[OC] The Pen Cuts Swiftly...
[OC] The Pen Cuts Swiftly...
The pen cuts swiftly across the page.
The pale white bleakness that is the poets flesh.
Words spill forth from open veins.
Assuming the semblance of ink.
We were giants then.
I with my brush and you with your words.
Amnesiac deities both.
Gods in winter.
Walking and trading secrets in the rain.
Said I to you, "Is this love?".
and you to I, "Is this love?"
Such a silly ill defined thing.
A steady hand excises the remnants of what once. perhaps may have been.
Gathered into syllables, words, and stanzas,
pressed into the shapes of thoughts
and painful memories of happier times.
The water drops slake the thirst of fertile soil beyond the glass.
(The barrier between my world and that).
Protection for that greater realm,
containing stillness within.
Entropy and stillness.
For what else could come from half of duality.
There is no inclination to dance.
Lost are the edges of self.
A specter in a fog having neither light nor shadow,
with which to define a memory,
that was once a man.
A stroke of the pen severs my pain,
separate yet still a part
Troubling still,
Yet less troubling.
Bound now to paper,
and bound in turn.
Imprisoned between leather covers.
Left to creep and sulk between the leaves.
I know it took me a bit to get back and really read this, but I like it! I can definitely see myself in this as I struggle to write poems that simultaneously exorcise my soul and celebrate the life I am so gifted to live. There are several contradictions within it that really speak to that dichotomy of self.
I know you didn't post with the feedback tag, so I won't presume to give an unwanted opinion, but there is one line that struck me as odd: "We were giants then." I'm curious as to your intention with it, because its inclusion definitely makes me stop and consider it. If that is the intent, you succeed. If it is not, maybe there is a meaning I'm unable to dissect. It makes me curious.
Hi, I’m always happy to talk about my poems. The reason I didn’t include a feedback tag is because it’s a very old poem and I consider it to have been finished years ago. It’s very coded to my circumstances at the time. If you were a person who’d known me back then it would probably make perfect sense. But for the general reader, the specifics of my circumstance when writing it are much less important than the personal reflection that it evokes in the reader. I believe that less is more, and that poetry readers like having puzzles to solve. They often find the answers to those puzzles in themselves more than they could find it in any explanation the author could provide. So, my intent was indeed to make you stop and consider. It wasn’t my only intent though, and some of those I’ll keep to myself.
Thanks for this community by the way. You’re very clearly working hard to drive it and populate it with art. Those efforts are noticed and appreciated. Now if only c/writing would do the same.
Formatting poetry to display properly is a little bit of an undertaking though. Not sure if there’s a way to make that easier considering the platform.
You know, that's fair. Quite a bit of my older stuff is in the same boat, so I totally understand.
And thank you for the kind words! I'm glad this community is growing. It's my hope to foster a community where people are actually engaged with the content that's posted in a natural and curious way. :)
As far as the formatting is concerned, I agree. It is a real pain, sometimes. There is always the option of including picture submissions, much like r/poetry did, to preserve formatting without all of the extra effort. I wouldn't be opposed to that! What do you think?