I keep trying to reasure her that I wasnt upset at her, or wanted her to feel obligated. I asked what I could do to help. She just doesnt really know I guess.
We share responsibilities. I go out of my way to do stuff to save her energy. I know a typical response would be to assume that I dont help in the kitchen and that she is carrying a lot of wieght in the relationship. That is not the case. She has been very vocal on how good I am at that, even though I dont think she should feel the need to.
To me, it feels like a priority issue. I would change plans, come home earlier from things, etc to provide time and energy for intimacy. However she talks big about it, but then doesnt follow through on it. She would make time for other things, like making a snack or watching a movie. But doesnt seem to think ahead on our intimacy.
I end up feeling needy and undesired. I dont know what to do. I love her and want to figure out things that help our sex life. To me its really important. She definitely likes sex, I just think she doesnt know how to prioritize it.