Xi Jinping made me poo my pants

I was just walking around minding my own business when suddenly Xi Jinping, the devil incarnate, zapped me with telepathic socialism satan jihadist rays from across the world. Indeed, the dark forces of his thoughts were so profuse that I now have a scar (Xi's like Voldemort, he's that evil). God damn, how dare he preside over massive economic growth and safeguard Chinese sovereignty! This is literally 1984 and from the time you started reading this post to now, communism literally killed 100000000000 more people, you silly commie orcs (/s)